I hope it has not been asked.... I was curious to know your opinion about it so I made a pick :)

He let his fear of failing get the better of him. Even if it had turned out to be a mistake, he still should have done it. He should have at least tried. I can't imagine that he could have hurt Anya more than what he did.

I think he handled it in the WORST way possible though!

He was just scared that's all... which sucked but true.

Like Fanfly, I think that he should have at least tried.

grrr this is the one part where i feel like punching him in the face!!!

I just don't get why he did it still, he obviously still REALLY loved her and he hurt her so badly as well as hurting himself! He ruined their lives! It took them so long to find each other again. It's really sad.
SILLY BOY!!!

I kinda get why he did it and understand but also think it was really harsh on Anya.

It was so pointless. Marriage will be hard, suck it up. My parents had a horrible marriage too, but I want to get married even if I'm scared. He should know better than that, but Xander isn't ever able to let go of something once he's decided it's true. Bugs the heck out of me. Bad form, Xander.

Hey thanks, fanfly!

He did the right thing. It was a shitty thing to do at the time, but he wasn't ready for marriage. He was still too immature and not ready to commit, and he had all these personal issues. He recognized that he was too immature for marriage, and after realizing that, he would have hurt Anya more in the long run if he had gone on with the marriage.

"he would have hurt Anya more in the long run"

so what?

every always gets hurt in a relationship that why it's a risk, that's why anya put her heart out on the line for him and he didn't have the guts to do the same

pillock

not you jilly of course :D i meant him

Perfect question for a Debs hates Xander comment :D

Agreed with debs. And he did it in the worst way, to a woman who's seen all the crap men can do to women who love them.

lol em_em i was trying to avoid commenting cause i knew i would end up saying pillock :D

and lol nika we just need the third twinlet to say agreed :D

Where is she? We need her imput. :(

*yells* araaabelllaaaa coooie

hmmmmm not working.....oh i know

*impersonates spike* arabella, pet?

He was so stupid...

I do agree that he left her in the worst possible way and he was incredible stupid to do that!
But I don't think it was all his fault, his family screwed him up and then that demon guy was just mean!
(Yes I am gonna fight Xander's side!)

Twinlet, me and debs need backup and more Xander hate!

"his family screwed him up"

and anya's job didn't screw her up? anya spent centuries watching bad relationships, xander witnesses one (his parents) and freaks

buffy's parents had a awful relationship and that didn't make her fear commitment

and tara's family had the most screwiest of all relationships and yet she was brill with tara

"that demon guy was just mean!" such a xander excuse


......yay buffy debate, hehe would should organise one of these like the great debate lol

I like debates ;) It's cool to see people's own ideas.
And I agree with you... He did not have to listen to his family or the mean guy because it's his wedding,not theirs! Even if he was afraid (which is everybody's case) he should have done it.

While I do like Xander, I believe that Debs summed up this one situation perfectly with only one word.

Pillock

Ugh i am in agreeance with spikes_girl and while i love Xander he was a PILLOCK! he should of married her he was excited and then a demon comes and la de dah not an excuse!

Yes Xander's family screwed him up, Tara's family were nut cases, Anya's job and history messed her up, Buffy's parents relationship sucked at the end, Willow's mum was rubbish, this is all true (it wouldn't be good telly if they were all perfect). But their upbringing caused them all to do stupid things! Each one was scared that they would never be happy or in a 'normal relationship'. And no a 'normal relationship' (what ever that is) was not achievable for them, THEY WERE MOSTER FIGHTERS THAT'S NOT NORMAL!

When it comes to Xander, well he was never the most emotionally mature member of the group was he! The demon guy just pushed him over the edge! He knew that because of Anya's job all she wanted, now that she's human, was to be with a man who she loved and to be happy with him. Which she thought was impossible with her history until she found Xander. He then manipulated Xander into leaving showing him his worst nightmares, that was not his fault, his family and their behaviour terrified him we've sen that since before e.g. sleeping on the lawn at Christmas.

But I still think that he shouldn't of left her they were obviously soul mates and we see that in S7.
(I'm not defending that he left her just that it was not completely his fault, other factors at to blame too!)
(I think I've confused myself now :S I think my argument is Xander is not a Pillock!)

I'm torn. Xander and Anya were clearly in love and the reason Xander left her at the altar had nothing to do with falling out love. While I think Xander handled absolutely everything in the worst possible way, if he was having doubts, then he had no business getting married and we saw throughout most of season 6 that both were having doubts. It's just that Anya was able to overcome hers while Xander couldn't overcome his.

Thanks for your feedback, Seddie4Ever

They both had their doubts about it, as revealed by their song in OMWF. It'd have been better if they'd actually talked, and decided to postpone the wedding and have a long engagement. But then that'd have been no drama in comparison.