2. Secrets are good — especially life-threatening ones.
3. It’s OK for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful — as long as he has great abs.
4. If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the amor of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you seguro forever.
5. If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling you he will never see you again), it is because he loves you so much he will suffer just to keep you safe.
6. When a boy leaves you, going into shock, losing all your friends and enduring night terrors are completely acceptable occurrences — as long as you keep your grades up.
7. It is extremely romantic to put yourself in dangerous situations in order to see your ex-boyfriend again. It’s even mais romantic to remember the sound of his voice when he yelled at you.
8. Boys who leave you always come back.
9. Because they come back, you should hold out, waiting for them for months, even when completely acceptable and less-abusive alternative males present themselves.
10. Even though you have no intention of dating an alternative male who expresses interest in you, it is fine to string the young man along for months. Also, you should use him to fix things for you. Maybe he’ll even buy you something.
11. You should use said male to fix things because girls are incapable of anything mechanical or technical.
12. Lying to your parents is fine. Lying to your parents while you run away to save your suicidal boyfriend is an extremely good idea that shows your strength and maturity. Also, it is what you must do.
13. Car theft in the service of amor is acceptable.
14. If the boy you are in amor with causes you (even indirectly) to be so badly beaten you end up in the hospital, you should tell the doctors and your family that you “fell down the steps” because you are such a silly, clumsy girl. That false explanation always works well for abused women.
15. Men can be changed for the better if you sacrifice everything you are and devote yourself to their need for change.
16. Young women should make no effort to improve their social skills or emotional state. Instead, they should seek out potential mates that share their morose deficiencies and emotional illnesses.
17. Girls shouldn’t always read a book series just because everyone else has.
18. When composição literária a book series, it’s acceptable to lift seminal fonte material and bastardize it with tired, overwrought teenage angst.
19. When making or watching a major feature film, you should gleefully embrace the 20 minutos of plot it provides in between extended segments of vacant-eyed silence and self-indulgent, moaning banter.
20. vampiros — once among the great villains of literature and motion pictures — are no longer scary. In fact, they’re every bit as whiny, self-absorbed and impotent as any human being.
this is true
Hey, I'm typing away at início while my dad takes Mom on an extensive trip to France! Jacob could hardly contain his excitement! Seriously, He's burst into a dog three times- oh, not again Jake! Four times. Anyways, whenever my parents are out, my dad posts up a list of rules. Here's what he wrote.
Renesmee,
your mom and I are going to France. Do not take advantage of this with Jacob. Tell Alice where you're going, and DON'T go to La Push. Watch for bears, and don't go anywhere near the hunting zone. No friends over later than 10:00PM unless it's Jacob(even then don't try anything funny.). Jacob is not allowed on your bed(and I don't care if he's in dog form.). Alice will come over to check in on you regularly, but call her if you need help.
-Dad
Ugh. As if Jake and I would do anything stupid. I think Jake was planning on that, though. Well, I hear Jake break something upstairs. I'm gonna see what he's up to. Later!
Renesmee,
your mom and I are going to France. Do not take advantage of this with Jacob. Tell Alice where you're going, and DON'T go to La Push. Watch for bears, and don't go anywhere near the hunting zone. No friends over later than 10:00PM unless it's Jacob(even then don't try anything funny.). Jacob is not allowed on your bed(and I don't care if he's in dog form.). Alice will come over to check in on you regularly, but call her if you need help.
-Dad
Ugh. As if Jake and I would do anything stupid. I think Jake was planning on that, though. Well, I hear Jake break something upstairs. I'm gonna see what he's up to. Later!
When she first looked into her daughters dark chocolate eyes she felt amor and happiness. The soft broze curls in her hair shot a feeling of hope in her body;that she was alive.She felt amor for this little one.
A kind of amor she had never felt before:of amor and protection. The kind of amor a mother feels.A amor so passionate it hurt for her to feel.
The angel looking back at her was the most beutiful she had ever seen. No one had ever imagined such beuty.
Then the little cherub clutched her mothers finger and the two felt amor and happiness forever.
..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
A kind of amor she had never felt before:of amor and protection. The kind of amor a mother feels.A amor so passionate it hurt for her to feel.
The angel looking back at her was the most beutiful she had ever seen. No one had ever imagined such beuty.
Then the little cherub clutched her mothers finger and the two felt amor and happiness forever.
..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment.
9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.
8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.
6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.
4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.
3. Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.
2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.
And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?
1. Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” por The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne.
9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.
8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.
6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”
5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.
4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.
3. Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.
2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.
And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?
1. Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” por The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne.
I drew this on the computer:D
