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added by Gretulee
added by 3xZ
added by mina27
posted by CullenProperty
1.    Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys amor flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual perguntas a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all dia but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you,...
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posted by milorox18
1. I amor the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I amor the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I amor the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I amor the way you look at me.

5. I amor how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I amor the way I can’t imagine a dia without you in my life.

7. I amor the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I amor the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I amor the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I amor how I know you’ll always be there when I need you to be.

11....
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1. Angus is for a beefy yet cute boyfriend, or to bolster up the woefully sagging self-esteem of a weak, pasty face limb noodle who does your homework for you.

2. Babe - is a classic cute boyfriend nickname that will only get you in a slight amount of trouble in front of his friends. ( i call mine this)

3. Baby Boo Boo - is for a boyfriend that you'd like to castrate slowly por giving him effeminate names.

4. Bunny-kins - means you're cousins and will be humping like bunnies at the seguinte family wedding.

5. Bunny Wabbit - you may as well stroke his belly with a coonskin boné, cap and feed him grapes when...
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DEMENTED POEMS

rosas are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

rosas are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

rosas are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And show me your tits

rosas make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And you amor it up the shitter

rosas are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

rosas are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

rosas are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

rosas are shit
Violets are crap
Show me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

rosas are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And andorinha it down

rosas are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar you grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something or someone

3. Go up to a aleatório person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki aleatório noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a fonte run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to you in public about the...
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1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while atrás and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask you somethingand i want you to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how you feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want you to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi or Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by adultswimperson
Source: google
I found this hilarious artigo on pcworld.com
Don't know who the author is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's Caps Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my...
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added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: google
posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a password other than "password" or "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits seguinte to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be mais imaginative.

I will not bore my boss por with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some mais excuses.

I will do less laundry and use mais deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
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Give my regards to broadway. o-O

*Insert epic theme song here*

Alright, I'm pretty sure we all know who Spongebob is. The show was a funny, crazy, and inventive kids show that pretty much EVERYBODY ALIVE has at least heard of.

The show had memorable characters, funny comedy that everyone can enjoy, and.......

CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! ^____^

But one of my favorito parts of the show was the songs, and today we're counting down the best of them!

BECAUSE NOBODY CAN SING BETTER THAN A TALKING SPONGE. ;D

#10. Striped Sweater!

link

Shots fired.

Seriously, this is EASILY the stupidest song on this...
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added by Juilet1234
posted by flippy_fan210
Some of you might have heard of the game Facade. those of you who have, you probably wonder why they hate Melons so much. well, this is my theory.
_____________________-_____________________
Trip and Grace used to live in a normal home, no fancy apartment. they had a child, Phoebe. she...really liked melons.

she bought one when she was 5 and never let anyone eat it. they let her keep it. one day, she said "i want a cat". it was totally out of the blue, but they said yes, she got a little black cat and named him Ivan. she really loved him. one day, she took Ivan up to her room. she came down,...
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posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did you get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A pinguim rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four perguntas to determine the level of your intellect. Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: You are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in segundo place.
In which position are you now?

Answer:

If you answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. You overtook the segundo runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the seguinte pergunta try not to be so dumb.

2 : If you overtake the last...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked por his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes início and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother replies " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad replies "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she replies "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she replies "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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