Car Stereotypes
There are many different types of cars for many different types of people. Observe.
Audi
Man: *Driving a black A6 at 80 miles an hora down the highway* Get out of the fucking way!!! *Pushes a Cadillac off the road*
Woman: *Crashes into a tree* Maniac!
Man: *Tailgating a Jaguar that is actually going the speed of 55* Come on, don't you know what the speed is?! *Honks the horn* Let's go!! *Honks again* I don't have time for this!! *Bumps into the Jaguar, and makes it crash into a guardrail*
Jeep
Buff Man: *Leaning on a trailer with a speed boat* Yep, just getting my Jeep filled up with gas here at the Gulf station, and then I'm going to New York to go fishing, and test out my new boat. God I amor my Jeep. Off roading is the way of life.
Ford
Man: *Driving a Taurus. He slows down as he gets behind a Corvette* Why is he slowing down?
Teenager: *Looking at the Ford behind him* Please don't be undercover, please don't be undercover!
Man: *Passes him*
Teenager: *Lets out a sigh of relief as he watches the Ford speed away from him*
Toyota
Old Man: *Turns left, passing a red light. He pushes a truck off the road* Learn how to drive!!
Man 53: *Looks at the dent on his truck* Jackass.
Honda
Lady: *Points at her Accord* This is the best car ever, because it's very fuel efficient.
Man: *Looks at his Volt* Yeah, sure.
Lady: (Dammit! He knows the truth! His car is better!!)
Hummer, yes people still drive these
Man: Alright!! I finished lifting the 600 pound weights. Now it's time to go to Wal-Mart and buy stuff!!
People: *Shopping at Wal-Mart*
Man: *Crashes into the front of the store* I WANT 60,000 CASES OF WATER!!! PRONTO!!!
Worker: They're in Aisle 12!
Man: DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!!!!! And while you're at it, FILL UP MY HUMMER WITH DIESEL!!!!!!!!!!! I also need some Blu-Ray discs, a Blu-Ray player, and a large variety of food!
Worker: That probably explains why you crashed through the front of our store.
Not all Hummers run on diesel FYI.
Fiat
A hot chick with big breasts was walking towards a rosa, -de-rosa Fiat 500.
Girl: *Grabs a dildo out of the luva compartment, then puts the key in the ignition. She turns it, and as she hears the engine having trouble starting, she begins to masturbate with the dildo* Ah! Ah! *Turns the key again as she continues masturbating* Oh yes~!
Citroen
Girl: It's the same thing as Fiat, only in France.
Man 96: Does anyone even drive those?
Girl: I have a 2CV.
Man 96: ...of course you do.
Volkswagen
Girl: *In a '55 Beetle, masturbating as her car won't start* Ja, Ja! Jawohl! Das ist wunderbar!
Man 89: Das ist das gleiche Problem wie Fiat, aber in Deutschland.
Aston Martin
Man: *Steps out of his car, wearing a tuxedo*
Woman: *Sitting behind a computer* Have you found anything yet?
Man: I spotted our target's vehicle. It's parked in front of the casino. It may take a while for me to-
Man 43: *Steps out of his car*
Man: Never mind, I got a clear shot. *Shoots the man*
Woman: You were supposed to bring him in alive!
Man: I'm Daniel Craig, I don't care about bringing people in for questioning. I only care about murder.
Woman: *Facepalm*
And finally, Nissan
A doorbell rang, and the door was soon opened por none other than.........ThaSlimJim.
ThaSlimJim: Oh cool, you brought my pizza.
pizza Delivery Guy: Yes, I brought it in my new Altima.
ThaSlimJim: Holy shit dude, I have that car!
pizza Delivery Guy: Sick bro!
ThaSlimJim: Do you also like pizza too?
pizza Delivery Guy: Hell yeah dude, that's why I deliver it!
ThaSlimJim: Sick! Come on in, I got some marijuana!
pizza Delivery Guy: Rock on bro!!
6 hours later
pizza Delivery Guy: *Stoned as he walks back to his car*
ThaSlimJim: Yo, come back tomorrow with mais pizza!
pizza Delivery Guy: Sure thing bro. *Stumbles into his car, and drives away. He swerves down the road at 60 miles an hour*
---
mais Car Stereotypes
We have mais stereotypes for mais cars, coming your way.
Rolls-Royce
Butler: *Parks a Silver Wraith in front of a giant mansion*
Rich Man: *Steps out with an unbrella* Well, pish posh and perfection, welcome to my British início dear chap. Come this way and I'll show you what's inside. *Inside his house* First off, we have every picture inside a gold frame. Each frame is 24 karat gold. I have 65 million pounds worth of diamonds, and 65 million pounds in general. I make ten thousand pounds a day, and share half of it with everyone in town.
Butler: He wouldn't do that if he had an Audi. He'd have to save up to keep it from falling apart.
GMC
Teenager: *Looking at a man*
Man: You scratched my truck.
Teenager: I did not.
Man: Yes you did.
Teenager: *Follows the man towards his truck. No scratch is seen*
Man: My door is messed up thanks to you.
Teenager: I didn't even touch your truck.
Man: You need to be mais careful on your bicycle. Get some training wheels.
Teenager: Hey, worry about yourself. *Rides away*
Man: *Shaking in fury*
Dodge
Girl: *Looking at a black charger following her* Please don't be undercover.
Man: *Driving the Charger* What is the meaning of this person going slow? *Runs the girl off the road*
Girl: *Stuck in a ditch* Well, he's definitely not a cop.
Chevrolet
Teenager: *Going 75 on the highway* I don't care if the speed is 55. I'm late for college.
Man 77: *Parked on the side of the road in a Suburban*
Teenager: *Turns off the highway, and drifts onto a road, turning right. He sees the Suburban* That's not a cop, because cops only use Ford's.
Man 77: *Spots the teenager speeding past him. He follows him, turning on his police lights* Dispatch, I got me a speeder.
Teenager: *Looks back at the cop* Fuck.
Mercedes-Benz. There's two of these.
The first one.
Busty Blonde: *Stops at a gas station in a shiny convertible* I need premium.
Attendant: You're not gonna masturbate if you have engine trouble, are you?
Busty Blonde: Does my car look like a Fiat? Besides, why should I masturbate, when I got you?
Attendant: *Blushing*
2nd
Indian: Hello, I from India, and this is my 1978 Mercedes. It is diesel powered, and should break down, but it does not, because it is Mercedes. All Indians, and Muslims in America drive diesel powered sedans from the 70's and 80's.
Muslim: Not me, I drive Volvo.
Indian: Get a diesel you bitch.
Mitsubishi
Man: *Drifting in snow* Woo-hoo!!
Man 79: *In a Ford Focus* Why am I losing?
Man: Because you're not driving a Mitsubishi. The king of rally cross, in dirt, or snow!! Yeah!! *Goes over a 50 foot jump, and continues driving in the snow* Forget Jeep, Subaru, and everything else. Mitsubishi is what you need for off road adventures.
Subaru
Asian: *Drifting in an outback station wagon. He smiles as he tries hard not to lean into the passenger's assento as he continues drifting*
And finally, BMW
I wish this wasn't true, because BMW's are very nice cars. Alas, some bmw drivers do behave like morons. As a matter of fact, what you will see actually happened to me recently.
Man: *At a red light, getting ready to turn left. He looks at a bmw X5 on the other side of the intersection, also getting ready to turn left* That's a nice car, I'd like to have one of those.
Woman: *In the X5*
Man: *Sees the light turn green. He begins to go forward*
Woman: *Driving forward, but gets in front of the other car, and goes on the wrong side of the road*
Man: What are you doing?
Woman: You nearly hit me!!
Man: I'm not the one who got on the left side of the road. *Gets rammed por a Toyota*
Okay, I didn't actually get rammed, but a Toyota was coming towards me at 80 miles an hour. If you want to kill yourself, that's your problem, but don't get others involved por driving like a jackass.
She's beautiful...
Her brown eyes sparkle.
Her nails are perfect.
Her golden brown hair shines like polished wood.
She is an average height for twenty-one.
She's playful, friendly.
She never gets mad.
She loves food.
She hugs you a lot.
Don't you amor her?
I do...
I amor my dog.
:D:D:D:D:D:D
Her brown eyes sparkle.
Her nails are perfect.
Her golden brown hair shines like polished wood.
She is an average height for twenty-one.
She's playful, friendly.
She never gets mad.
She loves food.
She hugs you a lot.
Don't you amor her?
I do...
I amor my dog.
:D:D:D:D:D:D
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!",a teen named Tessa screamed as she was falling down a hole.
Everyone gasped.
"NO!!!",her friend Dana yelled
"Tessa!",another friend,Martha shouted."No!No!No!No!No!No!!You still owe me 50 bucks,man!"
"That darn lady,she roubou our money,man!",a cowboy said."What a shame"
"No..", a girl named Erica whispered.
"Oh my god!",cowboy said
Everyone sobbed."All that money!", a lady named Lisa wailed."No!!!!!!!"
"The money is gone,man!",Lisa's sister Sara whined.
The cowboy sighed.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!",Martha screamed."MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone gasped.
"NO!!!",her friend Dana yelled
"Tessa!",another friend,Martha shouted."No!No!No!No!No!No!!You still owe me 50 bucks,man!"
"That darn lady,she roubou our money,man!",a cowboy said."What a shame"
"No..", a girl named Erica whispered.
"Oh my god!",cowboy said
Everyone sobbed."All that money!", a lady named Lisa wailed."No!!!!!!!"
"The money is gone,man!",Lisa's sister Sara whined.
The cowboy sighed.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!",Martha screamed."MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!!"
One fine dia in the middle of the night two dead me got u to fight back to back they faced
eachother drew there swords and shot eachother
the deff policeman heard the noise and came to arrest thoughs two young boys if u dont believe me u know its true ask the blind man he saw to.
(i like that thing or whatever u call it lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa im only puting this part because the artigo is not long enough and blahblahblah and all that stuff and stuff and oh my god how long does it need to be)
eachother drew there swords and shot eachother
the deff policeman heard the noise and came to arrest thoughs two young boys if u dont believe me u know its true ask the blind man he saw to.
(i like that thing or whatever u call it lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa im only puting this part because the artigo is not long enough and blahblahblah and all that stuff and stuff and oh my god how long does it need to be)
1. they will sing his songs
2.they will blush when they here somone say his name or talk about one of his new songs
3.they will have atleast one picture of him
4.gets upset if they cant go to one of his concerts
5. wont be afraid to say hes cool
6.listens to his música every night to go to sleep with
7.will ask you if you have heard his new song
8.screams if someone else says i amor justin beiber
9.is always talking about a video they watched of him on youtube
10.will say they hate or amor whatever he does even if they hate it or amor it
2.they will blush when they here somone say his name or talk about one of his new songs
3.they will have atleast one picture of him
4.gets upset if they cant go to one of his concerts
5. wont be afraid to say hes cool
6.listens to his música every night to go to sleep with
7.will ask you if you have heard his new song
8.screams if someone else says i amor justin beiber
9.is always talking about a video they watched of him on youtube
10.will say they hate or amor whatever he does even if they hate it or amor it
•4 cups steamed Japanese rice
•strips of dried nori (seaweed)
•salt to taste
•black sesame seeds
•*for fillings:
•ume (pickled plum) / grilled salted salmão (small chunks) / kombu no tsukudani
Preparation:
Cook steamed rice. Put about a half cup of steamed arroz in a arroz bowl. Wet your hands in water so that the arroz won't stick. Rub some salt on your hands. Place the steamed arroz on your hand and put your favorito filling, such as kombu-no-tsukudani, umeboshi, and grilled salmão on the rice. Push the filling into the arroz lightly. Hold the arroz between your palms. Form the arroz into a round, a triangle, or a cylinder por pressing lightly with your both palms. Roll the arroz ball on your hands a few times, pressing lightly. embrulho, envoltório the arroz ball with a strip of nori or sprinkle some sesame seeds on them.
voice: NEW FROM WHAT EVA THIS IS IT IS....... THE WHAT EVER IT IS!!!!!!!! This is made in the USA (china) made totaly por americans (aliens) and it total IS NOT toxic!!!!!
Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...
voice: LOVED IT!
Girl's friend: you got the what ever it is?
Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.
Girl's friend: what does it do?
Girl: I don't know. But I amor it!
Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if you call right now we will also send you a what ever you call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 mais dollers shiping and handleing! YOU GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever you call it! CALL NOW!!!
other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever you call it have you credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!
Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...
voice: LOVED IT!
Girl's friend: you got the what ever it is?
Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.
Girl's friend: what does it do?
Girl: I don't know. But I amor it!
Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if you call right now we will also send you a what ever you call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 mais dollers shiping and handleing! YOU GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever you call it! CALL NOW!!!
other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever you call it have you credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!
OOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!
HI EVERYONE I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS THE THIRD EPISODE!
HURRAY!
TODAYS A VERY SPECAIL dia BECAUSE I AFISHALY!
WELL TODAY OUR GUEST estrela IS......GIR!
BUM BUM B BUM!
Invader Calliope: HIIIIIII GIR!
Gir: HI!
Invader Calliope: Thats all you have to say! HI!
AT LEAST ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER WHEN HE WAS ON THE SHOW!
Gir: Sorry but it's hard to stay in character and
Invader Calliope: AND!?! gir EVERYONE LOVES YOU THE MOST YOU HAVE THE MOST fã GIRLS AND ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER!
Oh no we are out of time good bye now and in joy the suprise picture!
The End!