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1)"Why, do you find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I amor the segundo grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and you actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or just say, "Well, I guess you'd be the one to know."

6)I'd just say "Whoaaa. I know you have fantasies but keep them to yourself."

7)"why, you interested"? :) :)

8)That's not what your mom said last night.

9)'And...? This concerns you because...?'

Gay is not an offensive thing to be called. SO I would take it mais as a statement than an offense.

10)At least I'm not a homophobe.

11)I was in this situation before and I turn to the person and looked him in the face and said “ well honey, I guess you would know better than anyone would since you were biting the travesseiro last night.”

12)What tipped you off, my great sense of style, biting wit or was it your GAYDAR honey?

13)"I'm not even going to acknowledge your stupidity and close mindedness.' and walk away. It's not worth getting into a pissing match over. Pick your battles.

14)"It takes one to know one" always worked well for me.

It belittles the homophobe within his own warped value-system, without belittling you. It's rather childish of course, and is not of course 100% literally true, but although I haven't actually used it in 30-odd years (not having been called gay for a while), I've often had cause to reflect on its essential wisdom. Many gay-bashers are hiding, I believe, something of a rosa, -de-rosa streak within themselves.

15)must admit the best reply i ever heard was to a real bit brute of a fella and he was totally shocked.

The big fella said "Oi are you bent"

Quick reply was " Why have you got a crooked cock"

That was the end of that.

16)"Is that a statement or a come-on?"

17)YES i am HAPPY have you got a problem with that?

18)"I wear glasses as well. Just in case you didn't notice."

19)"Usually when one accuses another of being homosexual, it is simply to cover up their own fears and insecurities and thoughts about being homosexual themselves"

20)o0o0o0o baby you would know, then blow a kiss at them.

21)"And why exactly would you want to know...?"

Then turn and walk casually away.
Don't even play their silly little game por trying to make a "Comeback".

22) "does the term get a life mean anything to you?"

Or there's always the classic- give him a pitying look and walk away.

23)No, I'm extatic!!!, say it with a massive grin on your face.

24)Say "Yea, so blow me"

25)"ooof, you find me cute, don't you ;)"

26)Just say, If you don't tell anyone that I have a wooden penis then I wont tell anyone that you have splinters in your mouth.

27)Thanks. And I'm an adult too."

And walk away.

Why bother staying near idiots like this?

28)''And you're cute!''
Don't forget a 'menacing smile' yo...

29)Don't hate Me because you aren't me!

30)And you're what? Sad?

31)"In your dreams"

32)Well, if you AREN'T gay or bi, and the person who's asking is the same sex you are, try, "If you're looking for a date, you're going to have to look somewhere else; I can't help you."

OR -- "I don't know what you need, but you're not going to find it here."

OR -- "What's bugging you? Something to hide? You pulling a Larry Craig on us?"

Larry Craig is the conservative Republican "pro-family" U.S. Senator from Idaho who has been hateful to gay people to try to cover up that he, himself, has sex with strange men in public washrooms (despite having a female spouse back home.)

You want to avoid respostas that insult gay people. You want an answer that insults or at least deflects the person who is starting the anti-gay attack on you.

33)I deleted it, it was duplicate.

34)What kind of "cable" do you get. It looks like you have DSL.

35)Well, I prefer to be known as jolly or happy, but I appreciate you wanting to include me in your social group.

36)In my case, "No, only halfway." :)

37)Are you dropping hints .. and if you are .. sorry you're not my type .. that's what I'll say .. lol .. oi not that I'm gay ..

38)You weren't complaining last night!

39)"I', sorry if I misled you. I prefer the opposite sex so I would not be a fun date, but we can still be friends."

40)You only say that because I turned down your boyfriend.

41)At least I know the difference between “you're” and “your”.

42)You may want to say so are many other people and that is not every nice!It is your choice what you want to be in your own ways!Many people are gay but that does not bother most people and it doesn't bother me!

43)And you're point is.....

44)I'm sorry I know you want me to be a homosexual so we can hook up but I'm really not gay so it just wouldn't work between us.

45)"Is there a problem with being happy?" (using gay as a derogative term, as I sense that this is..is nothing mais than ignorance and tells a lot about the person saying it) Don't worry be gay!

46)say "I thought we were going to keep this quiet until we're both ready to come out"

47)..and you find me attractive?

48)'say'no I'm not gay, but oi but you don't need to take my word for it just ask your mom.

49)You're straight.Thanks for the observation.

50)'thank god, I didn't think you felt the same, come here lover!"

51)In fact i am gay. if you're intention is to insult me at least put some thought into it.

52)I may be happy (gay)but ,not desperate enough to want to go out with you....

53)Want my number?

54)Best comeback for guys when another guy says you're gay just look at him and point to you're Penis and when he looks just say who's gay now? and walk away.

55)If this is high-school- first, is there anything about that statement that hits closer to início than you would like? If there is, deal with this immediately, and then bite the bullet-
say yes.
whatever any foul idiot with no imagination calls you, say yes. After you agree with them, there is nothing mais they can do. Turn it around, and throw it back in their face. I was tormented through high-school, middle-school, elementary school- you name it. Fat, ugly, a lesbian, a witch, whatever. Say yes. They stopped calling me everything after I agreed with them. When they called me a lesbian, I put the two fingered V up to my mouth and flicked my tongue, and the guys taunting me flipped out and ran away- no joke. These tormentors will not stop immediately, because they're testing you, but hold firm. When you do not react, they can not hurt you.

56)How about "if you have a problem with that, then you are the one with the problem"

57)Pucker up and say " Your place or mine?"

58)Like Jerry Seinfeld said "not that there is anything wrong with that"

59)'So is your face!'

Please note that the first reply doesn't work if the person is your brother or sister...

Seriously, though. If someone calls you gay with a genuine intention to hurt you based on your sexuality, let them. Tell them they're right, or wrong as the case may be. A person that crude and insensitive doesn't deserve your attention.

60)"Your mother (if you're a girl) didn't seem to mind."
"Your father (if you're a boy) didn't seem to mind."

61)You say "yes I do find myself to be a very happy person." or say "that's not my name at all, you should really try to keep your names/faces in order."

Gay has many different meanings and is also a name.

62)How about "Hey, ducky, you're the one whose dating me."

63)"Not without jantar and a movie first!"

64)Why? Are you looking for a date?

65)I'm sorry, but I just don't like you like that. Sorry things didn't turn out for you.

66)"I never noticed before but you have a great butt, honey" *blow kiss/wink and walk off*

"But I thought you liked it last night" *pout*

"No, but your girlfriend/mom/sister sure does amor anal!"

67)Damn Skippy! Now dip me chocolate and throw me to the lesbians!

Haha!

68)Bend over and lets find out :P

69)You better believe it baby, now turn around and I'll show you how it's done.

70)"would you please excuse me, and walk away".

71)Well if the other person is of the same sex as you, you can always say something like " Just because I am hot does not mean I am yours!"

72)LOL...This has happened to me...Another female told everyone I was a lesbian. I confronted her...She of course played it up for her friends, and as she was walking away, I grabbed her and kissed her. Am I a lesbian? No. Did she ever say anything about me again? No. Muahahaha

73)OH darling, that coming from someone who gave me a good blow job last night.

74)Oh am I? Tell me about it.

75)I know you are but what am I? (I always find that so lame it just cracks me up)

76)"I'm not a lesbian, but my girlfriend is!"

77)if they don't like it tell the straighties to stop making gay babies.

78)Why! I didn't know YOU were gay? ..You're not?...Then why are you giving me a physical appraisal?

79)Jack: "Hello, are you Gay?"
Gay: "Yes Jack, Nice to meet you"

80)And you're about as straight as a circle.

81)So is your Dad, look how you turned out.

82)For a kid: "They say gays have the best gaydar!" (or equivalent "takes one to know one")
Showing you don't care ("I support gay people" "What, are you GAY?" "Um, yeah, because the fact I've just stuck up for gays means I'd be reeeeeeeeally insulted if a bigot thought I was one.")
If you're an adult, though? Seriously, who gives two shits? It's not an insult, and when people mean it as an insult it's just a quick way for you to find out they're not worth your time.

83)Yeah.... In your wet dreams .

84)Isn't it weird how we can always recognize another gay?

85)With a deadpan expression, and a flat toneless voice -

"gosh that really is a killer insult...."

followed por a big yawn.

86)Would it significantly raise your IQ if I was?

87)At least when I look into a mirror, I don't break it!

88)Are you free Saturday night?

89)If it's a girl:
"Sorry to disappoint."

in general:
"You're right! I AM a happy person!"
"Did you find that in a trash can? It kinda stinks..."
"YOU'D wanna know."
"Sorry, bud. Not interested."
"is that your face, or did your neck throw up on you?"
"If you were looking in the mirror, I'd say the same."

90)"Why, are you interested?"
"Not for you."
What, do you like me?
Why'd you say that,are you fantasizing about me again?
"Only in your wildest dreams"
"AWW! atuação a whittle tough just cause you can't have me?"
"Get your pants off and we'll test that theory"
"Only for you, sexy!"
"your mom/dad sure found out"-OH por the way is he/she free this Saturday night?
"your mother/father tells me that all the time"

"I know that you are jealous but do try to understand sweetie that I am just not attracted to bitches/dickheads so go find another girl/guy to have a crush on" and if he/she says he/she doesn't have a crush on you say "that's funny you are giving me all this attention and not on the guys/girls why is that"

Or "I am not the one that's oppressing about it do you have something you want to tell us" and if he/she says that he/she is not oppressing about being a gay then say "hey I am not the one who has said the word gay "x" times there's nothing wrong with you being sexually attracted to women/men"

You know what? I would absolutely amor to see life from your point of view, but I simply can't seem to stick my head THAT far up my ass.

91)Is that an offer?

92)I no that's your sexual fantasy.

93)Give them a condescending look and say "Well, yeah, that's why I don't have time for small-minded fuckwits like yourself."

94)Yeah, Gay like a Fox!!

95)how about "no shit?!" :) congratulations you aren't so stupid after all.

Okay these are a lot,well I was bored. :)
INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids por their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and gir in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. gir simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....
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posted by KateKicksAss
 This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
Of course, if you are TRULY random, you shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever you may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases or monologues or pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of friends or logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if you got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and you can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...
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posted by invadercalliope
When you turn around, who is that behind you?
Bury your claws in the darkness and shred the night
The raindrops turn to drops of blood and trickle down your cheek
If you have no place to return to
Stop on this finger, on this finger of mine
Where the evening cicadas cry in the forbidden forest
You cannot turn back anymore

__________________________________________________

furimuita sono ushiro no sorewa dare
kurayami ni tsume wo tatete yoru wo hikisaita
amadare wa chi no shizuku to natte hoho wo tsutaiochiru
mou dekonimo kaeru basho ga nainara
kono yubi tomare watashi no yubi ni
sono yubi goto tsuretetteageru
higurashi ga naku akazu no mori de
atomodori wa mou dekinai
"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and por brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in cama and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...
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(CREATED por RAE RI, NOT ME)

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.


Chuck Norris can eliminar the Recycling Bin.


Ghosts are actually caused por Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.


Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.


Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.


Chuck Norris once had a coração attack; his coração lost.


Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on; he turns the dark off.


The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.


Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.


When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters; not even a mirror is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries. (silvaze9)
posted by yoshifan1976
Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse pêssego was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", pêssego told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a kiss and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. margarida hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...
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added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
No, I seriously hate it whenever I hear kids talk about disney and celebrities, they say crap like "OMG Justin Bieber is awesome!" "The Jonas Brothers are having a new movie!" "Have you watched Shake it up? It's the best thing disney has made!"
It sickens me that parents allow their kids to watch & listen to the mediocre shit disney Channel produces now rather than to have them watch & listen to some REAL disney & music. Even the trash filmes like Prom, John Carter, Mars Needs Moms, and some of the disney direct-to-video sequels are better than the crap disney Channel has to offer....
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posted by hetalianstella
This is in no particular order.

- I hate how people automatically assume you are Chinese just because you're Asian, or automatically assume you are Mexican just because you are Hispanic.

- How people always say they COULD care less when they COULDN'T care less!

- When people use an elevator.....for one floor!

- Perverts....I mean, I don't hate perverts. Some of my best friends are perverts. But I'm not a pervert, so don't act like a pervert around me. Anywhere else is fine, but please respect my asexuality.

- When people overuse lol.
Especially when there is nothing funny!
Same with OMG. I...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
This is a My Little pónei, pônei fã fiction. If you do not like talking cavalos that come in different colors, run for your life.



Song: link
 As the green lines come closer, so do the words.
As the green lines come closer, so do the words.


France, 1938

Two stallions were walking to a warden at a jail. They were outside, near the exit where all the prisoners were lined up.

SeanTheHedgehog Presents

Pierce Hawkins as....

Papillon

Police pónei, pônei 54: All present, and accounted for sir.
Warden: Thank you.

Also starring Dragonaura15's Metal Gloss

Police pónei, pônei 95: *Playing drums for five seconds*
Warden: As of this moment, you will all be transferred...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see.


On May 27, 2016, a war was started por a Hungarian named Gergely Szórád. He started this war on a website on the internet called Fanpop. He replaced an icon, using a picture that had Starlight Glimmer in it. Gergely also threatened to kill anyone that opposed the new ícone he created. This angered millions, and dividido, dividir the My Little pónei, pônei fandom into two. The S.G. Bronies, (the bad guys), and the Anti S.G. Bronies, (the good guys.) This war also created a new law in April 12, 2018, all forms of entertainment...
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Just something I want to experiment with.. Even though it's not October it is kinda Halloweeny...



10: Jack the Ripper:
Let's start with then obvious for a list like this, the guy who disemboweled and probably dissected prostitutes, while also composição literária taunting letters to police. If you heard of Black Dalia, well this guy did this too 'all' his victims. And as the story goes, he was never found..


9: Jane Topper:
To me there was always disturbing about "Jolly Jane", the nurse was suppose to help people but instead poisons them, and worse still, lies with them as they died. Apparently for sexual...
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Mapquest Driving Directions is a web mapping service that provides detailed driving directions, traffic updates, and maps for various modes of transportation, including cars, bicycles, and public transportation. Mapquest Driving Directions is available on the web, as well as on mobile devices through the Mapquest app.

Cruise control, on the other hand, is a feature found in many modern cars that allows drivers to set a constant speed for their vehicle. With cruise control, drivers can relax their feet and maintain a consistent speed without needing to constantly adjust the accelerator pedal....
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(All sources come from listed games and celebrities Wikipedia pages, Behind the Voice Actor pages, and imdb pages)

You know, there’s a lot they don’t tell you about voice acting. One of those things is that voice atuação is tough. Like really tough. Oh sure, a lot of people will tell you, “You don’t even gotta show your face. This isn’t real acting.”. Those are the words of a person who has never attempted to read lines naturally on a piece of paper to convey emotions through just dialogue in their life. Also an idiot. But yeah, voice atuação isn’t easy. Having to strain your voice...
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added by Ranty-cat
Source: Fb
I amor Rob's videos.. But some of them just leave me stunned or disguested.. These are some of such examples..



#11: THE KILLER lagosta BOY:
A video about a disfigured man who has claws for hands and abused his family.. Bad enough, but all the comments being Spongebob jokes kinda angered me.. Maybe I'm too sensitive, I don't know..


#10: ANGRY GAMER DAD:
Normally something like this would be a morbid joke.. But this really happed..

So basically a toddler mistakingly unplugged the xbox. And it's father, who was playing it, beats the living shit out of her.. Killing her..



#9: EDMUND KEMBER:
Edmund lived...
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