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 |  Action, Comedy  |  23 January 2015
from 9,735 users   Metascore: 27/100
Juggling angry Russians, the British Mi5, and an international terrorist, debonair art dealer and part time rogue Charlie Mortdecai races to recover a stolen painting rumored to contain a code that leads to lost Nazi gold.
Eric Aronson (screenplay), Kyril Bonfiglioli (novel)
Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor | See full cast and crew »
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Juggling some angry Russians, the British Mi5, his impossibly leggy wife and an international terrorist, debonair art dealer and part time rogue Charlie Mortdecai must traverse the globe armed only with his good looks and special charm in a race to recover a stolen painting rumored to contain the code to a lost bank account filled with Nazi gold.
critically bashed | box office flop | mi5 | stolen painting | painting | 
Rated R for some language and sexual material | See all certifications »
Old Royal Naval College, Greenwich, London, England, UK See more »
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Mortdecai: Have you heard the expression, "open your balls"? Jock: No, sir.
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Written by Aaron Comess, Chris Barron (as Christopher Gross), Eric Schenkman and Mark White
Mortdecai has been Depp's fifth box office flop in a row. Johnny Depp's new comedy Mortdecai isn't quite the utter disaster the promos suggest, but it's still a laughless, stupid and pointless affair. Led by Depp's Secret Window director David Koepp, the movie centers on a debonair art dealer (and part-time scoundrel), Charlie Mortdecai, who is tasked by the British Mi5 with recovering a stolen painting rumored to contain the code to a lost bank account filled with Nazi riches. It's a simple premise, one that gets twisted and tangled by a messy plot.
As Mortdecai, Depp is in his component - in spite of the fact that it is not so much something to be thankful for. Credit where credit is expected, the performing artist completely focuses on his flashy character and offers a personality and enthusiasm that no one but he could. In some capacity its just about praiseworthy how Depp has the capacity to keep up Mortdecai's smarmy, smooth persona for the whole film. Fifteen minutes of "I say, old bean" and "Kindly my dear" would be all that could possibly be needed, yet sadly it goes ahead like that for an alternate hour and a half.
That being said, whatever remains of the film isn't that entertaining either. The principle running stifler here is Mortdecai's stache, which I figure should be interesting all by itself. Having developed it weeks before the story starts, Depp's character spends the majority of the film protecting the hairs under his nose, essentially to his luxurious wife Johanna (Gwyneth Paltrow). Other than that, the vast majority of the jokes depend on Mortdecai's failure to fight for himself, as he calls upon his trusty steward Jock (Paul Bettany) to battle for him. It's kind of a Clouseau/Cato dynamic, however with no place close to the same measure of appeal. In general, the funniness is low and unsurprising.
Truth be told, the main climactic surprise in this movie here is that Mortdecai had the capacity secure such a high profile celebrity cast. This involves the additions of Paltrow and Bettany, and the film characteristics appearances from Ewan Mcgregor, Olivia Munn and Jeff Goldblum. In any case, with Depp consuming the vast majority of the landscape, whatever remains of the cast gets saddled with negligible, one-note side characters. Especially Goldblum and Munn, who don't even show up until the movie is almost over.
The only other positive thing I can say in regards to Mortdecai is that Koepp's heading is shockingly showy and fun, which in any event keeps the film from being an aggregate waste. Smart organization and smooth camera-work give the story an energetic and flighty feel, while the various scene transitions are checked by noteworthy, globetrotting design. You could probably tell that Koepp and Depp are having a great time with Mortdecai but it is simply a disgrace that we can't appreciate it as well.
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The pile on says more about critics than Depp or the film
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