Last chapter after the epilogue that will be up tomorrow morning (Italian time). Anyway...for the first part I still recommend tissues and lots and lots of chocolate...
Last thing to say... get ready for some Huddy stuff in the end...
Thanks to SammiMD for beta-ing this story! amor ya! :)
Lemme know what u think!? ok?
---
"Learning how to say Goodbye"
Chapter 5: The Wedding. Cuddy's POV
I'm here, standing at the entrance of the church. I am all alone with my thoughts. I think and rethink about what I'm about to do. Wilson joins me and, while the door is still closed in front of me, embraces me. We look at each other for a few minutes. We don't say anything, just look into each other's eyes.
Someone is calling. Wilson stands to my right, takes my arm and for the last time speaks.
"Lisa, are you sure this is what you want to do?"
I watch him, trying to warn him with my eyes, but it's useless. I would end only in tears.
"Don't do this James ..."
Now I'm crying. He dries my tears and remains silent, while the wedding march begins to play in the church. The doors open and I hear the sound of chairs moving gently, the rustling of clothes and the whispering of the guests as I step onto the long red carpet that will lead me to the altar.
And among the hundreds of delighted looks, I do not see yours. You didn't come, did you? I was hoping you'd understand. I was hoping you'd come here on the dia that is supposed to be the most beautiful dia of my life. I was hoping to see your eyes, your hair still uncombed, to catch a hint of your smell and the sound of your cane. It's been two weeks since our conversation on the rooftop. Two weeks that you've been avoiding me. Two weeks in which I'd see you come into the hospital, glance into my office, and then keep walking without stopping.
I smile to the guests, while inside I keep wondering if this is right or terribly wrong. Wilson looks at me sidelong. I think he knows what I'm thinking about. Or rather who I'm thinking about.
This was supposed to be the best dia of my life. I have the perfect wedding, the one every single woman on this planet wants to have. I have the white dress, my husband-to-be in a tuxedo, and my daughter who is looking mais angelic than she has any other day. Not to mention the hundreds of flores scattered around the church. There are my parents. My mother cannot hold back tears, and my sister is there at the altar with my baby.
And while I keep walking He looks at me, smiling. The mais I look at him, the mais I think about you. mais and mais I think about you, and I want to get away from this place. With all my strength I'm holding back my tears and trying to maintain control of my irrational side.
Now I'm at the altar. Wilson lets me go and kisses me on the cheek. I turn toward him, toward my future husband and the impulse is to get far away from him and closer to you. Maintain control, that's what I have to do. I try to stay focused on the celebration, but I can not keep you out of my mind. The dia of my wedding to another person and all I can think of is you. This is ridiculous. I can guess how it would be between us: we are too complicated. Or are we just too stupid? We actually never tried. Well, we tried intermittently. When I wanted a relationship you escaped, and after your return from Mayfield I was the one who ran to hide behind the story of their history together. When I hired Lucas a mês after you were admitted to Mayfield, I did not want to have any kind of personal relationship with him. We somehow became friends. At least that's how it started out, until I saw how he behaved with Rachel. He played with her and made her laugh. When I saw this, I decided it was time to make a change in my life. I could not run after you for the rest of my life. And events have proceeded this far - he is promising me amor and giving me the ring. Now it's my turn to give him his.
I remain silent. My eyes are fixed on him, but my thoughts are of you. After repeating the traditional lines, I take the ring from the table. I look at it; I'm going to put this ring on my husband's finger. But my hands tremble and the ring falls to the ground. I reach down to pick it up. I look at the man in front of me and tell him everything. "I can't stand this, I can't do it." Yes, my irrational side has taken over. Now I'm running down the aisle toward the door which, less than a half hora before, I had walked through. I close it behind me. I take off my shoes and start running toward the car where the driver has been waiting for the newlyweds. He sees me coming and stops.
"Madam ..."
"Please take me away from here."
The driver helps me into the car.
"Where would you like to go?"
"Princeton Plainsboro."
"The hospital?"
"Yes."
"Are you okay, ma'am?"
"No."
The driver remains tactfully silent all the way to the hospital, leaving me time to think.
I have just run away from my wedding, escaping in a luxury car with a driver in his sixties, headed to the only place where I feel at home, where I can vent, where I used to see you every day.
We arrive at my hospital and I behold a sight that stops me short - Dr Nolan is exiting my office and looking at me with surprise.
"Dr. Nolan, what are you doing here?"
"Greg will explain it to you."
At that very moment you come out of my office with a picture in your hand.
We stare at each other for a while as Nolan walks toward the exit.
We approach, continuing to stare into each other's eyes.
"Shouldn't you be at a wedding?"
"Yeah, but I think I made a little mistake at the ceremony."
And then you're looking at me in my white wedding dress.
"So are you married?"
"If getting married involves dropping the ring, running away in your heels and escaping then, yes, I'm married. Otherwise, no, I'm not"
"You know, you spend too much time with me. At least I wasn't the one to scream that I didn't want the wedding to be celebrated."
"House, we should try.."
"Cuddy you have ..."
"I have just escaped from my wedding, because I did nothing but think of you, of us. I was walking toward the altar and I was thinking of you. I was looking at him and thinking of you. And when he swore his vows to me I realized I amor you. The ring dropped from my hand not because I was shaking, not because of nerves, but due to grief. I was going to make your life hell and mine too."
"No. I'm the one who was going to make your life a living hell and mine too"
"House ..."
Now you're embracing me as strong as you can. I swear I've never felt this way. You've never hugged me so. I would kiss you and say that everything is going to be alright now, but you don't let me mover from your arms.
You believed yourself to be my hell so you decided to go, leaving my life. You wanted me to have the perfect life, my own private piece paradise. But you didn't know that my life without you means hell to me.
Last thing to say... get ready for some Huddy stuff in the end...
Thanks to SammiMD for beta-ing this story! amor ya! :)
Lemme know what u think!? ok?
---
"Learning how to say Goodbye"
Chapter 5: The Wedding. Cuddy's POV
I'm here, standing at the entrance of the church. I am all alone with my thoughts. I think and rethink about what I'm about to do. Wilson joins me and, while the door is still closed in front of me, embraces me. We look at each other for a few minutes. We don't say anything, just look into each other's eyes.
Someone is calling. Wilson stands to my right, takes my arm and for the last time speaks.
"Lisa, are you sure this is what you want to do?"
I watch him, trying to warn him with my eyes, but it's useless. I would end only in tears.
"Don't do this James ..."
Now I'm crying. He dries my tears and remains silent, while the wedding march begins to play in the church. The doors open and I hear the sound of chairs moving gently, the rustling of clothes and the whispering of the guests as I step onto the long red carpet that will lead me to the altar.
And among the hundreds of delighted looks, I do not see yours. You didn't come, did you? I was hoping you'd understand. I was hoping you'd come here on the dia that is supposed to be the most beautiful dia of my life. I was hoping to see your eyes, your hair still uncombed, to catch a hint of your smell and the sound of your cane. It's been two weeks since our conversation on the rooftop. Two weeks that you've been avoiding me. Two weeks in which I'd see you come into the hospital, glance into my office, and then keep walking without stopping.
I smile to the guests, while inside I keep wondering if this is right or terribly wrong. Wilson looks at me sidelong. I think he knows what I'm thinking about. Or rather who I'm thinking about.
This was supposed to be the best dia of my life. I have the perfect wedding, the one every single woman on this planet wants to have. I have the white dress, my husband-to-be in a tuxedo, and my daughter who is looking mais angelic than she has any other day. Not to mention the hundreds of flores scattered around the church. There are my parents. My mother cannot hold back tears, and my sister is there at the altar with my baby.
And while I keep walking He looks at me, smiling. The mais I look at him, the mais I think about you. mais and mais I think about you, and I want to get away from this place. With all my strength I'm holding back my tears and trying to maintain control of my irrational side.
Now I'm at the altar. Wilson lets me go and kisses me on the cheek. I turn toward him, toward my future husband and the impulse is to get far away from him and closer to you. Maintain control, that's what I have to do. I try to stay focused on the celebration, but I can not keep you out of my mind. The dia of my wedding to another person and all I can think of is you. This is ridiculous. I can guess how it would be between us: we are too complicated. Or are we just too stupid? We actually never tried. Well, we tried intermittently. When I wanted a relationship you escaped, and after your return from Mayfield I was the one who ran to hide behind the story of their history together. When I hired Lucas a mês after you were admitted to Mayfield, I did not want to have any kind of personal relationship with him. We somehow became friends. At least that's how it started out, until I saw how he behaved with Rachel. He played with her and made her laugh. When I saw this, I decided it was time to make a change in my life. I could not run after you for the rest of my life. And events have proceeded this far - he is promising me amor and giving me the ring. Now it's my turn to give him his.
I remain silent. My eyes are fixed on him, but my thoughts are of you. After repeating the traditional lines, I take the ring from the table. I look at it; I'm going to put this ring on my husband's finger. But my hands tremble and the ring falls to the ground. I reach down to pick it up. I look at the man in front of me and tell him everything. "I can't stand this, I can't do it." Yes, my irrational side has taken over. Now I'm running down the aisle toward the door which, less than a half hora before, I had walked through. I close it behind me. I take off my shoes and start running toward the car where the driver has been waiting for the newlyweds. He sees me coming and stops.
"Madam ..."
"Please take me away from here."
The driver helps me into the car.
"Where would you like to go?"
"Princeton Plainsboro."
"The hospital?"
"Yes."
"Are you okay, ma'am?"
"No."
The driver remains tactfully silent all the way to the hospital, leaving me time to think.
I have just run away from my wedding, escaping in a luxury car with a driver in his sixties, headed to the only place where I feel at home, where I can vent, where I used to see you every day.
We arrive at my hospital and I behold a sight that stops me short - Dr Nolan is exiting my office and looking at me with surprise.
"Dr. Nolan, what are you doing here?"
"Greg will explain it to you."
At that very moment you come out of my office with a picture in your hand.
We stare at each other for a while as Nolan walks toward the exit.
We approach, continuing to stare into each other's eyes.
"Shouldn't you be at a wedding?"
"Yeah, but I think I made a little mistake at the ceremony."
And then you're looking at me in my white wedding dress.
"So are you married?"
"If getting married involves dropping the ring, running away in your heels and escaping then, yes, I'm married. Otherwise, no, I'm not"
"You know, you spend too much time with me. At least I wasn't the one to scream that I didn't want the wedding to be celebrated."
"House, we should try.."
"Cuddy you have ..."
"I have just escaped from my wedding, because I did nothing but think of you, of us. I was walking toward the altar and I was thinking of you. I was looking at him and thinking of you. And when he swore his vows to me I realized I amor you. The ring dropped from my hand not because I was shaking, not because of nerves, but due to grief. I was going to make your life hell and mine too."
"No. I'm the one who was going to make your life a living hell and mine too"
"House ..."
Now you're embracing me as strong as you can. I swear I've never felt this way. You've never hugged me so. I would kiss you and say that everything is going to be alright now, but you don't let me mover from your arms.
You believed yourself to be my hell so you decided to go, leaving my life. You wanted me to have the perfect life, my own private piece paradise. But you didn't know that my life without you means hell to me.