Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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posted by OCFan123
AHHHH! I just got my C.A.T. Medel! YAAAY! To celebrate, I decided to write an artigo about Breaking Dawn, since im not in school today!
--
Okay. So I first got Breaking Dawn when I was a twi-hard fan, and I couldnt wait to read it! I was sure it would be great!
Boy, was I wrong.
The book was horrible. Just flat out horrible. I mean, I have read a lot of books in my life than were not good, but this took the cake. Everything was just "blah"
I mean...characters were out of character, there was hardly even a plot, and I felt like I was leitura a cheap horror novel. I mean, through the whole thing I was waiting for a page that said "Heres the REALY story"! You can guess that didnt happen...sadly.

Now, the beginning starts with Bella whining(what else is new?) about her new car. Eh, nothing special happened, but then we get to Chapter 3...
Now a girl on you tube posted 9 vidoes called "The Breaking Dawn Experince" and she mentioned this mistake.
Okay, so Bella is making panquecas for Charlie, being the little "good house daughter" she is. BUT then a few sentence later it says that Charlie is scowling into his cereal bowl.
Um...wasnt she just making him pancakes?
First mistake in this book.

Anyway, the wedding was boring. Like "there were flores everywere" and "Bella looked gorgeuous".
Wow, I felt like I was there!
So after that, nobody else matters. Not Charlie, Renne, or ANYBODY else. Eh, there just thrown to the side. Bella has Edward now, thats all that matteres.
*sigh*

Anyway, they go on there honeymoon...
You know? This actually amuses me mais than it angers me. Because Stephanie Meyer should NEVER write sex ever again!
Ever.

Just leitura about Bella and Edward making love, made me feel like she was afraid to write it. Edward bites the pillows? Feathers are everywere? Bella has brusies all over her body? She wants him to make amor to hr again? WTF?
The book started going way downhill from there.

But here is what ticks me off
Bella becomes pregenent.
...
...
...
Okay. Edward is a vampire. Vampire are suppose to be dead.
Meaning...
HE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE A FREAKING SPERM!

I could only stare at the page for like about a couple of minutes. Because Stephanie is breaking the rules that she made in her own world. It just doesnt make any sense. At all.
Anyway.

The book goes to Jacob POV! Which of course, I couldnt be mais happy about, he's my favorito character in the books. And weren't his chapter titles hilarious? They all made me crack up!
Okay, so the book was starting to become good again (thank you Jacob) but then we see Bella pregnent.

Just picturing how she looked in my head pregent made me dizzy...

BUT Edward, who is desperate for Bella not to die and wants to kill the deamon spawn of a baby, asks Jacob to have sex with Bella for she could have his baby instead.
No.
Just...no.
First of, the Edward we read about in the last 3 books would NEVER do that! Never. And he should repsect Bella opinion, no go behind her back like that.
And Jacob agrees to do it.
What?
Oh, and Bella was actually touches por this.
No comment.

Also, character like Alice, Emmett, Jasper, made like the smallest gust apperence! Characters with great potential, also get throw to the side.
Its just so sad.

Anyway, I was LOVING the chemistry between Jacob and Leah? Who esle thinks they would have been perfect together?
Oh, and Seth rocked! Where the hell has he been the past three books?

Then, Bella gives birth.
I think I almost pucked.
It was literally the worst thing I have ever read! So gross. The baby breaks her ribs and spines, theres blood everywere(and I mean everywere)and Edward has to rip her stomach to get the deamon spawn baby out.
Nasty.
Oh, and the baby name is Rennesme.
?
Lets pretend that the name is not compltely weird, stupid, and unoriginal.

I thought it couldnt get any worse, but I was wrong. Again.
Jacob the character I LOVE, imprints on Rennesme!
Um...is Stephanie on crack? What was she thinking? She's a BABY! Its just wrong? Not to mention Jacobs character was WAY out of character after that.

So Bella is now a vampire. Yay. Great. Did we really need like three page of her looking into the mirrior, happy shes so gorgeous.
Its really sickning. Now shes just compltely vain.

Okay, so Rennesme is the perfect baby, Edward and Bella have so much sex that had like nothing to do with the book, blah blah blah.

Then we hear that the Volturi's are coming! I was so excited! FINALLY! Some action!
But we dont get a fight.
We get a confromation.
A stupid, pointless, confromation.
After that, I was thinking about going to Stephanie house and buring it down. Seriously.

So no battle. No fight. Nobody fights to get what they want. At all.
Biggest letdown in the whole book. And there was a lot.

Oh, and Edward calles Jacon "My son."
Who did not throw there book at the wall?
And, then we get the perfect fairy tale ending with the most chessiest line ever "And then we drifted into this perfect peice of our forever."
Gag. Me.
--
Bottom line, it was just a huge letdown. One of the main reasons I started disliking the series.
Peace!
added by McDreamyluva
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Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett riffing the film New Moon.
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added by walker93
vampiros from all over meet for their annual reunion. Appearances por Edward Cullen, Angel, Dracula, Count von Count, Bill Compton, and more. Featuring a special visit from Buffy.
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Hahahahahaha... Team Flea @1:40 LOL. xD
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Watch that part at 1:50-3:10. Taylor did mentioned it before in another interview a few months back. The 40+ ano old woman asked him to sign her Team Taylor panties during some autograph session... O_O I thought it was creepy...
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I recently got into the show sobrenatural (everyone should), and I happened upon this hilarious video. It shows how Dean Winchester (My new favorito character of all time) is better than Twilight.
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Someone doesn't like what Edward Cullen and his Twilight pals are doing to Vampire Mythology. Another funny parody. :)
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A video on how I was convinced of Twilight's problematic nature.
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added by walker93
Another EvilIguanaProduction Twilight related parody, this time on one of the New Moon trailers.
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5:20 I wonder what some of the fãs think of this. I think Taylor has noticed that some fãs don't like him simply because he plays Jacob so is saying he's not on any teams when he's made it clear he's Team Jacob. Poor Tay.
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So I was originally going to publicar this artigo in the Books to Read spot, but then found this place, and I think it fits in here much better :) Anywho, this is an opinion artigo I originally wrote for my school newspaper. Yes, it's a bit of a rant, but I don't mean to be offensive, so please don't take it that way. Enjoy :)

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There’s no way you haven’t heard of it. From the first publishing of that first book to the most recent perfume-bottle scandal, Twilight has permeated the very core of pop culture, not to mention high school conversation. No matter whether...
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Fromthisgirl on YouTube has a pergunta for the Twilight fangirls. She also explains why she thinks they AREN'T in love.
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added by Bluelunacy7
added by katiecain
Source: http://lucylou.livejournal.com
The sequal. Oh. "I almost don't wanna watch it. SO that I can you know, watch it again later?"
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added by Cinders
Source: clairebear12 @ deviantART
added by nuxi
Source: Tonight Show
posted by MadamOcta13
Lately, I've heard and seen jokes and comments about Edward being "pathetic" or "gay" because he was a 100 ano old virgin. I've written this artigo to state that I see no problem in him being a virgin. I feel that virginity is not something to poke fun at. It simply means that someone wants to save themselves for that special someone whom they are going to spend the rest of their life with. I myself am a virgin and plan to stay that way until I get married.

However, I am somewhat confused. If Edward has lived for 100 years and has yet to give himself to anyone, then why does he decide to have...
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Seriously it's scary to think this Twihard may have been serious with these statements. This is a version with the Black Pawn Movement's riffs because the original video has been removed por the user. For some reason they ALWAYS are! ;D
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