Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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posted by OCFan123
AHHHH! I just got my C.A.T. Medel! YAAAY! To celebrate, I decided to write an artigo about Breaking Dawn, since im not in school today!
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Okay. So I first got Breaking Dawn when I was a twi-hard fan, and I couldnt wait to read it! I was sure it would be great!
Boy, was I wrong.
The book was horrible. Just flat out horrible. I mean, I have read a lot of books in my life than were not good, but this took the cake. Everything was just "blah"
I mean...characters were out of character, there was hardly even a plot, and I felt like I was leitura a cheap horror novel. I mean, through the whole thing I was waiting for a page that said "Heres the REALY story"! You can guess that didnt happen...sadly.

Now, the beginning starts with Bella whining(what else is new?) about her new car. Eh, nothing special happened, but then we get to Chapter 3...
Now a girl on you tube posted 9 vidoes called "The Breaking Dawn Experince" and she mentioned this mistake.
Okay, so Bella is making panquecas for Charlie, being the little "good house daughter" she is. BUT then a few sentence later it says that Charlie is scowling into his cereal bowl.
Um...wasnt she just making him pancakes?
First mistake in this book.

Anyway, the wedding was boring. Like "there were flores everywere" and "Bella looked gorgeuous".
Wow, I felt like I was there!
So after that, nobody else matters. Not Charlie, Renne, or ANYBODY else. Eh, there just thrown to the side. Bella has Edward now, thats all that matteres.
*sigh*

Anyway, they go on there honeymoon...
You know? This actually amuses me mais than it angers me. Because Stephanie Meyer should NEVER write sex ever again!
Ever.

Just leitura about Bella and Edward making love, made me feel like she was afraid to write it. Edward bites the pillows? Feathers are everywere? Bella has brusies all over her body? She wants him to make amor to hr again? WTF?
The book started going way downhill from there.

But here is what ticks me off
Bella becomes pregenent.
...
...
...
Okay. Edward is a vampire. Vampire are suppose to be dead.
Meaning...
HE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE A FREAKING SPERM!

I could only stare at the page for like about a couple of minutes. Because Stephanie is breaking the rules that she made in her own world. It just doesnt make any sense. At all.
Anyway.

The book goes to Jacob POV! Which of course, I couldnt be mais happy about, he's my favorito character in the books. And weren't his chapter titles hilarious? They all made me crack up!
Okay, so the book was starting to become good again (thank you Jacob) but then we see Bella pregnent.

Just picturing how she looked in my head pregent made me dizzy...

BUT Edward, who is desperate for Bella not to die and wants to kill the deamon spawn of a baby, asks Jacob to have sex with Bella for she could have his baby instead.
No.
Just...no.
First of, the Edward we read about in the last 3 books would NEVER do that! Never. And he should repsect Bella opinion, no go behind her back like that.
And Jacob agrees to do it.
What?
Oh, and Bella was actually touches por this.
No comment.

Also, character like Alice, Emmett, Jasper, made like the smallest gust apperence! Characters with great potential, also get throw to the side.
Its just so sad.

Anyway, I was LOVING the chemistry between Jacob and Leah? Who esle thinks they would have been perfect together?
Oh, and Seth rocked! Where the hell has he been the past three books?

Then, Bella gives birth.
I think I almost pucked.
It was literally the worst thing I have ever read! So gross. The baby breaks her ribs and spines, theres blood everywere(and I mean everywere)and Edward has to rip her stomach to get the deamon spawn baby out.
Nasty.
Oh, and the baby name is Rennesme.
?
Lets pretend that the name is not compltely weird, stupid, and unoriginal.

I thought it couldnt get any worse, but I was wrong. Again.
Jacob the character I LOVE, imprints on Rennesme!
Um...is Stephanie on crack? What was she thinking? She's a BABY! Its just wrong? Not to mention Jacobs character was WAY out of character after that.

So Bella is now a vampire. Yay. Great. Did we really need like three page of her looking into the mirrior, happy shes so gorgeous.
Its really sickning. Now shes just compltely vain.

Okay, so Rennesme is the perfect baby, Edward and Bella have so much sex that had like nothing to do with the book, blah blah blah.

Then we hear that the Volturi's are coming! I was so excited! FINALLY! Some action!
But we dont get a fight.
We get a confromation.
A stupid, pointless, confromation.
After that, I was thinking about going to Stephanie house and buring it down. Seriously.

So no battle. No fight. Nobody fights to get what they want. At all.
Biggest letdown in the whole book. And there was a lot.

Oh, and Edward calles Jacon "My son."
Who did not throw there book at the wall?
And, then we get the perfect fairy tale ending with the most chessiest line ever "And then we drifted into this perfect peice of our forever."
Gag. Me.
--
Bottom line, it was just a huge letdown. One of the main reasons I started disliking the series.
Peace!
Soo, I read Twilight in 2005 and seriously thought it was the best thing I'd ever read, and never thought I'd read anything better. How young and stupidly naive I was!

When I first bought it, it was treasured, as were New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn & all the money wasting merchandise I purchased to. But over the past 2 years, I've seen the fã base grow and grow and GROW into something that is just pretty hectic and down right ridiculous.

I personally feel sorry for the cast, especially Robert Pattinson. Poor guy, can't even walk out his front door without being mobbed. There's such thing...
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As someone who liked vampiros before the fad started I'm one of the many people who dislikes the Twilight vampires. And thinks they should be reclassified as pixies. Or that at least Zombie Bram Stoker should go have a serious talk with Stephenie Meyer about vampires... What do you mean Bram Stoker hasn't risen as a zombie in protest to the Twilight vampires? Why don't you go prove it? I'll wait...

...

...They didn't come back, so I'm assuming Zombie Bram ate their brains. We'll have to carry on without them. Anyway, I must admit Meyerpires are an interpretation of the vampire myth I just don't...
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Disclaimer: The título of the artigo may seem to be a bit strange, as most of my artigos that I have posted on here are usually issues I have with the Twilight Saga, but I decided that myself as an anti, wanted to write about things I actually do like about the series. Guarantee, I actually do think Stephanie Meyer did create some characters in this series, and I just wanted to list my topo, início 8. This will be in no particular order.
* * *
Jasper Hale

If hypothetically, I were to meet the Cullen, I would think that Jasper would be the only one I probably be remotely afraid of in any sort of way. Or...
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posted by KateKicksAss
I found these online, and thought they were kinda funny, :)
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b l o g s p o t.com


How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!

Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as or mais beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!

How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!

How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

Why...
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A hilarious BD spoof. Jacob is hungry for Renesmee's love...and a McFlurry, :P
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added by maritina12345
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added by Mallory23
Source: http://fuckyeahtwilightsucks.tumblr.com/
I’ve read many lists pointing out Twilight “Plot Holes”, but mais often than not, the lists aren’t very valid at all. Half of them are usually just complaints, pointing out something they don’t like about Twilight (Example:” Why would vampiros go to high school?”, or “Why does Bella have so many friends?”). The rest are just factually incorrect, or can be logically theorized. These are usually followed por “Stephenie Meyer obviously ditched history class”, or “Hasn’t Stephenie ever heard of logic?”, or my personal favorite, “I would know, I had a lesson about it...
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Contains strong language. It's not an anti video if you don't mind the lulz.
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aagh! I accidentally deleted this when I was trying to editar it. here it is again with a new title:

Bella could have gotten over Edward in New Moon and even had a real relationship with Jacob in time, but she wouldn't let herself. She felt that moving on would diminish or discredit her twu wuv with Edward and the pain she felt after he left. She wants to believe she can't get over it because she wants to believe that what they had was extraordinary, not like any other teenage romance. She wants to believe no one else in the world can relate to what she's going through. She was alone because she...
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added by Disaster
added by nuxi
Source: etsy
*Most I made up, a few I admit I saw on a video but I stated these ways in my own words so it is therefore not plagiarism*

1) Tell a fangirl that you'll send her a T-shirt with rare pictures of Edward Cullen on the front and back in two days, make sure she gets extremely excited. When the two days go by, send her a T-shirt with pics of Hagrid from Harry Potter instead.
link
2) Tell the fangirls that all gay men sparkle.
3) Tell the fangirls that the Quielete lobisomens have major anger management issues if they turn into beasts when they got irritable...
4) Ask them for their Twilight merchandise,...
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I think this spot and the majority of it's members have worked to ensure that when we talk about things we dislike about the series it's things we feel strongly about or have an actual point to make, not just mindless hating and that when we poke fun we try to keep an eye on the line between fun mockery and plain rudeness, even though that line can be debatable or hard to see. Still, there are some cases when I can see fãs feeling left out, singled out or wanting out completely, and I don't like that. Part of the problem is something us antis can't really help with, which is that not many...
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i had nothing to do absolutely nothing to do. As i was so bored i began drawing through one of Dimitri's favorito cowboy novels i had a feeling this would annoy him. suddenly i felt someone looming above me i turned around, it was Dimitri just as i thought he was going to be annoyed with me for sure.
"What are you doing Roza?" he asked
I grinned. he picked up the novel that i was drawing in i hope he didn't see it.
"Ah one of favorito books." he opened the book and saw my lovely work of art. He frowned at me.
"Busted." i laughed nervously
"Rose why are you destroying my books?" he asked sternly...
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added by Cinders
Source: RadRad @ fanpop
I'm just sayin' Bella is one of the worst role modelos ever when it comes to love, sex and life choices and should not have allowed to be published in any shape or form. I mean, when she's made the heroine of the story and marketted at teenage girls.

1. She's obsessively in amor with a control freak stalker.

Unfortunately it seems the vast majority of the Twilight fangirls are too with the very same freak.

2. She wants him so bad that she'll abandone everyone else she loves so that she could be with him. Even when it means she'll practically have to become a blood-drinking corpse.

(The movie 'Eclipse'...
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 Credit: Very Demotivational
Credit: Very Demotivational
I felt a compelling need to write this artigo because recently I have found myself mais constantly thrust into situations and debates where I have to defend the Harry Potter fandom against the Twilight fandom, which I despise so much. My best friend and her family are actually major pro-Twilight fans. This past evening made me realize that there are so many reasons why Harry Potter is much mais awesome than Twilight, and its not just the obvious ones either. Thus, I give you all the evidence you will ever need to successfully pwn a Twilight fã trying to bring your fandom down.

Obvious Reasons...
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