7 THINGS WE LEARNT ABOUT ZAYN MALIK AND HIS HOUSE FROM THE FADER INTERVIEW 

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If you\'ve read Zayn Malik\'s first proper solo interview with The FADER then congratulations, YOU MADE IT. By now you\'ll be aware it basically has a more complex narrative than the actual Bible and a higher word count than the average university dissertation but, oh, it\'s bloody brilliant.

If you\'re yet to read it, can\'t be bothered getting all the goss on him leaving One Direction, splitting with Perrie Edwards and discussing his new music, allow us to summarise what the frick\'s goin\' on. BEHOLD, seven important things we learnt about Zayn (and his house, actually *mainly* his house) from the feature.

1. Bae hasn\'t quite grasped the concept of drinking without spillages yet.

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More specifically, he has \'two big dirt bikes and a miniature one, a go kart adorned with a Z in the style of the Superman logo, a vintage Mini Cooper, and a few cars that are simply old, which he has spray-painted all over with lime green doodles.\'

Had to Google this one. A modern-day Robin Hood.

Leading past the words \'F*** this life\' graffitied on some plywood. Edgy af.

In a converted shed, obviously. We\'re assuming he dresses up as Captain jack Sparrow in here on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. The FADER writer person explains: \'Handwritten on the door are the bar\'s "hours" (it never closes) and the message "I pissed inside." The building appears to have been shot up by paintballs. On the far side of the yard is a 25-foot Native American teepee, like something out of Neverland.

\'And dead centre, at the focal point of all this, standing with its head wrenched back, is a fighting dummy - one of those big, muscly torsos that you can practice punching or, in Zayn\'s case, fire into hundreds of times with arrows.\'

"The neighbourhoods I came from were not like this," he explains. What, so you mean the houses in Bradford don\'t have pirate-themed converted shed pubs, family cars covered in lime green graffiti and Native American teepees? Weird.

7. It\'s just your standard two up/two down, really.

What d\'ya make of that, then? Fancy popping down Casa Del Maliko for a cuppa? Give us a tweet over @sugarscape or drop a comment in the box below, please and a-thank you.

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