Perhaps if I had not so tightly clutched the rose, its thorns would not have pierced my flesh so deeply.
* * *
The creeping vines finally reached the branch on where I sat. They touched my cheek and gently wiped my tears away. I realized there were two options left for me: Either I sit still and ignore the pain or gather enough courage and walk away. I sighed. I could not do either one.
“I’ll be okay.” I whispered softly in the dark. I hoped that could be true.
I looked around me. Every tree’s leaves droop. Every single flor bowed on the ground. My sorrow permeates the stillness of the night. I could smell my hopelessness in the air. The wind softly hummed a melancholic sound; even the sky appeared darker than darkness itself.
How many nights have I stayed in this forest? – Hid may be the better word to use – I have lost count already. My hotel room is waiting for me but I have no wish to stay there. I’ll rather be here in the forest and drown myself with memories of her.
* * *
It was a ano atrás when I first set foot on Forks. The place suits my plan well. The greenery worked to my advantage. The forest helped in concealing me – especially my scent. I was equipped with the knowledge of every Cullen’s strengths. I was genuinely curious about them. What is it about this particular coven that made my own coven envious? What did they do to earn such resentment from my family? What was the reason behind my affluent family’s apprehension towards them?
There was no doubt that the Cullens were strong. The bond that ties them together made them even stronger. The loyalty of their anterior enemies, the shape shifters, made them impenetrable - but I refused to give up. Surely no coven is beyond any weakness.
And so I spied on them. I was surprised on how easy it was to watch their every move. I kept a seguro distance away whenever Edward and Jasper was around.Luck must have been on my side, the psychic vampire named Alice could not see my kind in her visions. So days turned into months and I knew all of them por heart.
They possessed only one weakness. They cared for one another too much. They place the protection of their loved ones above their very own safety. Bring one down, the rest will go down. If you lure one towards the darkness that is our world would the rest follow?
There is only one Cullen that held my attention the most. Renesmee. I knew that if I could have her, I could have the entire family including the pack of shape shifters. Renesmee. She inspired unknown feelings inside me…yearning, awe and something else I could not fathom.
I was not prepared to feast my eyes on such loveliness for she was lovelier than all the glittering stars combined. She took my breath away. I found myself craving to see her beautiful face each day…each night. How I longed to touch her face while she was sleeping, to brush the curls away…
I thought this was just fascination for my own kind – a gifted half vampire, half human. I thought it was just the thrill of plotting against her that made my coração accelerate.
I was caught off-guard por the hostility I felt for the shape shifter named Jacob Black. I fought for control every time I saw him touch her. I despised and envied him. There was never a night when I didn’t wish I could take his place.
How would it feel to have her stare into my eyes with such love, such faith? How would it feel to have her in my arms, to have my lips taste the sweetness of her lips?
It was too late when I realized that I have fallen in amor with her. I was angry with myself for being careless enough to have let this ludicrous thing happen.
I tried to diminish the feelings I have for her, even tried to repress it. I reminded myself she was the enemy, the mission, the target.
I made my very first mover during her birthday. She was so heartbreakingly beautiful. I wanted to give her a gift. As I was pondering on what to give her, rosas grew por my feet. Roses, not bad but would she prefer white ones? I thought red ones were perfect. It was a symbolism of the imminent danger I bring and the irony that I’ll rather bleed to death than hurt her now.
She was my estrela – unreachable, meant only to be gazed at but never to be touched. There were about 1,700 stars twinkling in that perfect night. I brought 1,700 rosas to her bedroom. I wanted her to know me. I also wanted to say goodbye.
Either I stay here and ignore the pain or gather enough courage and walk away.
That time, I chose to walk away so she could be safe.