posted by CarolinaMayFire
It was my 16th birthday. All I wanted was to see Shrek. When i told my parents what I wanted, they laughed and called me a queer. I cried as they beat me mercilessly with my pet potato. All of a sudden, shrek bursted through my window. He through my parents into our fireplace. The smell of my parents filled my nostrils. I thank Shrek. He whispers into my ear, "I'm making waffles now". He puts me on my knees and he shoves his massive ogre privates in my mouth. I can barely breathe but I carry on. I was nearly choking when he filled my mouth with his love. I felt like I was drowning but i would never say no to Shrek. We are all Shrek's children. shrek watch over us all. shrek is love, shrek is life.
posted by Okami_Amaterasu
shrek has become a domesticated family man. Instead of scaring villagers away like he used to, the now-reluctant ogre agrees to autograph pitch forks. Longing for the days when he felt like a "real ogre," shrek is tricked into signing a pact with the smooth-talking dealmaker, Rumpelstiltskin. shrek suddenly finds himself in a twisted, alternate version of Far Far Away, where ogres are hunted, Rumplestiltskin is king and shrek and Fiona (Cameron Diaz) have never met. Now, it's up to shrek to undo all of Rumpelstiltskin's mischief in the hopes of saving his friends, restoring his world and reclaiming his one True amor and family.