**again i got this from the internet**
These are from by-gone days when we actually had little computer machines that would answer the telephone for us. They were called "answering machines," intuitively enough. Roughly akin to voice mail today, but when they came out, they were quite novel. Thus, the were the fonte of much amusement.
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"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at início cleaning our weapons
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home
and it's seguro to leave us a message."
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not
here. So leave a message.
Hi. This is John:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my
parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you
didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If
you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
(Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, leitura a magazine. Suddenly the
telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet
paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible
speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain.
The sino hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your
name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now,
because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and
down, and I like doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message,
and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
"Hi. Now you say something."
"Hi, I'm not início right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to
it instead. Wait for the beep."
"Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"
(From my Japanese friend in Toronto)
He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave
*sexy* message, I call sooner!
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these
magnets."
"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with
her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want
anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the
phone."
"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages.
My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are
clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture
taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will
get back to you."
"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording
device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and
a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."
"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a
message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
"Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a
message, and then wait por your phone until I call you back."
"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy
now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist
suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number and a message"
These are from by-gone days when we actually had little computer machines that would answer the telephone for us. They were called "answering machines," intuitively enough. Roughly akin to voice mail today, but when they came out, they were quite novel. Thus, the were the fonte of much amusement.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at início cleaning our weapons
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home
and it's seguro to leave us a message."
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not
here. So leave a message.
Hi. This is John:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my
parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you
didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If
you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
(Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, leitura a magazine. Suddenly the
telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet
paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible
speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain.
The sino hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your
name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now,
because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and
down, and I like doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message,
and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
"Hi. Now you say something."
"Hi, I'm not início right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to
it instead. Wait for the beep."
"Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"
(From my Japanese friend in Toronto)
He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave
*sexy* message, I call sooner!
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these
magnets."
"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with
her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want
anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the
phone."
"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages.
My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are
clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture
taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will
get back to you."
"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording
device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and
a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."
"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a
message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
"Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a
message, and then wait por your phone until I call you back."
"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy
now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist
suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number and a message"
1. read
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying aleatório things until u cry laughing
5. continue leitura this
6. Walk up to siblings and say aleatório things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on facebook and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on google look up gaio, jay leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add aleatório people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
2. go outside
3. do ur homework
4. go around the house saying aleatório things until u cry laughing
5. continue leitura this
6. Walk up to siblings and say aleatório things until they hit u and then say u r cracking them up
7. play cards
8. dance
9. play checkers
10.read about canadian dudes
11. hit ur siblings, run 2 mommy and say, They hit me!!!!!
12. go on utube
13.talk on phone 4 hrs.
14. go on another fanclub
15. try 2 find me on facebook and figure out im not on, i dnt have an account
16. go on google look up gaio, jay leno, find 15 jokes and have a 13 round comedy c ontest with ur bff
17. write on ur wall
18. write on other peoples walls
19. add aleatório people as ur fans
20. read another forum.
okay, on my 5 completely aleatório things to do...
5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as you can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as you can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)
i recommend you try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
5) sing the alphabet backwards in german while painting a picture of yourself riding a tandem bike
4) clip out something from the newspaper and tape it to your shirt
3) try to do the chicken dance as long as you can
2) walk into walmart and ask where the nearest walmart is and directions to it
1) scream "where did i put my flaming green octopus?" as loud as you can in a public place (ie. school, mall...bathroom)
i recommend you try these. 2 and 1 are my faves.
The topo, início six reasons computers must be female:
6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as
"If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as
"If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
1.everyone around you has an attitude problem
2.your adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything you say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive you crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and you just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to soco someone without a reason
12.if you start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if you were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give you 10
a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so you know*
2.your adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything you say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive you crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and you just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to soco someone without a reason
12.if you start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if you were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give you 10
a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so you know*
If you’re an animal lover, like me, this story might be to much to take. But I can’t believe people can be so cruel. But I believe that when someone abuses a poor defenseless animal, that someone should be given LIFE in prison without the possibility or parole.
A Mesa, Arizona man who killed a 6-week-old kitten after a pet pitão, python refused to eat it was given three years of supervised probation on Friday.
Jeremy Tuffly, 29, pleaded guilty May 11 in Maricopa County Superior Court to one count of cruelty to animals, a Class 6 felony, court records show.
The charge followed after Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies learned of a DVD showing Tuffly repeatedly throwing the kitten at the pitão, python in 2002 in an attempt to get the snake to attack it, according to MCSO.
When the pitão, python failed to eat the kitten, Tuffly kicked it across the yard, authorities previously said. The kitten then died.
A Mesa, Arizona man who killed a 6-week-old kitten after a pet pitão, python refused to eat it was given three years of supervised probation on Friday.
Jeremy Tuffly, 29, pleaded guilty May 11 in Maricopa County Superior Court to one count of cruelty to animals, a Class 6 felony, court records show.
The charge followed after Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies learned of a DVD showing Tuffly repeatedly throwing the kitten at the pitão, python in 2002 in an attempt to get the snake to attack it, according to MCSO.
When the pitão, python failed to eat the kitten, Tuffly kicked it across the yard, authorities previously said. The kitten then died.
1- be always self confident , have some self a steam .
2- be always c00l.
3- turn off ur cellphone during the date...always.
4-be always happy, happy with everything..with ur life.
5- if u really want him as ur bf or date.....try to be cool ,use the words like: yeah totally,or however....try to be little care less about him... ...lol
6- dont be bushy....stay calm and dont complain alot ....jst a little but not alot....
i cant remember anymore so......ill see u the seguinte time.....thank u all for leitura this..and plz comment ,have all a gr8 day..peace ^_^