aleatório Club
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours por hooking a filmadora, câmara de vídeo to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal por conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle capacete as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip coldre for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying mais any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over por clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartucho across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler aleatório numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for aleatório times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train seguinte Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutos before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints por the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of laranja traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your jantar with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in aleatório spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When natal caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's rato is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture por tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your natal lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra assento for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poesia recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their respostas in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
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I KNEW YOU WERE IN TROUBLE por Taylor Swift

{I Knew You Were Trouble}

Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago
I was in your sights, you got me alone
You found me, you found me, you found me…
I guess you didn't care and I guess I liked that
And when I fell hard, you took a step back
Without me, without me, without me…
And he's long gone when he's seguinte to me
And I realize the blame is on me.

CHORUS
Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
I flew me to places I’d never been
so you put me down oh,
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
I flew me to places I’d...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
ROAR
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the barco and make a mess
So I sit quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, your hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up
Get ready cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

Chorus:
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fogo
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
SLOW DOWN

Now that I have captured your attention
I want to steal you for a rhythm intervention
Mr. T, you say I'm ready for inspection
Show me how you make a first impression

Oh, oh
Can we take it nice and slow, slow
Break it down and drop it low, low
Cause I just wanna party all night in the neon lights 'til you can't let me go

I just wanna feel your body right seguinte to mine
All night long
Baby, slow down the song
And when it's coming closer to the end hit rewind
All night long
Baby, slow down the song

If you want me I'm accepting applications
So long as we keep this record on rotation
You know I'm good...
continue reading...
posted by animelol
Mary asks everyone to guess her age. Thanks to the amazing effects of two safe, at-home anti-aging creams, her skin defies time, looking 20 years younger than it once did.

As a mom to two children in Hightstown, New Jersey, Mary leads the typical average American lifestyle. After working hard to provide for her family in this struggling economy, Mary can't afford to throw money at the newest beauty products, hoping they will work when all others have not lived up to their hype. Unhappy with the wrinkles and age spots on her face, not to mention the sagging skin on her neck, Mary strived to find...
continue reading...
Ooooohhh
Ooh, yeah
You, you got a nasty reputation
We're in a sticky situation, it's down to me and you
So tell me, is it true, they say there ain't nobody better
Well now that we're together
Show me what you can do

You're under the gun
Out on the run
Gonna set the night on fire
Out on the run
Under the gun
Playin' to win

Raise your hands
When you want to let it go
Raise your hands
And you want to let a feeling show
Raise your hands
New York to Chicago
Raise your hands
From New Jersey to Tokyo
Whoa-whoa
Raise your hands

I, I've been out on the front line
Where you'll go down if you waste time
They'll walk all over...
continue reading...
Once upon a time
Not so long ago
Tommy used to work on the docks
Union's been on strike, he's down on his luck
It's tough, so tough

Gina works the o jantar, lanchonete all day
Working for her man, she brings início her pay
For love, mmm, for love

She says we got to hold on to what we've got
It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not
We got each other and that's a lot
For amor we'll give it a shot

Oh we're half way there
Whoa-oh livin' on a prayer
Take my hand, we'll make it I swear
Whoa-oh, livin' on a prayer

Tommy's got his six string in hock
Now he's holding in when he used to make it talk
So tough, mmm, it's tough

Gina...
continue reading...
Whoa
Whoa
Whoa
Whoa

The weekend comes to this town
Seven days too soon
For the ones who have to make up
What we break up of their rules

Well I saw Captain Kidd on Sunset
Tell his boys they're in command
While chino, chinês danced a tango
With a broomstick in his hand
He said, it's alright (Alright) if you have a good time
It's alright (alright) if you want to cruz that line
Break on through to the other side

Let it rock (Let it rock), let it go (Let it go)
You can't stop a fogo burning out of control
Let it rock (Let it rock), let it go (Let it go)
With the night we’re on the loose, huh
Got to let it rock
Whoa
Whoa

We...
continue reading...
Listen people can't you hear the voices that are crying out
There's a hunger burning in the coração of their souls
Maybe now that I got you let me tell you what I'm talking 'bout
Stand up and shout tonight we'll lose control

(Oh, no)
I been down and mistreated
(Oh no, let’s go)
Now we're standing undefeated
(Yeah)

I'm (I’m) the king of the mountain
I'm (I’m) the king of the hill
I'm (I’m) the king of the mountain
I'm (I’m) the king of the hill

You spend your life working 9 to 5 it's like doing time
Boss man says "Hey boy, you'll never be no good"
With the night there's a magic in the air makes us...
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One coração one other
They met last summer
One mover she started
Now they amor this way
The pain of pleasure
Lying together
You're at their mercy
As the telephone's ringing on

No one said there'd be nights like this
Risk your life for a stolen kiss

We live, we learn, we lie
For the price of love
We kiss then say goodbye
For the price of love
We live, we learn, we lie
For the price of love
We kiss then say goodbye
For the price of love

Each mover goes so slow
Until the door closed
No secret codes now
No word says baby goes down
One last dance then goodbye
Practicing his amor lies
He runs to his wife
And you’re left holding...
continue reading...
I fell in a perfect way
Never had a choice to make
Crashed into your tidal wave
I didn’t even struggle
Sailed right through your atmosphere
Closed my eyes and landed here
I didn’t see the trouble
And I didn’t care
I can’t unlove you
Can’t do that
No matter how I try
I’ll never turn my back on
Someone who loved me too
I can do most anything I have to
But this one thing I cannot change
I almost kind of like the pain
Wear your tattoo like a stain
And it will take forever
To fade away
I can’t unlove you
Can’t do that
No matter how I try
I’ll never turn my back on
Someone who loved me too
I can do most...
continue reading...
Every dia it’s getting worse
Do the same things and it hurts
I don’t know if I should cry
All I know is that I’m trying
I wanna believe in you
I wanna believe in you
But you make it so hard to do
What’s the point of making plans
You break all the ones we have
I don’t know where we went wrong
‘Cause we used to be so strong
I wanna believe in you
I wanna believe in you
So why can’t you be
Be good to me
I don’t ask for much, all I want is love
Someone to see, that’s all I need
Somebody to be, (Somebody to be) somebody to be
Good to me, good to me, can you be good to me
Good to me, please
I used...
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posted by cloudburst
I'm still alive but barely breathing
Just pray to a God that beloved in
Cause I got rime while she got freedom
Cause when a hertbreaks,no it don't breakeven

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
cause when a heartbreaks,no it don't breakeven,even,no

What am I suppose to do
When the best part of me is always you and
What am I suppose to say
When I'm all choked up and your okay

I'm falling to pieces,yeah
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cause...
continue reading...
Eve Dipalo stared up at the brick building. It looked the same but it felt so different, so... weird... "oof!" Someone pushed Eve aside and ran off into the school. Eve was about to say something, but she thought better of it. Besides, who would even listen to her of all people? She sighed and pushed open the doors to the school.

Right when she walked in she felt out of place. She pulled a piece of white paper from her backpack's side pocket and studied it. She walked over to one of the bright red 7th grade lockers and glanced back down at the paper to check her combination. she tried her...
continue reading...