So I have this klutz book called the encyclopedia of immaturity and there are some passages in it that I thought would be good to share on fanpop.
Passage Number 1
A Quick Reference: Homework Excuses -
Sometimes you just can't seem to remember why it is you didn't do your homework last night. If that's your problem, here's your answer.
1. I sprained my brain. The doctor says no heavy thinking for a week
2. I have a rare paper allergy
3. Why should I do homework when the universe is winding down and the sun will explode in 50 billion years?
4.Excuse me? I don't speak English. But thank you for asking. One dia I hope to learn your language. In the meantime I'm just faking it.
5. I finished my homework in my head. Why write it down and waste a tree?
6. I have decided to enviar last night's homework to a major broadcastor for a televisão sitcom pilot. In the meantime my agent tells me that I can't show it to anyone else.
Passage Number 2
Helpful Homework Hints: The universal book report
Sometimes in our busy lives we occasionally get stuck having to write a book denunciar about whose details we don't entirely remember. That used to be a problem. Now, all you have to do is copy the universal book denunciar and fill in the blanks where it says! Life just got simpler!
After leitura [Book Title] por [Author's Name] I am full of thoughts. Never before have I thought the thoughts I am now thinking. And the feelings I am feeling are surely a result of those thoughts.
The lead character in [Book Title] was, I truly believe, the most important person. At the beginning of the book we did not know him/her very well. Later on, of course, many difficult things hapen and he/she changes. Near the end of the book, towards the back, the problems are fixed and things work out, mais or less. I was so relieved! In conclusion, I think we all learned and important lesson! I know I Certainly did!
Thank You
The End.
Passage Number 3
News You Can Use
Supreme Court Rules Homework Unconstitutional
9-0 Unanimous Vote
Washington - The Supreme Court handed down a historic decision today in a case that has been closely watched por educaters and students alike. The issue was the constitutionality of homework. The specific case( Wilber B. Everykid v. U.S. Board of Education)pitted Everykid, who acted as his own lawyer, against a team of highly trained proffesional governement attorneys.
"When truth and justice are on your side," said Everykid, "who needs a fancy degree?"
The justice ruled that homework violates the 8th Ammendment (cruel and unusual punishment) the 9th Amendment (governement intrusion) and the 18rh ammendment guarenteeing "television without distraction"
Te new ruling takes effect immediatly and renders all outstanding assignments null and void. As for past homework, teachers will be expected to compensate students por paying them "a meaningful ammount."
Passage Number 1
A Quick Reference: Homework Excuses -
Sometimes you just can't seem to remember why it is you didn't do your homework last night. If that's your problem, here's your answer.
1. I sprained my brain. The doctor says no heavy thinking for a week
2. I have a rare paper allergy
3. Why should I do homework when the universe is winding down and the sun will explode in 50 billion years?
4.Excuse me? I don't speak English. But thank you for asking. One dia I hope to learn your language. In the meantime I'm just faking it.
5. I finished my homework in my head. Why write it down and waste a tree?
6. I have decided to enviar last night's homework to a major broadcastor for a televisão sitcom pilot. In the meantime my agent tells me that I can't show it to anyone else.
Passage Number 2
Helpful Homework Hints: The universal book report
Sometimes in our busy lives we occasionally get stuck having to write a book denunciar about whose details we don't entirely remember. That used to be a problem. Now, all you have to do is copy the universal book denunciar and fill in the blanks where it says! Life just got simpler!
After leitura [Book Title] por [Author's Name] I am full of thoughts. Never before have I thought the thoughts I am now thinking. And the feelings I am feeling are surely a result of those thoughts.
The lead character in [Book Title] was, I truly believe, the most important person. At the beginning of the book we did not know him/her very well. Later on, of course, many difficult things hapen and he/she changes. Near the end of the book, towards the back, the problems are fixed and things work out, mais or less. I was so relieved! In conclusion, I think we all learned and important lesson! I know I Certainly did!
Thank You
The End.
Passage Number 3
News You Can Use
Supreme Court Rules Homework Unconstitutional
9-0 Unanimous Vote
Washington - The Supreme Court handed down a historic decision today in a case that has been closely watched por educaters and students alike. The issue was the constitutionality of homework. The specific case( Wilber B. Everykid v. U.S. Board of Education)pitted Everykid, who acted as his own lawyer, against a team of highly trained proffesional governement attorneys.
"When truth and justice are on your side," said Everykid, "who needs a fancy degree?"
The justice ruled that homework violates the 8th Ammendment (cruel and unusual punishment) the 9th Amendment (governement intrusion) and the 18rh ammendment guarenteeing "television without distraction"
Te new ruling takes effect immediatly and renders all outstanding assignments null and void. As for past homework, teachers will be expected to compensate students por paying them "a meaningful ammount."
It is easy to speak and write in Pig Latin, so we all should know how to do it! I'm gonna teach you all how to do it!
1. Put the first letter of the word in the back of the word. If the first letter is a vowel, leave it in the front.
2. Add 'ay' to the end of the word.
example:
1. latin
2. atinl
3. atinlay
example:
1. after
2. after
3. afteray
Now you know how to do it!
Now, if you want to try it out, please translate this sentence into pig latin, and show your results in a comment:
because the web should revolve around you
enter your translation results, and if you win, you get the prize. I will tell the winner on Dec. 2nd, 2009. If you are a winner check everything on your profile.
1. Put the first letter of the word in the back of the word. If the first letter is a vowel, leave it in the front.
2. Add 'ay' to the end of the word.
example:
1. latin
2. atinl
3. atinlay
example:
1. after
2. after
3. afteray
Now you know how to do it!
Now, if you want to try it out, please translate this sentence into pig latin, and show your results in a comment:
because the web should revolve around you
enter your translation results, and if you win, you get the prize. I will tell the winner on Dec. 2nd, 2009. If you are a winner check everything on your profile.
(over 100 teens each ano kill themselves or think suicide because of being bullied or teased it doesent matter if standing up for someone helps you but atleast it helps someone else and it may save a life)