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Can I have constructive criticism on my writing?
Please don't be too rude, just give suggestions. Also the plot will be developed mais later on, this is just the first paragraph. Any respostas are appreciated!
The bare branches of the trees stretched across the grey sky, a taunting reminder of all the things that come along with winter. School, the cold, and people wishing you a merry natal were just a few of these for Roman. As he trudged down his usual route to school he silently observed the people around him. Laughing, kids, catching snowflakes on their tongues, adults chatting amongst themselves, everyone so happy. Then on the path in front of him, standing to the side a bit, he saw a girl, most likely around his age. Her head was tilted slightly up towards the sky and a smile spread across her pale face. Her eyes were shaped like little half-moons and her mouth was open slightly. She had snowflakes in her hair and dusting her red coat. Roman couldn’t see the cheer she saw in staring up at the sky, he couldn’t see how that would be such a captivating thing to her, and so he continued on his way, leaving the girl and path through the woods behind, never taking his eyes off the muddied snow on the ground to look up and try to see through her eyes.
The bare branches of the trees stretched across the grey sky, a taunting reminder of all the things that come along with winter. School, the cold, and people wishing you a merry natal were just a few of these for Roman. As he trudged down his usual route to school he silently observed the people around him. Laughing, kids, catching snowflakes on their tongues, adults chatting amongst themselves, everyone so happy. Then on the path in front of him, standing to the side a bit, he saw a girl, most likely around his age. Her head was tilted slightly up towards the sky and a smile spread across her pale face. Her eyes were shaped like little half-moons and her mouth was open slightly. She had snowflakes in her hair and dusting her red coat. Roman couldn’t see the cheer she saw in staring up at the sky, he couldn’t see how that would be such a captivating thing to her, and so he continued on his way, leaving the girl and path through the woods behind, never taking his eyes off the muddied snow on the ground to look up and try to see through her eyes.
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