Most Funny Quote ever?

"I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse."

It's not really a quote, but it used to be my motto. Oh well. *shrug*

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid"

In my opinion is true X3

"See no shit, hear no shit, take no shit.:)"

From Fruits Basket:

Shigure: ♪High school girls, high school girls! All for me! High school girls!♪

SCREW THE MONEY I HAVE RULES

...wait let me try that again

:D

When I was born I was so surprised that I didn't talk for a ano and a half.
--Gracie Allen

Looks like the rules... just got screwed

driver picks the música shotgun shuts his cakehole - dean winchester

"I lay in cama looking up at the stars and a thought comes to me; where the heck is the ceiling?"

"When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like Grandfather did. Not screaming, like the passengers in his car."

"I'm not a vegetarian because I amor animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling it brings."

imma get a job as a walmart greeter ,my words of welcome will be..."Welcome to freaking walmart! Get ur sh*t and get the hell out!!"
OR...........
4RM TVDS BOOKS

(throwing a árvore out of a forest in a wild display of power)
Damon; I didn't like it there anyway.

.....OR...........
(denying the attack of Vickie Bennett)
ELENA; The cemetery, remember? The ruined church? The girl you left wandering around there in her slip?
DAMON; Sorry, no. And I usually do remember girls I leave wandering in their slips

city of fallen angel
*simon* is this one of those keep your friends close but enimys closer things?
*jace* i thought the saying was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the car when you sneak over to their house at night and throw up in their mail box
*simon* i'm pretty sure thats not it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OR~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TVD
*damon* dont talk now
*tyler* screw you dude
*damon* dude really dude.
*stefan* damon don't
*damon* o c'mon whose gonna miss this idiot
lololololololol :D

"This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated."-Real Genius (An 80s movie)

[after many takes - and many spoonfuls of Vitameatavegamin (containing alcohol)]
Lucy Ricardo: Well, I'm your Vitavigavegivat Girl. Are you tired, run down, listless? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular?
[pause]
Lucy Ricardo: Well, are you? The answer to all your problems is in this little ol' bottle, Vitameatavegamin.
[Checks the bottle label]
Lucy Ricardo: That's it. Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, megetables and vinerals. So why don't you cadastrar-se the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitaveatyvemeanyminimoe. I'll tell you what you have to do. You have to take a whole tablespoonful after every meal. It's so tasty too. It's just like candy.
[Takes a bit of time, if not too much, trying to sample the liquid. Finally... ]
Lucy Ricardo: So everybody get a bottle of...
[pointing at the bottle]
Lucy Ricardo: this stuff.
-I amor Lucy

Trust me on this, but I amor Lucy is one of the funniest shows ever


"The clinic doctor just got stabbed in the parking lot and we're out of gauze. Is it cool if i take lunch?" "This place is crushing my soul"- aleatório clinic nurse and Elliot from Scrubs

vv this is pretty funny too

"NEVER underestimate the power of your own stupidity."
One of my friends said this after trying to jump over somebody in the parking lot, and ended up with a bruised foot, sprained thumb, and most of the skin scraped off both knees.
"WHY ARE YOU WEARING PANTS?!"
A guy in my class blurted this out after seeing my other friend wearing jeans when it was 80 degrees outside.

My motto-Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
favorito my friend told me-Well,aren't we a raio, ray of fucking sunshine.
My favorite-The last thing I want to do is hurt you.But it's still on the list.

"The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object."

From my boyfriend. We were talking about composição literária (I amor composição literária stories and such) and he said,
"My composição literária is like stabbing the English language repeatedly until it cries painful tears and wishes I had no command over it."
I had a true lmao moment after that one. XD

*Total Drama World Tour*
Noah: Haha! Cody has a tiny sausage!
Cody; At least my team has a sausage!

*One I've heard some-where*
I can be spontaneous! Just as long as it's in a controled enviorment....