Author’s Note: Here is the fourth installment of my POM Skits. The first set showcased funny everyday scenarios, the segundo set showcased Skilene antics, and the third installment showcased the show’s villains. In this latest set, I represent Julien in a set of ten little antics. I also apologize for the long wait, what with my social life and other works getting in my way. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy these skits as much as I enjoyed composição literária them. Any título with a Roman numeral in brackets seguinte to it has a skit note associated with it at the end.
31) Dairy King
After a hard workout, the penguins returned to HQ.
“Good workout today, boys!” Skipper said. “What the deuce?” he asked as he and the team took notice of the carton of leite on the table.
“What’s this doing here?” Kowalski inquired.
“I don’t know, but it needs to go in the fridge before it spoils. Rico, did you leave the leite out again?” Skipper said giving him a glare. Rico shrugged and Skipper rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I got it.”
When he grabbed the leite and tugged it, it wouldn’t budge.
“What the—?” he said as he pulled harder. He spoke between tugs. “Why is this—milk—stuck to the—tab—”
Finally, the leite pulled free, but he accidentally squeezed it too tight and leite squirted out of it, dousing himself in the frothy white liquid. He straightened himself in frustration and humiliation as Julien stumbled out from behind the televisão with a glue stick, laughing like a maniac.
“Ha-ha-ha! April Fool’s! You should see your penguin-y face! It is being the priceless!” he said as he continued to laugh, nearly out of breath. “You know,” he continued wiping a tear from his eye, “when you’re angry, you really are kind of cute, aren’t you?” he teased as the thought made him laugh even harder.
With rage burning in his eyes, Skipper replied, “Yeah?! Well I’m about to be absolutely adorable!”
Skipper jumped from the mesa, tabela and chased Julien out of the HQ, with Julien screaming at the topo, início of his lungs.
When they were gone, the penguins exchanged a glance.
Then they busted out laughing.
32) I Mustache You A Question
“Ooh … Yes, I like how this is to be looking,” Julien said admiring himself in the mirror. “What else are you finding in the Moss and Hounds, Maurice?”
Maurice pulled himself from the pile of knickknacks and other items with a roll of his eyes.
“It’s Lost and Found,” he corrected. “I found this wristband. I think it’d go great with that nice ‘belt’ you’re wearing,” he continued handing him the wristband and refraining from laughing at the dog colarinho, colar Julien wore on his hips.
Julien took the wristband from him. It was blue with a Mets logo on it.
“Very nice, but how would I wear it?” he asked himself as he tried different positions in the mirror. After failing to find a flattering place for it, he stretched it between his paws and slingshotted it back to Maurice. “No. Find me something else.”
Maurice irritably rubbed his cheek where the wristband had hit him and went back to looking as he muttered something inaudible.
“Lookie what I found!” Mort cried as he popped out of the pile of lost items. “It’s a catty-pillar!”
Maurice turned to him and rolled his eyes.
“No, Mort. It’s a stick-on mustache. Let me show you,” he said taking it from him and sticking it beneath his nose. “See?”
“Ooh! Me like-y!” Julien said snatching it from his face. “Gimme!”
“Ouch!” Maurice cried in surprise as he rubbed where the mustache had been.
Julien went back to the handheld mirror and stuck the mustache under his nose.
“Ha! Look at me, Maurice!” he said as he admired himself from different angles.
Maurice sighed.
“Hey, Maurice! I mustache you a question. Ha-ha! Do you get it?” Julien said turning and poking his shoulder.
“Yes, your majesty. I get it,” Maurice answered with a lack of enthusiasm.
“Come now, Maurice. You can’t tell me you don’t think I look absolutely fabulous in this mustache,” Julien said turning back to the mirror.
“Well, to be fair, you’re not exactly a ginger,” Maurice replied, indicating the ginger-colored mustache.
“Oh, who asked your opinion?” Julien asked indignantly.
Maurice went back to searching through the lost things and muttered to himself.
“Actually, you just did.”
33) Pitch Imperfect [XIV]
“And I-I-I-I-I will always amor yo-o-o-o-ou-u-u-u!” Julien sang at the topo, início of his lungs along with the radio one evening. Maurice cringed as Mort clapped and hopped up and down when the song ended.
“Thank you! Thank you—Maurice! Why do you not applaud your king?!” Julien asked angrily.
“Oh, it’s over? Sorry, I’m a bit deaf,” Maurice said as he rubbed the insides of his ears.
“Oh, so you’re saying that my cantar is so amazing that it overwhelms your ears? Well, then you are forgiven,” Julien said smugly.
“Actually, your highness, it was a bit out of tune,” Maurice said regretfully.
“What?” Julien said in confusion. “What do you mean we’re out of tuna? What does that have to do with my singing? I don’t even like tuna! You are so stupid-y, Maurice!”
“No!” Maurice replied impatiently. “Out of tune. As in, your cantar was not that great. Whitney Houston just isn’t your voice type.”
“How dare you, sir! How could you possibly think that I’m out of tune!” Julien asked angrily putting his paws on his hips. “I am having an overabundance-y of tune!”
Maurice pointed to the other zoo animals. When Julien looked around, Burt had shoved feno in his ears, Mason and Phil had done the same with bananas, the penguins had issued lockdown on their HQ, Marlene had buried her head under several pillows and had Enrique Guitaro playing for her through headphones, and Roy had his head buried under layers of his own hay.
“That proves nothing! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have another letter to perform!” Julien said as he turned to the radio and started at the dials.
“Number . . .” Maurice corrected under his breath as Julien started cantar along to Rolling in the Deep.
Meanwhile, Alice marched through the zoo in frustration.
“What on earth is that undelightful wailing?!” she asked aloud as she looked around. Finally, she realized that the sound was coming from Julien.
“Gah! What is wrong with you!” Alice said as she pulled herself into the lémure, lemur habitat. “Are you in agonizing pain or something? Come on, let’s get you to the vet,” she said as she picked Julien up in the middle of a lyric. “Better take you two as well, just to make sure,” Alice added as she grabbed Maurice and Mort and put all three of them in a carrying cage.
“How daring of you! I am royalty!” Julien shouted from the cage. When she ignored him, he turned and sat down, crossing his arms.
Maurice rolled his eyes.
“Told you you were out of tune.”
34) Your Face! [XV]
“Well, you are the worstest leader!” Julien shouted into Skipper’s face at yet another zoo meeting gone south.
“At least I don’t disrespect my team on a daily basis!” Skipper shot back, poking his stomach with his pointer.
“Slapping isn’t being considered disrespect to you, then?!” Julien retaliated smacking the pointer off to the side.
“At least I don’t kick them!” Skipper argued pointing at Mort.
“Well—!” Julien started matter-of-factly, but then he hesitated. “Your face is—stupid!” he finished pointing at his beak.
“What—? What does that even—?” Skipper shook his head. “That is it! I am not having this battle of wits with an unarmed man!”
“Yeah?! Well I’m not having this battle of wits with your stupid pointy face!” Julien shot back.
Skipper slapped his forehead.
“Ringtail, if you’re trying to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion. You’re going to need a new strategy,” Skipper said in a calmer, mais impatient tone.
“Your face needs a new strategy!” Julien persisted.
Skipper sighed.
“I think we’re done here,” he said turning to leave, but Julien stopped him.
“Your face is done here!”
Skipper sharply turned on him.
“Ringtail, if you don’t give it up, I’m going to shove this stick in a place that is most definitely not your face.”
35) The Plane [XVI]
“Come on, there’s gotta another way we can get off this island,” Alex said following the penguins through the jungles of Madagascar.
“With the barco out of gas, how are we supposed to go about that?” Skipper replied.
“I don’t know! You guys are the ones to always do the impossible,” Alex pointed out.
“Hey,” Gloria cut in, “what about a plane?”
“Oh, great idea. How are we going to get a plane?” Marty asked. He snatched up a stick and poked it several times while making boop! boop! sounds and then held it to his face like a phone. “Hello! Is this the Deserted Island Hotline? I’d like a plane, please.”
Gloria snatched the stick and threw it to the side.
“Will you hear me out?” she said as the others stopped and turned to her. “Look, you guys remember that plane in that little ol’ árvore of Julien’s?” she asked.
Melman, Alex, and Marty nodded.
“Yeah,” Melman answered, “but how does that help us? That thing’s a wreck.”
“Do you think you guys could fix it up enough to get it to fly us off this island?” Gloria asked the penguins.
Skipper looked to Kowalski.
“What are the odds?” he asked.
“I would first have to assess the damage already done to the plane,” his lieutenant answered.
On that note, the eight of them headed to the crash site and Kowalski made several calculations before he came down with his results.
“I would say there is a eleven-point-three chance that we can fix the plane,” Kowalski said, causing the higher mammals to sigh in disappointment. “However,” Kowalski continued, “say we add some supports and some form a projection or jump-start for it, and get some extra help, I’d say we can bump those odds up to about seventy-eight-point-four percent.”
Alex, Melman, Marty, and Gloria smiled and exchanged a hopeful look.
“Wait,” Melman said with his expression fading to concern, “do you think Julien’s going to allow us to—”
“There you are!” Julien bellowed—as if on cue—as he, Maurice, Mort, and a few other lemurs trotted up to them.
“I have been wondering where you Freaks went off to! What are we speaking of? Me, I hope,” Julien said smugly.
Everyone exchanged a glance.
“Um,” Alex started, “King Julien, we were wondering if you could do us a solid.”
“Eh, what is it that I am making ‘solid’?” Julien asked. “Because if it is regarding my health, I am thinking it is in the bushes somewhere way over there,” he said pointing off into the jungle.
Alex fought the image from his mind.
“No, most definitely not. Can we use your plane to fly off the island?” he said.
All of the lemurs present cracked up.
“Ha-ha! Are you hearing the crazy-haired Freak, Maurice?!” Julien asked his right-hand man. “He is wanting my plane! Ha-ha!”
After pulling himself together, he turned back to Alex.
“Oh, silly Mr. Alex. That plane does not fly anymore, nor does it have a flyer,” he said.
“But the penguins say they can fix it!” Marty broke in. “All they need is some o’ your lemurs to help out! Please, King Julien?”
Julien studied the penguins for a moment before he started laughing again.
“How are these—pain-gwains—” he tried to sound out the unfamiliar word—“to be fixing the plane? They do not even look fit to scratch my right toe!” he said pointing to his left foot.
“Excuse me?!” Skipper said incredulously. “You make a crack like that again and I’ll—”
“So!” Gloria broke in. “We’re all getting to know each other! How about we start over? Can we use your plane or not, Julien?”
Julien sighed.
“I am supposing. If you can fix it, you can use it,” he said. “I will go round up some helpers!”
When Julien scampered off with the other lemurs, Skipper turned to the higher mammals.
“We’re not bringing him are we?” he said in a tone a disappointed toddler might use.
“Well, it is his plane. If he wants to come, he would have the right,” Melman pointed out.
Skipper growled under his breath.
“Fine. But don’t be surprised if he ‘accidentally’ ends up skydiving somewhere over the Pacific Ocean.”
36) Sweet Temptations [XVII]
“Did you see me?! I was all, ‘We’re going to flood the earth! Muahahaha!’” Julien said as he drove alongside the penguins in his little kart on the way back to the zoo.
Skipper rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. We saw,” he said indifferently.
“And the look on you and that Blowy guy’s face when I revealed myself! You were all, ‘What?! Julien will save us all?!’ Ha-ha! It was great!” Julien said with a laugh.
Skipper scowled.
“We get it, Ringtail,” he said.
“And the way he ran away like a scared-y baby! Yes! He was no match for the king!” Julien continued as he laughed in triumph.
Skipper looked to his right as they all started over the Brooklyn Bridge. Moonlight gently kissed the surface of the East River and the only disturbance was a small barco in the distance.
“Ringtail,” Skipper said, cutting him off mid-sentence.
“What?” Julien asked impatiently. “I am busy speaking of my triumph, here!”
“Did Blowhole ever give you that jet ski?” Skipper asked.
“Eh, no, he did not,” Julien answered.
“In that case, I suggest you shut your mouth.”
37) Clueless
“Maurice!” Julien called as he approached him at the tiki bar.
“Yes, King Julien?” Maurice replied.
“We are needing to be doing a conversation,” Julien said taking a seat.
Maurice cocked an eyebrow.
“O—kay,” he said hesitantly.
“Well, you see, I am having this friend, who has an interest in a lady-friend. Namely, Marlene,” Julien explained.
Maurice nodded in understanding.
“Mm-hm. And does this friend have a name?” he asked suspiciously.
“Oh . . . um,” Julien said looking around nervously. “It is . . . Tim—olo—man. Timoloman. Yes, that is his name.”
Maurice gave a doubtful stare.
“Timoloman,” he repeated. Julien nodded. “I don’t remember any Timoloman in this zoo. Or any zoo.”
“Oh, that is because he is from out-of-town,” Julien recovered.
“And . . . how does he already know Marlene?” Maurice asked.
“Um . . . Marlene was—in the park picking—corn—and he—”
“I don’t think there’s any milho growing in the park, your highness. Or in Manhattan, for that matter,” Maurice said crossing his arms with an amused smile.
“Oh, no! I-It’s there, all right! You just have to know where to look,” Julien insisted.
“Mm-hm.”
Julien scratched the back of his neck.
“Let’s just mover on. Ah, he needs some conselhos on how to woo her, know what I’m sayin’? Of course, I would have given him some advice—because I am such a ladies man, know what I mean?—but he was just wanting a segundo opinion. So, what goes on in your brain-y parts on the subject, hm?” Julien said leaning in closer, engaging his attention.
“Well, first off, don’t come off too strong. That’s a big turn-off for many women. Just give her a visit every now and then to let her know you’re thinking of her. Get to know her a little better and buy her nice things that tie into her interests. If you’re lucky—excuse me, if Timoloman is lucky, she’ll be dying for you—him to ask her out,” Maurice explained.
Julien pondered this for a moment.
“Pft!” he said at last. “That is being the most ridiculous-dy things I am ever hearing! You call this amor advice? Ha, you know nothing of women like the king,” he said getting up and leaving him with his head held high.
Maurice rolled his eyes with a sigh.
“Oh, yeah. I’m the clueless one.”
38) Impossibilities [XVIII]
“I am not understanding! One minuto you are a cutesy little tiny penguin, then—poof!—he is all grown up!” Julien said with a sob and hugging Skipper around the neck.
“Ringtail! Lay off!” Skipper protested trying to push away from him.
“Julien, he is not Petey! How many times must we say it!” Kowalski said above Julien’s sobbing.
“He was the cutest little jellybean!” Julien sobbed over Skipper’s shoulder.
Skipper pried himself from him and looked straight into his eyes.
“Ring—tail,” Skipper said slowly, but sternly, “listen very carefully to what I am saying to you. I am not Petey. I am Skipper. If you understand, nod your head.”
Julien blinked.
“Petey!” he exclaimed throwing his arms around him again. “You almost had me there! You have gotten so good at your Skipper impression!” he said as he engaged in another round of sobs.
Kowalski and Rico slapped their foreheads while Private cringed, worried that Skipper was going to do something to Julien.
“Ringtail!” Skipper exclaimed angrily as he pushed away. “I am not—”
“Don’t be so modest!” Julien said while slightly pinching his cheeks. “I am being so proud of you!” he said breaking down into another fit of sobs.
Skipper took a deep breath.
“Ringtail, if I’m Petey, then where’s Skipper?” he reasoned.
Julien sniffed and thought for a moment.
“You are being right,” he said. Skipper sighed with relief and started to say something, but then Julien said, “Where is the bossy penguin? He will be wanting to be seeing this!”
With that, he hurried out of the HQ calling Skipper’s name.
Skipper watched him leave and heaved an annoyed sigh.
“Kowalski, what are the odds he’ll discover I’m not Petey?” he asked his lieutenant.
Kowalski whipped out his abacus and did a few calculations.
“Somewhere between the possibility of getting an acceptance letter to Hogwarts and the possibility of snowmen actually coming to life.”
39) Amnesia [XIV]
“I just don’t understand it, Maurice! I am not remembering anything in the past week! It is killing me from my out-tards to my innards!” Julien complained from his throne, clutching his head in frustration.
“I don’t either, your highness,” Maurice replied. “I don’t remember anything either. What about you, Mort?”
“Yes! I remember all the thingies!” he said happily.
“Really, Mort?!” Julien asked hopefully, sitting up straighter in his throne. “Then be spilling your guts, Mort! What am I missing?”
“We ate mangoes!” Mort answered happily.
Julien slapped his forehead.
“That was being breakfast! Before that! Before!” he urged.
Mort thought for a few minutes.
“The gimme-gimme estrela gave you a shiny!” he said finally.
Julien rolled his eyes.
“That was the week before! I am needing respostas on the past week! Oh, you don’t know anything,” Julien said disappointedly as he slumped back in his throne. “I just wish I at least knew why I don’t remember.”
“I hear ya,” Maurice agreed. “It’s really strange—just up an’ forgetting like that with no explanation.”
“Maybe it was the penguins!” Mort suggested.
“Pft! Mort, how, and mais importantly, why would the penguins make us forget everything in the past week?” Julien asked.
“Maybe they did something make everyone angry and to keep us all from hurting them, they erased our memories,” Mort said.
A moment of silence went por as they all considered the possibility.
“Bah,” Julien said finally, “that is the most preposterous-dy thing I am ever hearing. You say such stupid-y things, Mort.”
40) Art . . . I don’t get it [XX]
“That is being it! I am quitting!” Julien said throwing the paintbrush on the ground and sitting with his arms crossed. “The stupid elefante paints, he gets all the attention. I paint, nothing! This is why I am sticking to dancing.”
Maurice glanced up from the counter he was wiping off.
“Well, to be—”
“I just don’t get it! I am just as good as the silly pack of germs!” Julien said.
“Um, pachyderm?” Maurice corrected.
“Whatever! This was just a waste of my time!” Julien said in frustration.
“Well, to be fair, Burt drew actual pictures, rather than just . . .” Maurice looked over at Julien’s ‘painting,’ “throwing random-colored paint on the canvas in aleatório places.”
Julien scoffed.
“So?! I’ve seen art just like it in museums!”
— § —
[XIV] The título of this skit is a spoof of Pitch Perfect, a popular musical promoted por disney Channel. I Will Always amor You is a popular song por Whitney Houston. Rolling in the Deep is a popular song por Adele.
[XV] My friend actually gave me the inspiration for this with his “Your face is—stupid!” joke. It pretty much came about from the idea of what we would say if we couldn’t think of a good comeback quick enough.
[XVI] This takes place directly following Madagascar.
[XVII] This takes place following Dr. Blowhole’s Revenge. The kart that was mentioned is the one Blowhole gave Julien.
[XVIII] This takes place following Rock-a-Bye Birdy.
[XIV] This takes place following Truth Ache. There was also a reference to Hot Ice, within, which is the first anterior episode that included the lemurs.
[XX] This takes place following Brush with Danger!
31) Dairy King
After a hard workout, the penguins returned to HQ.
“Good workout today, boys!” Skipper said. “What the deuce?” he asked as he and the team took notice of the carton of leite on the table.
“What’s this doing here?” Kowalski inquired.
“I don’t know, but it needs to go in the fridge before it spoils. Rico, did you leave the leite out again?” Skipper said giving him a glare. Rico shrugged and Skipper rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I got it.”
When he grabbed the leite and tugged it, it wouldn’t budge.
“What the—?” he said as he pulled harder. He spoke between tugs. “Why is this—milk—stuck to the—tab—”
Finally, the leite pulled free, but he accidentally squeezed it too tight and leite squirted out of it, dousing himself in the frothy white liquid. He straightened himself in frustration and humiliation as Julien stumbled out from behind the televisão with a glue stick, laughing like a maniac.
“Ha-ha-ha! April Fool’s! You should see your penguin-y face! It is being the priceless!” he said as he continued to laugh, nearly out of breath. “You know,” he continued wiping a tear from his eye, “when you’re angry, you really are kind of cute, aren’t you?” he teased as the thought made him laugh even harder.
With rage burning in his eyes, Skipper replied, “Yeah?! Well I’m about to be absolutely adorable!”
Skipper jumped from the mesa, tabela and chased Julien out of the HQ, with Julien screaming at the topo, início of his lungs.
When they were gone, the penguins exchanged a glance.
Then they busted out laughing.
32) I Mustache You A Question
“Ooh … Yes, I like how this is to be looking,” Julien said admiring himself in the mirror. “What else are you finding in the Moss and Hounds, Maurice?”
Maurice pulled himself from the pile of knickknacks and other items with a roll of his eyes.
“It’s Lost and Found,” he corrected. “I found this wristband. I think it’d go great with that nice ‘belt’ you’re wearing,” he continued handing him the wristband and refraining from laughing at the dog colarinho, colar Julien wore on his hips.
Julien took the wristband from him. It was blue with a Mets logo on it.
“Very nice, but how would I wear it?” he asked himself as he tried different positions in the mirror. After failing to find a flattering place for it, he stretched it between his paws and slingshotted it back to Maurice. “No. Find me something else.”
Maurice irritably rubbed his cheek where the wristband had hit him and went back to looking as he muttered something inaudible.
“Lookie what I found!” Mort cried as he popped out of the pile of lost items. “It’s a catty-pillar!”
Maurice turned to him and rolled his eyes.
“No, Mort. It’s a stick-on mustache. Let me show you,” he said taking it from him and sticking it beneath his nose. “See?”
“Ooh! Me like-y!” Julien said snatching it from his face. “Gimme!”
“Ouch!” Maurice cried in surprise as he rubbed where the mustache had been.
Julien went back to the handheld mirror and stuck the mustache under his nose.
“Ha! Look at me, Maurice!” he said as he admired himself from different angles.
Maurice sighed.
“Hey, Maurice! I mustache you a question. Ha-ha! Do you get it?” Julien said turning and poking his shoulder.
“Yes, your majesty. I get it,” Maurice answered with a lack of enthusiasm.
“Come now, Maurice. You can’t tell me you don’t think I look absolutely fabulous in this mustache,” Julien said turning back to the mirror.
“Well, to be fair, you’re not exactly a ginger,” Maurice replied, indicating the ginger-colored mustache.
“Oh, who asked your opinion?” Julien asked indignantly.
Maurice went back to searching through the lost things and muttered to himself.
“Actually, you just did.”
33) Pitch Imperfect [XIV]
“And I-I-I-I-I will always amor yo-o-o-o-ou-u-u-u!” Julien sang at the topo, início of his lungs along with the radio one evening. Maurice cringed as Mort clapped and hopped up and down when the song ended.
“Thank you! Thank you—Maurice! Why do you not applaud your king?!” Julien asked angrily.
“Oh, it’s over? Sorry, I’m a bit deaf,” Maurice said as he rubbed the insides of his ears.
“Oh, so you’re saying that my cantar is so amazing that it overwhelms your ears? Well, then you are forgiven,” Julien said smugly.
“Actually, your highness, it was a bit out of tune,” Maurice said regretfully.
“What?” Julien said in confusion. “What do you mean we’re out of tuna? What does that have to do with my singing? I don’t even like tuna! You are so stupid-y, Maurice!”
“No!” Maurice replied impatiently. “Out of tune. As in, your cantar was not that great. Whitney Houston just isn’t your voice type.”
“How dare you, sir! How could you possibly think that I’m out of tune!” Julien asked angrily putting his paws on his hips. “I am having an overabundance-y of tune!”
Maurice pointed to the other zoo animals. When Julien looked around, Burt had shoved feno in his ears, Mason and Phil had done the same with bananas, the penguins had issued lockdown on their HQ, Marlene had buried her head under several pillows and had Enrique Guitaro playing for her through headphones, and Roy had his head buried under layers of his own hay.
“That proves nothing! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have another letter to perform!” Julien said as he turned to the radio and started at the dials.
“Number . . .” Maurice corrected under his breath as Julien started cantar along to Rolling in the Deep.
Meanwhile, Alice marched through the zoo in frustration.
“What on earth is that undelightful wailing?!” she asked aloud as she looked around. Finally, she realized that the sound was coming from Julien.
“Gah! What is wrong with you!” Alice said as she pulled herself into the lémure, lemur habitat. “Are you in agonizing pain or something? Come on, let’s get you to the vet,” she said as she picked Julien up in the middle of a lyric. “Better take you two as well, just to make sure,” Alice added as she grabbed Maurice and Mort and put all three of them in a carrying cage.
“How daring of you! I am royalty!” Julien shouted from the cage. When she ignored him, he turned and sat down, crossing his arms.
Maurice rolled his eyes.
“Told you you were out of tune.”
34) Your Face! [XV]
“Well, you are the worstest leader!” Julien shouted into Skipper’s face at yet another zoo meeting gone south.
“At least I don’t disrespect my team on a daily basis!” Skipper shot back, poking his stomach with his pointer.
“Slapping isn’t being considered disrespect to you, then?!” Julien retaliated smacking the pointer off to the side.
“At least I don’t kick them!” Skipper argued pointing at Mort.
“Well—!” Julien started matter-of-factly, but then he hesitated. “Your face is—stupid!” he finished pointing at his beak.
“What—? What does that even—?” Skipper shook his head. “That is it! I am not having this battle of wits with an unarmed man!”
“Yeah?! Well I’m not having this battle of wits with your stupid pointy face!” Julien shot back.
Skipper slapped his forehead.
“Ringtail, if you’re trying to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion. You’re going to need a new strategy,” Skipper said in a calmer, mais impatient tone.
“Your face needs a new strategy!” Julien persisted.
Skipper sighed.
“I think we’re done here,” he said turning to leave, but Julien stopped him.
“Your face is done here!”
Skipper sharply turned on him.
“Ringtail, if you don’t give it up, I’m going to shove this stick in a place that is most definitely not your face.”
35) The Plane [XVI]
“Come on, there’s gotta another way we can get off this island,” Alex said following the penguins through the jungles of Madagascar.
“With the barco out of gas, how are we supposed to go about that?” Skipper replied.
“I don’t know! You guys are the ones to always do the impossible,” Alex pointed out.
“Hey,” Gloria cut in, “what about a plane?”
“Oh, great idea. How are we going to get a plane?” Marty asked. He snatched up a stick and poked it several times while making boop! boop! sounds and then held it to his face like a phone. “Hello! Is this the Deserted Island Hotline? I’d like a plane, please.”
Gloria snatched the stick and threw it to the side.
“Will you hear me out?” she said as the others stopped and turned to her. “Look, you guys remember that plane in that little ol’ árvore of Julien’s?” she asked.
Melman, Alex, and Marty nodded.
“Yeah,” Melman answered, “but how does that help us? That thing’s a wreck.”
“Do you think you guys could fix it up enough to get it to fly us off this island?” Gloria asked the penguins.
Skipper looked to Kowalski.
“What are the odds?” he asked.
“I would first have to assess the damage already done to the plane,” his lieutenant answered.
On that note, the eight of them headed to the crash site and Kowalski made several calculations before he came down with his results.
“I would say there is a eleven-point-three chance that we can fix the plane,” Kowalski said, causing the higher mammals to sigh in disappointment. “However,” Kowalski continued, “say we add some supports and some form a projection or jump-start for it, and get some extra help, I’d say we can bump those odds up to about seventy-eight-point-four percent.”
Alex, Melman, Marty, and Gloria smiled and exchanged a hopeful look.
“Wait,” Melman said with his expression fading to concern, “do you think Julien’s going to allow us to—”
“There you are!” Julien bellowed—as if on cue—as he, Maurice, Mort, and a few other lemurs trotted up to them.
“I have been wondering where you Freaks went off to! What are we speaking of? Me, I hope,” Julien said smugly.
Everyone exchanged a glance.
“Um,” Alex started, “King Julien, we were wondering if you could do us a solid.”
“Eh, what is it that I am making ‘solid’?” Julien asked. “Because if it is regarding my health, I am thinking it is in the bushes somewhere way over there,” he said pointing off into the jungle.
Alex fought the image from his mind.
“No, most definitely not. Can we use your plane to fly off the island?” he said.
All of the lemurs present cracked up.
“Ha-ha! Are you hearing the crazy-haired Freak, Maurice?!” Julien asked his right-hand man. “He is wanting my plane! Ha-ha!”
After pulling himself together, he turned back to Alex.
“Oh, silly Mr. Alex. That plane does not fly anymore, nor does it have a flyer,” he said.
“But the penguins say they can fix it!” Marty broke in. “All they need is some o’ your lemurs to help out! Please, King Julien?”
Julien studied the penguins for a moment before he started laughing again.
“How are these—pain-gwains—” he tried to sound out the unfamiliar word—“to be fixing the plane? They do not even look fit to scratch my right toe!” he said pointing to his left foot.
“Excuse me?!” Skipper said incredulously. “You make a crack like that again and I’ll—”
“So!” Gloria broke in. “We’re all getting to know each other! How about we start over? Can we use your plane or not, Julien?”
Julien sighed.
“I am supposing. If you can fix it, you can use it,” he said. “I will go round up some helpers!”
When Julien scampered off with the other lemurs, Skipper turned to the higher mammals.
“We’re not bringing him are we?” he said in a tone a disappointed toddler might use.
“Well, it is his plane. If he wants to come, he would have the right,” Melman pointed out.
Skipper growled under his breath.
“Fine. But don’t be surprised if he ‘accidentally’ ends up skydiving somewhere over the Pacific Ocean.”
36) Sweet Temptations [XVII]
“Did you see me?! I was all, ‘We’re going to flood the earth! Muahahaha!’” Julien said as he drove alongside the penguins in his little kart on the way back to the zoo.
Skipper rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. We saw,” he said indifferently.
“And the look on you and that Blowy guy’s face when I revealed myself! You were all, ‘What?! Julien will save us all?!’ Ha-ha! It was great!” Julien said with a laugh.
Skipper scowled.
“We get it, Ringtail,” he said.
“And the way he ran away like a scared-y baby! Yes! He was no match for the king!” Julien continued as he laughed in triumph.
Skipper looked to his right as they all started over the Brooklyn Bridge. Moonlight gently kissed the surface of the East River and the only disturbance was a small barco in the distance.
“Ringtail,” Skipper said, cutting him off mid-sentence.
“What?” Julien asked impatiently. “I am busy speaking of my triumph, here!”
“Did Blowhole ever give you that jet ski?” Skipper asked.
“Eh, no, he did not,” Julien answered.
“In that case, I suggest you shut your mouth.”
37) Clueless
“Maurice!” Julien called as he approached him at the tiki bar.
“Yes, King Julien?” Maurice replied.
“We are needing to be doing a conversation,” Julien said taking a seat.
Maurice cocked an eyebrow.
“O—kay,” he said hesitantly.
“Well, you see, I am having this friend, who has an interest in a lady-friend. Namely, Marlene,” Julien explained.
Maurice nodded in understanding.
“Mm-hm. And does this friend have a name?” he asked suspiciously.
“Oh . . . um,” Julien said looking around nervously. “It is . . . Tim—olo—man. Timoloman. Yes, that is his name.”
Maurice gave a doubtful stare.
“Timoloman,” he repeated. Julien nodded. “I don’t remember any Timoloman in this zoo. Or any zoo.”
“Oh, that is because he is from out-of-town,” Julien recovered.
“And . . . how does he already know Marlene?” Maurice asked.
“Um . . . Marlene was—in the park picking—corn—and he—”
“I don’t think there’s any milho growing in the park, your highness. Or in Manhattan, for that matter,” Maurice said crossing his arms with an amused smile.
“Oh, no! I-It’s there, all right! You just have to know where to look,” Julien insisted.
“Mm-hm.”
Julien scratched the back of his neck.
“Let’s just mover on. Ah, he needs some conselhos on how to woo her, know what I’m sayin’? Of course, I would have given him some advice—because I am such a ladies man, know what I mean?—but he was just wanting a segundo opinion. So, what goes on in your brain-y parts on the subject, hm?” Julien said leaning in closer, engaging his attention.
“Well, first off, don’t come off too strong. That’s a big turn-off for many women. Just give her a visit every now and then to let her know you’re thinking of her. Get to know her a little better and buy her nice things that tie into her interests. If you’re lucky—excuse me, if Timoloman is lucky, she’ll be dying for you—him to ask her out,” Maurice explained.
Julien pondered this for a moment.
“Pft!” he said at last. “That is being the most ridiculous-dy things I am ever hearing! You call this amor advice? Ha, you know nothing of women like the king,” he said getting up and leaving him with his head held high.
Maurice rolled his eyes with a sigh.
“Oh, yeah. I’m the clueless one.”
38) Impossibilities [XVIII]
“I am not understanding! One minuto you are a cutesy little tiny penguin, then—poof!—he is all grown up!” Julien said with a sob and hugging Skipper around the neck.
“Ringtail! Lay off!” Skipper protested trying to push away from him.
“Julien, he is not Petey! How many times must we say it!” Kowalski said above Julien’s sobbing.
“He was the cutest little jellybean!” Julien sobbed over Skipper’s shoulder.
Skipper pried himself from him and looked straight into his eyes.
“Ring—tail,” Skipper said slowly, but sternly, “listen very carefully to what I am saying to you. I am not Petey. I am Skipper. If you understand, nod your head.”
Julien blinked.
“Petey!” he exclaimed throwing his arms around him again. “You almost had me there! You have gotten so good at your Skipper impression!” he said as he engaged in another round of sobs.
Kowalski and Rico slapped their foreheads while Private cringed, worried that Skipper was going to do something to Julien.
“Ringtail!” Skipper exclaimed angrily as he pushed away. “I am not—”
“Don’t be so modest!” Julien said while slightly pinching his cheeks. “I am being so proud of you!” he said breaking down into another fit of sobs.
Skipper took a deep breath.
“Ringtail, if I’m Petey, then where’s Skipper?” he reasoned.
Julien sniffed and thought for a moment.
“You are being right,” he said. Skipper sighed with relief and started to say something, but then Julien said, “Where is the bossy penguin? He will be wanting to be seeing this!”
With that, he hurried out of the HQ calling Skipper’s name.
Skipper watched him leave and heaved an annoyed sigh.
“Kowalski, what are the odds he’ll discover I’m not Petey?” he asked his lieutenant.
Kowalski whipped out his abacus and did a few calculations.
“Somewhere between the possibility of getting an acceptance letter to Hogwarts and the possibility of snowmen actually coming to life.”
39) Amnesia [XIV]
“I just don’t understand it, Maurice! I am not remembering anything in the past week! It is killing me from my out-tards to my innards!” Julien complained from his throne, clutching his head in frustration.
“I don’t either, your highness,” Maurice replied. “I don’t remember anything either. What about you, Mort?”
“Yes! I remember all the thingies!” he said happily.
“Really, Mort?!” Julien asked hopefully, sitting up straighter in his throne. “Then be spilling your guts, Mort! What am I missing?”
“We ate mangoes!” Mort answered happily.
Julien slapped his forehead.
“That was being breakfast! Before that! Before!” he urged.
Mort thought for a few minutes.
“The gimme-gimme estrela gave you a shiny!” he said finally.
Julien rolled his eyes.
“That was the week before! I am needing respostas on the past week! Oh, you don’t know anything,” Julien said disappointedly as he slumped back in his throne. “I just wish I at least knew why I don’t remember.”
“I hear ya,” Maurice agreed. “It’s really strange—just up an’ forgetting like that with no explanation.”
“Maybe it was the penguins!” Mort suggested.
“Pft! Mort, how, and mais importantly, why would the penguins make us forget everything in the past week?” Julien asked.
“Maybe they did something make everyone angry and to keep us all from hurting them, they erased our memories,” Mort said.
A moment of silence went por as they all considered the possibility.
“Bah,” Julien said finally, “that is the most preposterous-dy thing I am ever hearing. You say such stupid-y things, Mort.”
40) Art . . . I don’t get it [XX]
“That is being it! I am quitting!” Julien said throwing the paintbrush on the ground and sitting with his arms crossed. “The stupid elefante paints, he gets all the attention. I paint, nothing! This is why I am sticking to dancing.”
Maurice glanced up from the counter he was wiping off.
“Well, to be—”
“I just don’t get it! I am just as good as the silly pack of germs!” Julien said.
“Um, pachyderm?” Maurice corrected.
“Whatever! This was just a waste of my time!” Julien said in frustration.
“Well, to be fair, Burt drew actual pictures, rather than just . . .” Maurice looked over at Julien’s ‘painting,’ “throwing random-colored paint on the canvas in aleatório places.”
Julien scoffed.
“So?! I’ve seen art just like it in museums!”
— § —
[XIV] The título of this skit is a spoof of Pitch Perfect, a popular musical promoted por disney Channel. I Will Always amor You is a popular song por Whitney Houston. Rolling in the Deep is a popular song por Adele.
[XV] My friend actually gave me the inspiration for this with his “Your face is—stupid!” joke. It pretty much came about from the idea of what we would say if we couldn’t think of a good comeback quick enough.
[XVI] This takes place directly following Madagascar.
[XVII] This takes place following Dr. Blowhole’s Revenge. The kart that was mentioned is the one Blowhole gave Julien.
[XVIII] This takes place following Rock-a-Bye Birdy.
[XIV] This takes place following Truth Ache. There was also a reference to Hot Ice, within, which is the first anterior episode that included the lemurs.
[XX] This takes place following Brush with Danger!
Fighting styles: Hapkido, Pi Gua
Weapons: Bloody spear, Ninja sword
Abilities:can manipulate fogo to his will
Description: A reserected, heartless, ninja with an Unkown background. Nothing and no one can beat him.
Private
Fighting styles: karate
Weapons: none
Abilities: hyper cute
Description: The youngest and cutest of team pinguim also with little known about his background other than he played mini golf. Can use his hyper cute to stun anything, except for his foe.
Private and escorpião enter the ring. Private starts off with the hyper cute but is ineffective against Scorpion. Slowly escorpião gets his Bloody Spear ready. Then he shouts "Get over here" and sends the Bloody Spear at Private. With segundos hesitation escorpião pulls the bloody spear back with private on it. Victory is Scorpion's.