The different kinds of pain of each character on TVD, while everybody has his or her individual and personal suffering that one person mainly has to endure and that is the basis of that person’s journey, show us the different ways for each character to his or her happiness. Damon
I already wrote very much about Damon’s heartache (in every text of mine) and just recently published an artigo that dealt with much of it (if you are interested in mais details), so that I will only stick to the basics now. Although everybody has to suffer, Damon’s pain is por far most shown in frequency, intensity and depth, there is an emphasis in the story on Damon’s heartache, and the viewers are led to mostly sympathize with him. Damon is permanently emotionally and physically tortured, he is very often treated in a cruel and unfair way (by others or just por fate), he has always been turned down until now, and he almost never has any support while the audience is shown his sad face long and in detail. Damon’s pain
is that he has been hated, despised and rejected all of his existence; he has always been alone and almost never had any friends. Damon has been told all his life that Stefan is better than him, while he is worth nothing, can’t be loved and doesn’t deserve happiness, and Damon is for everybody except for Elena a bad person. He has been emotionally broken, and all of his journey is about love, acceptance, respect, feelings and emotions. His father had no amor or support for Damon, and Katherine fooled him, played with him and used him, but Damon none the less stuck to his obsession for Katherine for several decades, and he nowadays always puts Elena and her happiness, needs, wishes and safety first. Everything that Damon has done, he has done for love, but he had to struggle with his emotions after he turned his humanity back on, he has no self-esteem, he doesn’t believe that he can be loved and deserves happiness, and he is even constantly teased por that insecurity. Damon has problems to deal with being loved and being in a relationship, because he has only been used to hate, pain and rejection until now, and he always tries to glorify and justify Stefan and reminds of the weaknesses and bad deeds of himself when someone is friendly and shows affection to Damon, and he reacts extremely to Elena’s amor and affection when he allows himself short moments of believing in them.
So, Damon’s way to his happiness
leads over love, acceptance and respect, everything is about amor for him and his whole life has been one quest to find love, he needs to be truly loved for whom he really is, so that he can start to build some self-esteem and get over his insecurities. Damon has to see the goodness inside of him and start to believe that he is worth of being loved and deserves to be happy. And therefore, Elena is Damon’s way to happiness
because she loves, accepts and respects him unconditionally, she brought out the best version of him, but never tried to change him completely, and she is the only one who made the effort to look behind his mask and the one who broke through his walls. Damon ruins what he thinks that he doesn’t derserve, but Elena doesn’t let him destroy their relationship; she will continue fighting for him, for them and for their true love, what is exactly what Damon needs and the only way in which tortured and broken Damon can find peace and happiness. Elena
Elena has lost all of her relatives and lots of other loved ones; her whole life is full of losing, grieving and mourning. Therefore, she needs comfort, support, safety and trust, she needs someone who makes her happy and keeps her from breaking down, somebody to rely on and to make her smile even in sad moments. Elena could never commit to anybody or anything until now, but she really needs a true and deep commitment and certainty. She is young, she has been inexperienced and scared for a very long time, so that she hid in pretending for a while, but that can never work out in the long run. Elena needed to grow, grow up and develop, she had to learn how to accept, mover on and get over things, she needs the feeling of safety as well as to actually be kept safe. Elena recently gained the strength and maturity that she desperately needed, she has to stand in for what and who she wants, for her wishes and her feelings. She has many different sides, and she needs someone who will unconditionally and eternally amor her and everything about her, someone around whom she can be herself, because she has to be her true self. Elena is a fun and wild girl – whenever she doesn’t lose somebody – and she needs excitement, adventure and danger as well as a task in life, she wants passion, fogo and tension and to be challenged, surprised and caused to develop, while she feels being loved and is kept seguro and protected at the same time. Her friends are often afraid of her dark sides and try to keep her from giving in to those because they can’t deal with them, but Elena needs to find a way to combine all aspects of her character to reach her happiness. She has to allow every side of her to control all of them, and such a development is no complete change, it is just the improvement to the best version of oneself. Elena has always been full of loyalty, compassion and forgiveness, she gives everybody a chance and has many loved ones. But she has also always been dark, wild and fun, and she became mature, happy and alive through Damon, and she always fights for, never gives up on and does everything for her loved ones. Elena finally also gained honesty, strength and toughness, but she still has to understand that it is nothing bad to be true to herself and her wishes and honestly and directly say what she wants in a friendly way – her various characteristics are different, but it is possible to combine them and be her true self in its best version.
So, Elena’s way to her happiness
leads over finding safety and excitement at the same time, being caused to grow up and develop as well as over being loved unconditionally with every side of her. Therefore, Damon is Elena’s way to happiness
because he is her true amor and her best friend, they are perfectly fitting for each other, amor each other unconditionally and eternally and can be themselves around each other. They have an incredible chemistry, they support, trust and rely on as well as challenge and develop each other, and there is always excitement in their relationship. Damon makes Elena truly happy and keeps her seguro and protected, they have a mature relationship and are always honest with one another. Damon improved his character and became the best version of himself for and because of Elena, he always puts her first, and Damon is the only one that Elena ever wanted to commit to. Elena is at last undoubtedly certain that she will forever only truly love, want and choose Damon, and nothing can ever destroy them and their love. Stefan
There are different opinions around here about how we feel about Stefan, but if you make the effort to understand how he feels, you see that he always has to struggle with controlling himself, against losing himself in being the "ripper" and with being a vampire in general. And to find peace, Stefan needs to realize that all of that is a part of him, he has to combine all sides of him and to see the good sides of every aspect of his character. But Stefan is very often warned of or teased with the permanent threat of losing control again, he is constantly haunted por that fear, and he had to give in to his "ripper side" to save his brother after Damon was bitten por Tyler. And after Damon started to teach his brother control, and when Stefan fed his blood to Meredith to save her and didn’t lose control in a bloody situation, he showed some signs of peace and happiness. But Stefan has always been chosen over Damon until now, and he also got broken, so that he can’t deal with rejection now; he knows that all vampiros do bad deeds, but he has always been told how great he is, so that he has difficulties now to combine everything about himself. Stefan is very "self-fixated", but that isn’t his fault, because it has its origin in the way in which everybody treated him all his life. He usually pretends, denies and ignores, he sees everything like he wants it to be, so that he always has problems when he is confronted with truth and reality. Stefan doesn’t know where his boundaries are (what Damon started to show to him), he devided himself into two opposite sides and switches between those two extremes (the undeveloped, moral, pretending guy and the "ripper"). He had almost no development, he is still a teenager in a way, and Stefan needs to grow up, improve and develop; he has to learn how to accept, mover on and get over things, and that you have to face truth and reality and deal with difficulties, so that you can solve your problems instead of running and hiding – what only makes them stronger. Stefan needs to deal with his past, with himself and with how things really are, he has to get close to his limits to understand how to control himself and not cruz the line (what Damon started to teach him), and he needs to quit sticking to his "bubbles of pretending"; but he can only do that himself.
So, Stefan’s way to his happiness
leads over self-acceptance, he has to deal with the past as well as with current situations. He needs to grow up, develop and improve and to accept truth and reality about himself as well as about basic situations. Stefan has to solve his (already for a very long time existing) problems and to break the "circle" of his life, and with all of that, he will reach control, lose the strength of his guilt and stop his self-hate.
So, each one of the main characters of the show has his or her individual kind of pain that can be found in every aspect of his or her journey – in their history, wishes, needs, inner struggles etc., it is used to torture them even more, and they react most intensely in bad ways to it and in good ways to its contrary. Damon is hated, despised, fought, rejected, turned down, broken and hurt, he is told that nobody can amor him, that he doesn’t deserve to be happy, and that he will end up alone and in misery, and he is even teased with that. Damon very often stands aside, watches other people’s happiness and keeps his pain from them while we are shown his suffering and heartache in detail. Elena loses lots of loved ones, she is less teased like the two brothers, but mais reminded por things, places etc. of the people that she lost, and the truth came out for her in several matters. Elena stopped fearing and pretending and stood in for what she wants; she allowed her true amor for Damon, accepted her wild side, grew up, found true happiness (with Damon) and ultimate certainty (about her eternal amor for Damon). Stefan has always been warned about and teased with his "ripper side", he is full of guilt and self-hate, and everything is always about himself for him. And although we all know loss and the lack of control, amor moves people most, what is another reason why Damon is the por far most beloved character of the show, with his painful and tragic quest to be truly loved, especially without him having anybody at his side most of the time.
All of the characters have to endure some of each kind of pain, but each one of them has his or her personal basic reason of suffering. Damon and Stefan haven’t lost many people, they always have each other (more or less), and Damon has normally not many loved ones anyway. Stefan hasn’t seen much of Delena together, he isn’t shown standing aside and watching them, but has instead always lots of support. Damon has always the control over his blood-thirst, he only struggled with his emotions in the first phase with his humanity being turned back on; he is sorry for his bad deeds but he isn’t controlled or overwhelmed por it, and everything that he does is for, with or about Elena. Damon is completely over Katherine, he accepted his obsession for her and dealt with everything about that; he is in no "circle", he doesn’t relive his life. Damon changed (for and because of Elena), he as well as the situation for him are different now, he is truly loved for the first time in all his existence, he reached what he has always wished for and always needed (although he still doesn’t believe it). Damon is an expert in accepting how things are and moving on, while Stefan’s life has only been about hiding and pretending so far.
And although the situation has finally changed, with Elena admitting and giving into her true amor with Damon, the basic story elements are still kept through certain storylines (sire bond, Kol’s compulsion, cure, humanity-loss, …). DE are still the yearning and longing, missing and resisting couple (what the viewers mostly feel with), Stefan is still prefered por most of the people around them, and Damon has still much heartache, insecurity and loneliness. But Delena finally have a relationship, Stelena are over for good (Stefan is only kept as a fake threat por what others say and through Damon’s insecurities), and DE at last almost reached the best version of themselves and found true happiness together, and Elena stopped her immature doubting and not knowing and gained absolute certainty.
Stefan had an unfinished past with Rebekah, but they recently got the chance to finish it, so that they now can mover on. But Stefan has also an unfinished past with Katherine, and he has to deal with that, too, before he can ever make any relationship work. Stefan thinks that Katherine compelled him to amor her although she declares over and over that she didn’t, and they also have the "hate as the beginning of a amor story"-aspect. Stefan has always been Katherine’s favourite and the only one that she ever truly loved – in her weird way –, and she hopes that she can one dia be the girl that he can love. But Steferine both have to each work on their characters and improve before they can get a chance to stay together, but with accepting himself, Stefan can also accept Katherine, so that I see a chance for them, although as long as we will have the Delena endgame, I can accept everything else. But Stefan in every way has to face, accept and finish before he can develop and start his own way, because his unfinished past effects his current situation. His relationship with Katherine was the start of everything for Stefan, he saw Elena as the human form of Katherine and found her fitting for his life plan (what she isn’t), his relation to Damon is still affected por the past, and Stefan stands under the influence of his suppressed feelings for Katherine (and suppressing only makes emotions stronger). Stefan relives his life with Katherine, he himself basically called his relationship with Elena a re-run of his relationship with Katherine, that has been the origin of everything for him.
Stefan has still most of his way left, while DE are already close to what they want and need, and I expect an intense reaction of Stefan when he will get mais control and self-acceptance, what is what he needs for his happiness. But I got the impression that Stefan started his journey lately, he begins to see the real Damon and made up with him, acknowledges Elena’s amor for Damon ("Elena’s sire bond stands from her feelings for you.") and accepts their relationship ("She had you."). Stefan went through all of the phases of mourning and seems to have finally reached acceptance; he takes Elena to Damon’s bedroom, always gets Damon involved in dealing with Elena, and when the Salvatore brothers met dark Elena in the diner, Stefan reached the mesa, tabela first but let his brother pass por him so that Damon could sit seguinte to Elena. There was no reaction from the two brothers about that, there is never said anything about those details, but these signs can be found everywhere lately.
The Defan scene before they met Elena was also important in that matter; Damon wants to stay with Elena, he is for the first time truly loved, the situation is completely new for him and totally different from everything that he experienced before, he does everything for Elena, and everything for him is about Elena. Stefan plans to leave, he is very "self-fixated", and he sees his situation with Elena as another re-run of his life. Stefan wants to separate himself from DE – although he loves both of them – to concentrate on himself, and he wants to break the "circle" of his life to find his way to peace and happiness. He is not totally destroyed and heart-broken because Elena loves Damon, Stefan instead finally deals with the situation pretty well, although he went too far in his VERY long "anger/wrath phase", so that I can never restlessly like him like I did before, but I already started to forgive him and to improve my opinion of him again.
But while Damon promised Elena that he will never leave her again, it was Stefan’s suggestion at the end of Season 3 that the "not chosen one" should leave, and that basic direction can be found throughout the whole story, with Stefan very often walking away, while it is never possible for Delena to stay apart and stop falling mais and mais for each other. DE can’t be without the other, no matter how much they try, what others say, how much they push each other away, and what stands against them, while Stefan now arranged himself somehow with Delena being together, and Elena at last – after always doubting, not knowing and being torn and insecure while she was still with Stefan – found the ultimate certainty of what she wants [Damon]. Stefan is about to mover on, and it is sad for everybody that he is still kept from it por Caroline dragging him back into fighting for Elena, por the people around them prefering him with Elena or using him to increase Damon’s insecurities, and por him staying involved in taking care of humanity-less Elena, although it is nice of Stefan to fight for Elena’s humanity like she fought for his. But don’t get me wrong, I still dislike most of what Stefan does at the moment, his plans suck and he still doesn’t see how Damon really is, Stefan has almost no development at all and still a long journey left to improve his character. But I sense the beginning of a change inside of him, although that hope was already destroyed several times before, but I also see the fact that he could be badass Stefan, after finding out about the relationship of Damon and Elena, without ripping people apart as an improvement for him. And Stefan trying to build a friendship with Elena, is also a sign for SE to be over for good, like him seeing what he had with Elena as reliving what he had with Katherine, shows Elena to be only a repetition of his "life circle" as well as Katherine to be what Stefan is still stuck onto.
And Damon’s "moment of weakness" in that episode is totally understandable and lasted only ONE SECOND; it made him "human" and even mais adorable than he already is, although it is so attractive and lovable that he is that close to perfection – especially in his amor for Elena. But everybody keeps telling him that Elena’s amor for him is not real and that he will lose her again (after he already heard all of his existence that he can’t be loved or even deserves happiness), so that it is normal and understandable that he VERY SHORTLY hesitates right after Rebekah increased that insecurity again. But that also shows that Damon really doesn’t care how Elena is, because he loves who she is; it isn’t important that she is awful to him, Damon only tries to cure Elena because that is what she wanted while she was still complete (and he and the others can only rely on what Elena said when no side of her was missing), and because he wants to spare her as much guilt and pain as possible when she will turn her humanity back on. Only Elena matters to Damon, he doesn’t care about himself when it comes to her; bad Elena asked Damon how she should be, but it is for him about how she wants to be (when she is complete and her true self). This whole matter is only used as another fake reason to push Stefan (like the discussion about resisting compulsions), with none of those points having the ability to actually decrease Damon’s value.
So, to get back to the topic of my article, the story has certain "lessons of life" that animate the audience to improve themselves and to never give up. Improve yourself without expecting to be repaid for it, and even if you don’t believe in a reward, you can none the less get one; show an incredible unselfishness, and don’t let others put you down, destroy you or "break" you [Damon]. Be yourself and stand in for your wishes, feelings etc.; don’t care what others say, you can’t pretend forever, don’t suppress your feelings, give true amor a chance and don’t fear it, it is always worth giving in to it; combine all of your sides, you reach the best way in finding the perfect compromise for doing what is best for the others AND for yourself [Elena]. You can’t hide forever, face, deal with and accept things to mover on, solve and get over them, and know where your limits are to gain control [Stefan]. Everybody has to find his or her own way, but it is worth to make the effort to develop, because that leads to true happiness.
The story is nothing like "my evil brother roubou my girlfriend with a sobrenatural trick" (after apologizing for calling Damon "wrong for Elena", Stefan was mad at both, Damon AND Elena, and despite permanently bringing up the sire bond, he never tried to rescue Elena from Damon [only Caroline said that Damon took advantage of Elena]; that shows that Stefan already knows deep inside that Elena truly loves Damon [Stefan already confronted her about being in amor with his brother in Season 3]), we instead mostly see Damon suffering because he can’t believe that Elena loves him and Elena being frustrated that nobody believes that her feelings are real (although enough proof is given of that) and suffering when seeing Damon’s pain and because her friends don’t like her boyfriend. Everything that happened in Damon’s, in Elena’s and in their shared journey led to DE becoming a couple, being meant for each other and ending up together, like everything that happened in the story, including Delena getting together, guides Stefan to finally start to face his problems, find his own way and mover on.
Damon, Elena and Stefan – as well as the other TVD characters – have to endure pain and suffering, while they all have to develop (what DE mostly do together), and each one has his or her individual way to happiness. They have to reach the best version of themselves, and Delena almost have gained that version because of each other and that happiness together, they are only kept from it por the people around them for now. DE redeem each other while I can see Stefan finding redemption in giving his life, but I hope that – after this long story full of tragedy and heartache – everyone can at last reach happiness in a less tragical way. But Delena have to be together, because they are each other’s way to happiness, they are only truly happy together, and they are perfectly fitting for each other in every way.