#1:
Woods: (catch phrase) YOU CAN'T KILL ME!!


#2:
Mason: Woods, you look like hammered shit!
Woods: Looks don't count for shit in the jungle. This is 'Nam baby!


#3:
Woods: (when Mason "player" shoots him) You do that again! I'll kill you!


#4:
Woods: Back in '64, the CIA gave up control of covert operations in South-East Asia... handed it over to the US military. From that, MAC-V-SOG was born. Now aside from being a base for the Marine Corps, Khe Sanh is our launching point for all cross-border activities. Mostly Laos and Cambodia. Missions are S&D, sabotage, black propaganda, strategic reconnaissance,...

#1:
Hines: Now listen, I'm just bored as you are.. But we're gonna all listen as this dork finishes his little useless yackedy yack yack.


#2:
Hines: WHAT!? IN THE NAME OF GOD!? JUST HAPPENED!?
Yomanshi: I don't think they were fooled coach.
Hines: Is that what you THINK Yomanshi!? Maybe that's because you decided to start standing in open territory!


#3:
Hines: STOP IT! OR I WILL SET YOU ON FIRE!!


#4:
Hines: I swear to god in heaven I will turn your eyes into scrambled eggs.. DON'T ASK ME HOW!!


#5:
Hines: Out there.. Is our enemy.. The norwood, academy for deranged boys... And they.. Would like nothing...

Been seeing it about four months now, and it's the most "quotable" series EVER...

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#1:
(live audience scene):
Peele: What I often do.. I take note of things my girl dose wrong, and call her on it at the right times.
Key: (pretending to be the girl) Jordon, why'd you leave the toilet assento up?
Peele: cadela, puta WHY WAS YOU LATE LAST NIGHT, AND I DIDN'T SAY NOTHING!?


#2:
(live audience scene):
Girl in audience: (laughing too hard)
Key: Ma'am... Breath.


#3:
Key: (texting angrily) do you even WANT to hang out!?
Peele: (texting calmly) Like I said...

#1: THE POKEMON STORY:
WE WERE WARNED. For months Rob told us there was a spirit-shattering tale of Pokemon-y wrongness out there, and we laughed at him. He said it was the worst fã fiction he’d seen, and we waved him off. We taunted him, begged him to fucking show it. We were so innocent then. How could we know? How could we possibly prepare ourselves for the depths this story would go to?

The Pokemon story went to lengths as bad as Lara Croft and Squick, but it did it in the lovingly cutesy world of Pokemon. This, frankly, was bad enough to put it at the topo, início of the list. The things that...

#1:
"I am honored to be the first CEO of a private corporation to become a member of the United Nations Security Council. Unfortunately, my appearance today has been clouded por a flurry of speculation that my company is developing a weapon of mass destruction which would be capable of targeting specific ethnic groups. I want to address these allegations head on. Are we developing such a weapon? No we are not. Because we've already developed it. But with all due respect, the United Nations is a relic from a different time when nations were unique in their ability to solve the world's problems....

#1:
"[during a robbery] Ladies and gentlemen! This is your moment! Please don't make me ruin all the great work your plastic surgeons have been doing! ON THE FLOOR! NOW!"


#2:
"I'm rich, I'm miserable.. I'm pretty average for this town"


#3:
"You twisted fuck! Your a dead man!"


#4:
"nothing.. I was just lost in an old 80's movie montage"


#5:
"(sparing hostage) Forget a thousand things every dad pal... Why don't you make sure this one of them"


#6:
Jimmy De Santa: Hey, let's bounce.
Michael De Santa: Bounce? We're bouncing now? Is that what we're doing? jesus fucking Christ.


#7:
Dr. Isiah Friedlander: Your...

BEST OF ANDERSON:

Anderson: Please support the official release, you protestant fuckbucket.

Alucard: Well. Now that's over with. Let's go back to my place and eat my favorito cereal- (gets decapitacated)
Anderson: Now that that's over with, let's go to my place and eat my favorito cereal- (Sara's gone) AHH SON OF A PROSITION WHORE!
Anderson: Well. You know what time it is.. (Rape time)

Anderson: So what can I do for you, Father O'Mally'O'Connel'O'Carrol'O'Reilly'O'Brian'O'Sullivan... ah-who is also Italian?

Intergra: You do realise. This is a great violation of our agreement.
Anderson: Oh. And...

I watched a few.. And just had too....


#1: CAMP NIGHTMARE:
The camp is actually a hoax set up por the boy’s parents.. Okay, that would of been fine wait there.. But being Goosebumps, for some reason, it's so the boy can be prepared for an exploratory mission to a place called 'Earth'.. So they're aliens appearently.. Okay.. But WHY?


#2: THE BARKING GHOST:
The cachorros turn out to be humans that have been transformed into dogs, so they transform Cooper and fergie into cachorros and take over their identities, then Cooper and fergie transform them back but they accidently get transformed into squirrels or...

Everyone knows about Squidward torture.
But I recently started noticing that Spongebob gets tortured himself...

Even modern Spongebob doesn't THIS much punishment..

------------------------------------------------------------

#1: THE SPLINTER:
Spongebob immediately got himself a splinter. Throughout the episode, Spongebob tries to not deal with it. but couldn't due to his thumb's injury. Should he used his other hand instead? (PLOTHOLE!) So, he decided to hide it, but Squidward (who told him nothing but lousy crap of hiding it and didn't solve anything) and s. Patrick only WORSENED the situation....

#1:
Steve Jobs (Ian): So buy the iPhone 5... OR I'LL #$%^ YOUR #$%@ AND @#$%$ YOUR @#$%!.. (smiles)

#2:
Ian: (evilly) Here you go Mom! (giggles evilly)
[Ian's Mom eats the donut and starts choking]
Ian: Die mom! (laughs)
Ian's Mom: (coughs) Just a sprinkle.
Ian: (visibly upset) But you're supposed to DIE!
[Ian starts crying]
Ian's Mom: Oh, honey, honey, you can try to kill me again later.

#3:
Anthony: So I woke up super-glued to the toilet seat. And the toilet was filled with poop. I mean FILLED, like 10 people just decided not to flush. I started gagging so I flushed the toilet... and then it started...

#1:
Phillip Clyde: I'm going to kill you both. Then, I'm going to drain all your blood, take out your bones, put your body in a big chair with some elves and reindeer, and sit on your lap and tell you all the cool shit I want for Christmas.
Elliot Salem: This guy *clearly* had a messed up childhood.
Tyson Rios: [scoff] Ya think?


#2:
Phillip Clyde: No problem, fuck-o.
[gives the middle finger and jumps off the ship]
Elliot Salem: "Fuck-o"?. Who says that!?


#3:
Phillip Clyde: I'm gonna kill you both, slice you open and go to an aerobics class waring your intestines for leg warmers!
Elliot Salem: I mean...

FIVE YEARS EARLIER:

It was a cold, dark, rainy afternoon. Perfect for the mood everyone was in.

Everyone was gathered around a gravestone. On it read...

"Kate Mcreary - 1980 to 2008"

But nothing else was written against the grave, no comment like you would see on many gravestones. It just said her name and the dates. Nothing to interesting.

"I never thought this would happen... I never fucking thought it... Kate.. sweet, innocent Katie... She didn't diserve it.. She never hurt anyone!... She didn't do nothing to nobody. It was us McReary men who were the sinners. We're paying for that ourselves,...

#1: ABRIDGED ALEXANDER ANDERSON:

The abridged version of Alexander Anderson is vastly different than his animê counterpart. Like the original, he is a devoted servant of God. Unlike the original, he is ALSO shown to be downright insane. And speaks with an stereotypical Irish accent..



#2: ABRIDGED JAN VALENTINE:

This verison of Jan is almost exactly like his original counterpart. Who, itself, is very dark humored and comic relief, but also very disturbing and perverty. In this verison, he appears to "fuck anything that movies" as he says he'll skull fuck both sir ingeriga, and the...

1:
Clay: Johnny ain't gonna be cool if your messing with her again.
Trevor: Oh really, let's ask him. (lifts foot) oi cowboy? You mind that I fucked your old lady? Oh, what's that, you DON'T mind.. Wha- because your a dead man!? And the only scented part of you left is this little piece of brain! And the grizzle on the end of my boot! WELL THANK YOU VERY MUCH COWBOYYY!
Terry: BULLSHIT!
Trevor: Oh I LIKE IT, denial! That's the first part of the grieving process brothers. Now let's all hold hands.
Clay: THIS BETTER BE BULLSHIT! (they all ride off)
Trevor: Oh, where you guys going!? LET'S GO LADIES!...

1: THE SEA BEAR:
A Sea urso is a large piranha-like peixe with claw-tipped fins and the head of a grizzly bear. Squidward did not believe in the sea bear's existence until he was attacked por one in The Camping Episode where it is featured as the main antagonist.
The sea urso is quite disturbing for a kids show.
It is an exceptionally violent animal, the sea urso took an immediate dislike to Squidward and attacked him repeteadly throughout the episode.
The sea urso then violently mauls him and repeats this five times after for differing reasons: running, limping, crawling, simple dislike for the...

1:
QUESTION: How do you hide a boner?
ANSWER: You get a girl to hide it in

2:
QUESTION: Is lion king based on a true story?
ANSWER: Yes cause I know LOTS of talking lions

3:
QUESTION: Is is normal to be in amor with your dog?
ANSWER: You need to see a therapist

4:
QUESTION: What's a fun site for 13 ano old girls?
ANSWER: Redtube..

(redtube is porn site.. don't ask me how I know that)

5:
QUESTION: How did the cow milking routine get started?
ANSWER: I'm guessing there was a cow molester..

6:
QUESTION: How do I know I'm really my kid's mother?
ANSWER: Lord help this woman

7:
QUESTION: How do I become sarcastic?...

#10: GARY TAKES A BATH:
We never realized this as a kid.
But it's hard to believe they got away with spongebob saying "don't drop the soap" and than winking.
If you don't know why this is innapriopiate, I would rather not be the one to explain it too you..

#9: GRAVEYARD SHIFT:
The story Squidward tells, involves the ghost of someone going around murdering people, and the way the phone rings and no one respostas seems rather disturbing for a kid show..

#8: CLAMS:
Mr Krabs, in his crazed state, attempts to get Spongebob and Squidward literary killed when he used them for live bait..

#7: SQUEAKY BOOTS:...

Our story began in the springwood diner.

Dean, a seemingly normal guy, was ignored por a waitress when he innocently asked for anouther coffee.

Annoyed, he followed her in order to get her attention, and ended up in the kitchen.

But that's when things started getting weird, it wasn't no ordinary kitchen, it almost seemed, cannibalistic.

Suddenly, Freddy Kruger popped out of nowhere, who tired stabbing Dean with a costomized luva weapon.

This event frightenly woke him into to reality, as it was revealed he was alseep.

"Dean.. I told you if you keep falling asleep, their gonna kick you outta here"...