" . . . and that settles the refreshments portion. Mary will zap up some delicious hors d'oeuvers, pastries, drinks, and pussy-willow almondine, and Enchantra will serve as hostess," the white-haired witch said to the small planning committee of older women surrounding her.
"But Bertha, this IS the Galactic Rejuvenation and Dinner Dance. We'll need some music, too," Mary reminded her. "And not to be cruel to your niece, Clara, but Serena has some . . . interesting
tastes. Perhaps Endora should handle that . . . Clara?"
Clara admired her latest doorknob, smiling as she polished it to perfection.
"W-w-what? Oh, yes," Clara stuttered, switching to a larger model she picked up from a place called--Mockingbird Avenue? Street? Lane? She couldn't remember. But there was certainly something different about it.
Bertha continued. "Sounds reasonable. I'll call her first thing in the morning. That still leaves the entertainment portion."
"We could do a recitation. Those are very cultural," Mary suggested.
"Yes, but if Endora is handling the music, that leaves Arthur as the only one with a repetoire," Enchantra stated regretfully. "And we know how his
stories turn out."
"I'm sure we could find someone else to write something special for the occasion," Bertha said. "Someone who's not busy, someone who's nice
enough to take up the challenge . . . "
nice," said Clara, inspecting a doorknob with an intricate paisley pattern.
"Oh, Clara, how NICE of you to volunteer!" clapped Bertha.
"I . . . erm . . . what?"
"We'll be expecting your recitation. Enjoy writing it!" Bertha smiled. "Well, ladies, I think that takes care of everything. Let's have lunch in Paris today. The meeting is adjourned!"
The women disappeared in a poof of smoke, leaving behind a very befuddled Clara.
"Oh dear. Oh, dear me. I can't w-w-write my way out of a paper bag," she mourned. "I suppose I do know of some interesting things that happened to Samantha and her family, but to put them on paper? I can't even get simple spells right," Clara sighed.
"This is all your fault," she motioned to her bag of doorknobs, which, unbeknownst to her, began to emit a faint glow. "And I suppose you have a solution to get us out of this mess?"
A startled Clara jumped back a bit and blinked at the scroll that just landed beneath her feet.
"Why, that's never happened before . . ."
She carefully bent her elderly frame down in order to pick up the magical message. Unrolling it took some fumbling, but eventually the old witch managed.
"Oh dear, this doesn't seem like a story at all," she said, inspecting the text. "Clara, you've gone and witched the whole thing up again."
Still, she continued reading the strange words that made no sense whatsoever to her:
1. How do I submit a story, and when is the deadline?
The contest runs from August 7, 2009 to 11:59 PM EST on October 7, 2009. Post your story to the Bewitched section on fanfiction.net (link). If you don't already have a fanfiction.net account, sign up for one at link.
It can't be something that has been posted already anywhere on the Internet, and that includes new chapters to existing stories. It can be a sequel/prequel to a fanfiction already in existence, though- just don't post something as a "sequel" when it was pretty obviously originally going to be a new chapter in an existing story.
It must include "Bewitched Fan Fiction Contest Submission" in the summary (or something shorter- "BFFCS" is acceptable, for example).
2. How many times can I enter? Can I edit my submission on fanfiction.net after it's posted?
You can enter with as many stories as you want, and you can edit them as many times as you want once they're already posted on fanfiction.net, incorporating user feedback, reviews, or just because you want to. However, the final reviewed edit will be the one that is online by 11:59 PM EST on Wednesday, October 7, 2009. Therefore, in order to craft the best story possible, it would be wise to submit your fanfiction early and edit it as necessary.
3. What is allowed?
Though alternate universes, crossovers, slash, etc. are allowed, something that makes sense in the context of the "canon" is preferred, as they're usually easier to judge. However, if the story is truly amazing and well-written, anything goes- including more "mature" stories. It can be in story form, script form, or even poetry. There is no minimum or maximum length.
4. Proper grammar is expected. Getting someone else to proofread it usually helps.
5. What if it doesn't post on time or there are other technical difficulties with fanfiction.net?
Email your story to email@example.com by 11:59 PM EST on Wednesday, October 7, 2009.
6. Who judges the stories and when will the winners be announced?
Arfies, webmaster of Bewitched Fan Fiction (link) will judge all stories, which must be in English. The contest will be held due to the closure of historic Geocities, and the webmaster wishes to go out with a bang. There will be a 1st place, 2nd place, and 3rd place winner announced on or before Monday, October 12, 2009.
7. What are the fabulous prizes?
A pool of "Bewitched" and other 1960s TV memorabilia, including books, videos, magazines, and other collectibles will be distributed amongst the winners, with the 1st place winner getting first "dibs" and so forth. But the prizes aren't really the goal, anyway- it's to promote the writing of even more wonderful Bewitched fan fiction!
8. What if I have more questions or suggestions?
Just email firstname.lastname@example.org.
9. I'm totally psyched! What do I do next?
Reply to this post with the words, "I'm in!" Then, when your fan fiction is ready, post it!
"Well isn't that the strangest thing?" Clara said to herself, folding up the scroll. "I'm afraid I don't even know what h-h-half of this means," she stuttered. "And it seems awfully violent. 'Slash?' 'Bang?' 'Hit-tup wuwuwuh?' Oh d-d-dear... I certainly wish Samantha was back from her vacation with that nice mortal she's married to. She'd know what to do."
Suddenly, Clara remembered something Samantha had related to her. Her beloved niece had once been assigned to write a play about the American Civil War, and all of a sudden, characters from that era appeared to help her complete the task. An Indian, a Northern girl, and a Confederate officer (with his horse!) popped right into the Stephens' living room-- not to mention the den, the bedroom, and even a psychiatrist's office.
"That's it! I'll cast a spell!" Clara exclaimed, putting thoughts of any repercussions out of her mind (and made a mental note to return that strange new doorknob to its original home). She outstretched her arms, closed her eyes, and concentrated the best she could:
"Out of the cosmos, into the blue
Scroll, reach those you're intended to
So they may follow your advice
And I won't have to be so NICE!"
A bright light flashed, and Clara braced herself for an impending thunderclap. But instead, she heard a faint clicking sound in the distance . . .
WILL YOU HELP AUNT CLARA?