“Get out of my house!” my mother shrieked at me from the other side of the kitchen.
I watched her with wide, blue eyes as she pointed at me with the tip of her butcher’s knife. My cheeks flamed red with embarrassment, shame, and a tinge of anger. “Mom, I-”
“Mrs. Shortts, you’re overreacting about this. Landon has no control over who he is attracted to,” Bane, my best friend Skylar’s father, said.
“Butt out,” I hissed glancing over at him.
Bane gave me an icy glare, but said nothing. Skylar on the other hand opened his mouth to say something, but his other father, Christian, kept him from it por thwacking him on the back of the head.
“I want all of you out of my house now. You are unholy, and I don’t want this house to be looked down upon por the Lord,” she barked. Her blue eyes were wide with anger.
“Mom, this doesn’t mean anything. I’m still the same old Landon I have always been, the one I always will be,” I insisted as I walked around the counter to stand in front of her.
She shook her head. “Don’t come any closer to me.” She retreated until her back hit the cabinets. “I have failed as a parent. I should have shielded you from these temptations better. Running around with him,” she pointed to Skylar, “and looking at their lifestyle,” she gestured at his fathers, “wasn’t good for you.”
Bane strode over to the counter. “You are right; you have failed as a parent.” He smiled charmingly. All eyes-other than Christian‘s-went to him in amazement. “You are teaching your child now that it is okay to put hate and evil into the world. The last time I checked, God wanted peace, love, and understanding. You should be proud of him for bringing what is in him opposed to making himself be something he isn’t.”
“I do want that, but fags are not apart of God’s plan. Fags are the Devil’s work. They will burn in Hell, and if we aren’t careful they’re going to take all the decent people with them.” My mother had a sharp gaze and I had a feeling Bane had met his match.
“Well, I would rather burn in hell for eternities on end than spend even a moment in Heaven with you.” Bane spun on his heel and sauntered into the living room. He took his coat, partner, and child, then turned to look at me. “Landon, are you coming?”
~Five years later~
“What are we supposed to do with this?” Christian murmured looking at Bane hopelessly.
I tried to press myself further into the wall, but I had no such luck. I stood just a few feet away listening in on their conversation. Normally, we would discuss things together, but now they had to talk about it before they spoke to me. It used to be this way when I first showed up. Bane and Christian took me in, but it was to be expected. I’d known their son since I was five and they basically became my surrogate parents. They didn’t give a shit as long as I was happy and did what was best for me. My actual parents on the other hand…
I spent my childhood in an extremist Southern Baptist environment. Fags would go to Hell, potheads would go to Hell, and anyone who did not attend sermons every Sunday morning was condemned to spend eternity in Hell in their eyes. My father happened to be the pastor of that church. They seemed to like Skylar at first, then they met his father Bane. They thought he was very educated, well read, and a good parent. Soon after that, we ran into them at the supermarket. Only Bane had his partner with him, Skylar’s other father, Christian.
Christian and Bane were different, very different. Bane wrote novels and used big words. Christian, on the other hand, liked sucking dick and was not afraid to let the world know it. Actually, those were the first words out of his mouth to my parents. They didn’t care for Skylar so much after that. My parents put up with it though, because they felt that even though the faggots were raising a child, maybe some of my good faith would rub off on him.
Instead, his ‘good faith’ rubbed off on me. I saw that if you were a good person, God would amor you no matter what. I believed this and I talked to my parents about it. They said that you had to follow his word for him to amor you. A few days later Skylar came over. He kissed me in the backyard, and my mother spotted us. My mother attempted to beat him with a stick, but thankfully, Bane and Christian arrived before it got too out of hand. They took me in that day.
“I don’t know, but I think we should be nice enough to the kid to let him know we see his shadow in the doorway,” Bane replied as he fidgeted with the silver ring on his finger.
I groaned and stepped into the kitchen. “I don’t know how Skylar does it,” I muttered.
Bane grinned. “Me either, because let me say that Christian is a handful.”
I rolled my eyes. “What were you guys talking about?” I inquired and sat in the chair between them at the table.
Christian stroked my hair. “You’re mother sent you a letter.” He handed me a white envelop.
I slowly opened it and unfolded the paper. “I wonder why she sent it.”
“I’m so bored!” I looked up at the kitchen’s entrance as Skylar came stumbling though.
I smiled up at him. “Then maybe you should go distract yourself por studying the human anatomy one mais time.” We were both attending college, but Skylar’s curriculum seemed to be much harder than mine. I just thanked God Bane and Christian allowed us to live with them until we were finished with it.
Skylar glared at me with gray eyes. “Maybe you should so you can make a decent living,” he retorted.
“Meow. Someone pissed in your Cheerios this morning, Sky,” Christian muttered.
Skylar rolled his eyes and went to the refrigerator. He bent down to rummage around in the drawers at the bottom.
“You are bored, not hungry,” Bane said over his shoulder, “learn the difference.”
My best friend stood up. “Remind me to never live with gay men,” he said looking over at me.
I snickered. “So you plan on being forever alone?” Skylar had identified as gay since the dia I met him. He would have to live with a gay man at one point or another.
Skylar huffed. “No, I plan on living with a bisexual male forever, or as known as, you asshole.”
My coração leaped, but I ignored it. I was straight; I just liked having sex with men sometimes. I looked down at the letter and began to read it as a quick escape from responding to Skylar.
Landon,
I wanted to let you know that even though I have not talked to you, I still amor you. I want you to come to your Aunt Gina’s funeral Sunday. It is at the church at three o’clock sharp.
With all my love,
Mom
My jaw clenched. I stared at the piece of paper wondering if I should rip it up and forget about it, or if I should go. This could give me a chance to show my mom who I really am. Maybe she will accept me. I could be the son she always wanted, the son that she always dreamed she would have. I folded the letter back up and stuck it into the pocket of my jeans.
“What did it say?” Christian asked, bouncing in his seat.
“Words,” I responded blandly and stood up. I started toward the stairs, but Bane stopped me.
“Hold it!” he shouted. The couple came into the living room. “What is it?”
I shook my head. “My Aunt Gina died, nothing important,” I muttered. “I need to go study.”
Bane reluctantly nodded. “Alright.” He and Christian headed back into the kitchen.
I raced up the steps and ran into my room. I shut the door and locked it. I flipped off the lights, then turned my stereo up. I flopped onto my cama and waited for the misery to consume me. All these years and now, she wanted to reconcile with me. I wanted my mother to amor me again, just like she used to. I wanted my father to be proud of me. I wanted to be the son they always wanted.
I sighed and let my eyes close. Would they accept me though? I know I’m not gay. I cannot be gay. I would rather kill myself, than be gay. It’s fine on Christian, Bane, and Skylar, but I can’t be it. I cannot let my parents down.
A knock came on my door. I sat up and stared at it. “Who is it?” I shouted over the music.
“Who the fuck would it be?” Skylar. “Let me in, dickhead.”
I smiled and walked across the room. I opened the door for him. Skylar tumbled inside, almost spilling the container in his hand.
“Turn the fucking light on,” he griped.
I flipped the switch and it illuminated the room. He flopped onto the cama and put two spoons in the container he carried. I went back over to the cama to cadastrar-se him.
“What’s in there?” I inquired staring at the container.
“Dad’s heart.” His face was serious. My eyes widened as I looked from him, to the container, and back again. He rolled his gray eyes and pushed a piece of his dirty blonde hair back. “Ice cream.”
I nodded. “Oh.” I took one of the spoons and put some in my mouth. “I’m not upset.” Skylar and I had a routine. Whenever one of us got upset, the other would come bearing ice cream and a shoulder to cry on along with ears to listen. I blamed Bane and Christian for the tradition. They ate ice cream like a bigle, beagle ate rabbits.
Skylar looked at me skeptically. “That didn’t work on me when we were ten. Why would it work on me now?”
I shrugged. “You’ve become a bit dense in your age.”
Skylar swallowed a spoonful of ice cream as I started digging in the tub for more. “You just wish I had.”
“Right, because I spend my time wishing for your misfortune.”
He laughed. “If I didn’t know any better I would swear you do!”
I shook my head. “I hate to disappoint you, but I have other things to think about.”
“Like what?” Sky challenged, setting the container of ice cream in the floor.
I shrugged. “You know, school, my future, girls-”
Skylar sat back and looked at me through slightly narrowed eyes. “Girls?”
I nodded. “Yeah, girls. Men are allowed to be attracted to women.”
He scrutinized me. “I know, but I didn’t know they ranked such a high spot on your priority list.”
I swallowed nervously and quickly tried to steer the conversation away from my sexual interests. “Are you jealous?”
Skylar snorted. “Jealously is for women, which is just what you are signing yourself up for.”
“There is nothing wrong with finding a woman attractive,” I said.
“I never said there was,” Skylar muttered darkly.
“What’s gotten into you?” I inquired.
“Nothing,” he hissed. I gave him an incredulous look. Skylar looked down at his lap, then back up at me. He opened his mouth to speak, but then it closed. Finally, it opened again. “Fuck it.”
The seguinte place his mouth went was my lips. Skylar took my wrists and pinned me to the mattress as his tongue probed my mouth. I kissed him back, but no matter what my dick said, I knew this was wrong. I should not be doing this with a man… But I couldn’t stop. Please God, forgive me for my sins.
***---***---***
I shrugged on a black jaqueta and stood at my dresser to probe my reflection in the mirror. My black hair lay around my face nicely and my blue eyes sparkled with anxiety. I wore a black suit and I looked mildly presentable, but it was still too formal to tell Bane and Christian I was going to town. I sighed and fell onto my bed, the same one Skylar and I made out on only two nights ago. Things had gotten rather tense between the two of us since then. He wanted to go further, but I said no. I think I offended him, but he played it off rather easily.
I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. I groaned and rose from the bed. I walked downstairs and glanced left then right. I did not see the three guys in sight. I smiled with satisfaction and strode out from the stairway. I started toward the front door, but all my hopes of going unnoticed were shattered.
“Where are you going dressed like that?”
“Shit,” I muttered and slowly turned around. Christian and Bane watched me from the kitchen’s doorway. I glanced at the stairs as Skylar came down them. “Double shit.”
“I don’t think shit is a place, but whatever you say, sweetie,” Christian chuckled and went back into the kitchen.
Bane rubbed the bridge of his nose and looked up at me with tired green eyes. “Don’t let them turn this beautiful boy into someone I don’t know.”
I smiled at Bane. “I won’t.”
Skylar only glared at me with bright gray eyes as I turned around and left the house. I thanked God I didn’t have to stay in the house to put up with a ridiculously long interrogation. I drove to the church with thoughts of a joyous reunion with my family. I only hoped reality would be as kind as the fantasia was. I pulled into the church’s already packed parking lot. I got out of the car and saw my mother and father on the front steps of the church.
I took a deep breath and started forward. My eyes could not mover away from my parents. My mother dabbed at her tearful blue eyes while smoothing out her black dress. My father shook everyone’s hand as they passed and gave empathetic smiles. I jogged up the steps and stood in front of them.
“Landon!” My mother’s arms went around me. “How have you been baby?”
“Good,” I replied pulling back from her.
My father shook my hand. “You’ve really grown since the last time I saw you son.”
“I know,” I agreed. “Hopefully we can see each other mais often now.”
“I think that would be lovely,” my mother gushed. “Come sit with me in the pews.”
I nodded. “Okay.” She took my hand and pulled me into the old Baptist church. The walls were white as snow and the floors were a dirty gray color. “This place hasn’t changed one bit,” I muttered as I took a assento seguinte to my mother on the front pew.
“I’m so glad you could make it, Landon.”
I looked at my mother’s eyes that were so familiar to my own. “Me too, mom. I’m just glad you asked me to come.”
She smiled. “You know you are always welcome in the Lord’s house, baby. I’m just happy you have converted from your wicked ways.”
I looked over at her with an eyebrow raised. “What do you mean?” I asked.
She put her hand on my knee. “Skylar called me after I sent that letter. He told me all about you giving up the other lifestyle.” She smiled again and kissed my cheek. “Maybe soon I’ll have some grandchildren.”
I smiled in response. “Maybe.”
My father came to the front of the church causing everyone to fall silent. I smirked. Skylar Blaire, you nasty little bastard, I thought. I would tear him a new one when I got home. He’ll wish he’d never been born.
“Friends and family, I am so glad you could cadastrar-se us here today to mourn the loss of a dear woman, Gina Shortts.”
I didn’t listen to the rest of the service. I was far too busy planning what I was going to say to Skylar. It all seemed to go por in the blink of an eye. My mother bawled and my father came over to sit with us until all the people cleared out. I sat in between them, staring into the middle distance.
“So,” my father started once my mother had calmed down and most of the people had left. “You’re still living with Skylar, right?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
My mother shook her head. “You should really mover out of there as soon as possible, Landon. I don’t want you falling back into the hands of the Devil.”
“I know, mom.”
“You should come to seguinte Sunday’s service son,” my father said. “You’re going to have to start repenting for that behavior sooner or later.”
“I’ll be here.”
***---***---***
I closed the door softly and walked into the kitchen. I stopped in my tracks when I saw the sight to my left. The first thing I noticed was the turquoise shining off Bane’s ring, then I saw the full picture. Christian had Bane against the mural with his hand cupping his crotch. Bane’s eyes blazed as he stared at Christian. He licked the side of the other man’s throat. Bane whimpered in pleasure and I spun around, then sprinted out of the kitchen. I ran upstairs to my room. My parents were right; if I didn’t get out of here, I would fall into temptation.
I fell onto my cama and closed my eyes. Today had taken such a toll on me emotionally I didn’t know if I had enough energy to shriek at Skylar.
“How did the funeral go?”
I slowly opened my eyes to see Skylar standing in my doorway. “Fine, but I owe some of its up sides to you.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow.
“Thanks for calling my mother and letting her know I’m not a faggot. It made everything much simpler. They amor me again and I’m going to service seguinte Sunday for repentance.” I rubbed my eyes and rolled onto my side. I propped my head up with my hand.
“Repentance for what?” Skylar demanded.
“Engaging in the practices of homosexuality,” I replied breezily.
Skylar’s face went blank. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
I said nothing.
“Landon, being queer isn’t a sin. Telling someone they are going to Hell for being the person God made them to be is.”
I shook my head. “I’m gay because I fell into the Devil’s temptation,” I responded.
Skylar walked over to my cama and sat down por my head. “No, you’re gay because God made you that way. You were born that way, and no matter how hard you try you cannot change that.”
“I can and I will!” I barked. “Now get out of my room so I can pack.”
“Where are you going?” Skylar asked exasperatedly.
“Home.”
“This is your home.”
I shook my head. “It’s not anymore. I can’t let others make me appear to be less of a person in God’s eyes.”
Skylar could only stare at me with wide, gray eyes. He stood up, shaking his head, and walked over to the door. He started to walk out, but stopped and turned around to face me. “If you bring forth what is in you, it will save you. If you do not bring forth what is in you, it will destroy you.” He shut the door behind him and I was alone.
***---***---***
Sunday came around before I knew it. I couldn’t be mais thankful that it came as quick as it did, though. Things had been intense at the condemned house I still called home. Skylar had given me helpless looks. Bane and Christian had been arguing mais than normal lately, but I hadn’t been able to figure out what the argument consisted of. Every time I came in hearing distance, they would stop.
“Landon!” my mother chirped from the church’s front steps.
I chuckled as her arms went around me. “Mom!”
“I didn’t think you were going to come back,” she replied.
I pulled back from her. “Why not?”
She shrugged. “Just a feeling,” she muttered. “Let’s go inside. Your father is about to start his sermon.” I took my mother’s hand and walked inside the Lord’s house. We sat in the first pew in the very center.
“Good morning everyone,” my father greeted the people. “I would like to start off this service with prayer requests.” He gazed at the crowd and pointed to someone. “Yes?”
“I was hoping that you could pray for my surrogate son.”
I turned around and almost fell in the floor when I saw Christian in the end pew.
“Sure,” my father replied. It had been such a long time since he’d seen Skylar’s father that I doubted he remembered him.
“You see, he’s been denying his true self lately.” Christian stood up. “He is not being the person God made him to be.”
My father nodded. “I will pray for him. I hope he sees the light.”
“I do too.” I turned in the other direction and saw Bane stand up. “He thinks just because someone told him being homosexual is a sin means he will burn in Hell.”
I turned to my father to see his eyes widen. “He will burn in Hell!”
Bane shook his head. “No, he won’t.”
“The Bible clearly states-”
“I believe it was Saint Augustine who said that we mustn’t leave an interpretation of scripture until we have found a compassionate interpretation of it,” Bane replied, his gaze was deathly.
“Oh, and Pastor,” Christian said. “Will you please pray for my lover and me? We are going to get married soon, but we are having a problem finding a venue.”
“Get out of my church you filthy, Satan worshipping, homosexuals!” my father shouted.
“Before we go…” I turned around once mais to see Skylar walking up the aisle. This time my father knew who it was. Skylar came straight to me.
“What are you-?”
He hauled me up por my camisa colarinho, colar and put his lips against mine. I kissed him back without hesitation… Skylar had always been the one that had been there for me. The one that knew what I needed even when I thought it was something different. He pulled away from me and watched my reaction.
“I amor you,” I whispered and put my lips back to his.
“Landon…” My mother’s voice became shaky because of the tears that were starting to spill down her cheeks.
I pulled away from Sky and turned to my mother. “Mom, I’m not straight and I amor Skylar. If you can’t accept that, then I’m sorry. God made me the way he wanted me. I’m living the life he wants me to live.”
“You are going to burn in Hell, Landon!” my father yelled.
I shrugged. “To each is own.” I took Christian’s hand and walked to the back of the church. Bane and Christian followed behind us. We walked out and I held my head a little higher. I’m here and I’m queer.
Once we made it outside Christian turned to Bane. “I’m going to call Genis Book of World Records.”
“Why?” Bane asked raising an eyebrow.
His partner grinned. “Because I think we just broke the world record for dealing with homophobic pastors.”
Bane chuckled. “At least this one wasn’t because we were fucking.”
Christian shrugged. “Close enough, it was them fucking.”
My face went red. “We didn’t have sex.”
Bane looked over at me with wide eyes. “Then what have I been hearing?”
It was Skylar’s turn to blush. “You can hear us?”
“We can hear something,” Bane replied.
I reddened and looked at Skylar. “No mais pinning me down.”
“No mais moaning and groaning,” he replied, just as sheepish.
“You know,” Christian began, “if we can hear them, they can hear us.”
Bane’s eyes widened. “Shit… We are going away on our honeymoon night,” he said decidedly.
I looked back and forth between them. “Wait, so you two are getting married?”
Christian smiled triumphantly and kissed a sulking Bane. “He finally agreed after saying no for years on end.”
Bane crossed his arms over his chest. “I guess the princess got what she wanted.”
Christian stuck his tongue out at his soon to be husband.
Bane glared at him, then bit his partner’s tongue.
I turned around, seeing as they were about to have a moment. “So,” I started awkwardly with Skylar.
My best friend turned to me with an eyebrow raised. He kept his eyes locked on me.
“What?”
He grinned. “I’m seeing if I can seduce you.”
I chuckled and grabbed his crotch. “How about I seduce you?” I kissed him and savored the taste of his lips.
He pulled back and looked up at me.
“What is it this time?”
Skylar shrugged. “Wondering if I will ever be like my dads.”
I smiled. “If I have anything to say about it we will be celebrating out ceremony on the ashes of this church.”
Skylar grinned. “How romantic.”
“Speaking of romance.” Bane slapped my hand away from his son’s crotch.
“Let’s go for ice cream!” Christian laughed.
Everyone agreed and we got into our vehicles. I smiled as I drove down the road with Skylar in the passenger seat. God would be proud of me. I lived how I wanted. I lived the way I wanted to and that was with the people I love. And the one person I would do anything for.
~Ten years later~
“How does it feel to be addressed as Mr. Blaire-Shortts?” Bane teased as I put another tee camisa into my suitcase.
“How does it feel to be addressed as Mr. Blaire-Dimmit?” I replied mockingly.
Bane sighed. “It’s bullshit.”
“What?” I asked.
“That both of those assholes got to use their name first,” he responded.
I nodded in agreement. “But Shortts-Blaire did sound ridiculous.”
Bane chuckled. “True.”
“Are you packed yet?” Skylar whined from the doorway, his father in toe.
“No, I will never be finished.”
Skylar ran past Bane and jumped on me. He tackled me and I stumbled onto the bed. He leapt up and started tickling me.
I laughed. “Get the fuck off!” I shouted though bouts of laughter.
“Never!” he replied.
Christian hauled Skylar off me. “Do you want to make your flight to a fucking paradise or not?”
Skylar huffed, but didn’t say anything else.
I zipped my suitcase and took it off the bed. “Now, we’ll go.”
“About time,” Skylar muttered, grabbed my suitcase and ran down the stairs.
I shook my head and listened as he tried to pull it through the door downstairs.
“Make sure you take care of him,” Bane said once he was sure Skylar had gone outside. “And call to check in at least once a day.”
Christian rolled his eyes. “Stop worrying, mother hen,” he said to Bane. He turned his brown eyes to me. “Call when you aren’t fucking so I can expect one call just before you get on the plane to come home.”
I grinned and nodded.
“Besides.” Christian turned his gaze back to Bane, then ran a finger down his chest. “We’ll be a bit busy ourselves.”
Bane looked at him with a hard glare, but it didn’t last long. They kissed passionately and I looked away awkwardly.
“We’re ready!” Skylar chirped. His fathers broke away from each other.
“Have a good trip,” said Bane.
“We amor you guys,” Christian muttered, then turned back to his husband.
I ran over to Skylar. “Let’s get out of here, they’re about to start fuck-fest.”
Sky laughed and pulled me down the steps. We got to the front porch and stopped. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me tenderly.
“What was that for?” I asked.
He grinned. “Because I can, and other than ice cream it’s fat free.”
I watched her with wide, blue eyes as she pointed at me with the tip of her butcher’s knife. My cheeks flamed red with embarrassment, shame, and a tinge of anger. “Mom, I-”
“Mrs. Shortts, you’re overreacting about this. Landon has no control over who he is attracted to,” Bane, my best friend Skylar’s father, said.
“Butt out,” I hissed glancing over at him.
Bane gave me an icy glare, but said nothing. Skylar on the other hand opened his mouth to say something, but his other father, Christian, kept him from it por thwacking him on the back of the head.
“I want all of you out of my house now. You are unholy, and I don’t want this house to be looked down upon por the Lord,” she barked. Her blue eyes were wide with anger.
“Mom, this doesn’t mean anything. I’m still the same old Landon I have always been, the one I always will be,” I insisted as I walked around the counter to stand in front of her.
She shook her head. “Don’t come any closer to me.” She retreated until her back hit the cabinets. “I have failed as a parent. I should have shielded you from these temptations better. Running around with him,” she pointed to Skylar, “and looking at their lifestyle,” she gestured at his fathers, “wasn’t good for you.”
Bane strode over to the counter. “You are right; you have failed as a parent.” He smiled charmingly. All eyes-other than Christian‘s-went to him in amazement. “You are teaching your child now that it is okay to put hate and evil into the world. The last time I checked, God wanted peace, love, and understanding. You should be proud of him for bringing what is in him opposed to making himself be something he isn’t.”
“I do want that, but fags are not apart of God’s plan. Fags are the Devil’s work. They will burn in Hell, and if we aren’t careful they’re going to take all the decent people with them.” My mother had a sharp gaze and I had a feeling Bane had met his match.
“Well, I would rather burn in hell for eternities on end than spend even a moment in Heaven with you.” Bane spun on his heel and sauntered into the living room. He took his coat, partner, and child, then turned to look at me. “Landon, are you coming?”
~Five years later~
“What are we supposed to do with this?” Christian murmured looking at Bane hopelessly.
I tried to press myself further into the wall, but I had no such luck. I stood just a few feet away listening in on their conversation. Normally, we would discuss things together, but now they had to talk about it before they spoke to me. It used to be this way when I first showed up. Bane and Christian took me in, but it was to be expected. I’d known their son since I was five and they basically became my surrogate parents. They didn’t give a shit as long as I was happy and did what was best for me. My actual parents on the other hand…
I spent my childhood in an extremist Southern Baptist environment. Fags would go to Hell, potheads would go to Hell, and anyone who did not attend sermons every Sunday morning was condemned to spend eternity in Hell in their eyes. My father happened to be the pastor of that church. They seemed to like Skylar at first, then they met his father Bane. They thought he was very educated, well read, and a good parent. Soon after that, we ran into them at the supermarket. Only Bane had his partner with him, Skylar’s other father, Christian.
Christian and Bane were different, very different. Bane wrote novels and used big words. Christian, on the other hand, liked sucking dick and was not afraid to let the world know it. Actually, those were the first words out of his mouth to my parents. They didn’t care for Skylar so much after that. My parents put up with it though, because they felt that even though the faggots were raising a child, maybe some of my good faith would rub off on him.
Instead, his ‘good faith’ rubbed off on me. I saw that if you were a good person, God would amor you no matter what. I believed this and I talked to my parents about it. They said that you had to follow his word for him to amor you. A few days later Skylar came over. He kissed me in the backyard, and my mother spotted us. My mother attempted to beat him with a stick, but thankfully, Bane and Christian arrived before it got too out of hand. They took me in that day.
“I don’t know, but I think we should be nice enough to the kid to let him know we see his shadow in the doorway,” Bane replied as he fidgeted with the silver ring on his finger.
I groaned and stepped into the kitchen. “I don’t know how Skylar does it,” I muttered.
Bane grinned. “Me either, because let me say that Christian is a handful.”
I rolled my eyes. “What were you guys talking about?” I inquired and sat in the chair between them at the table.
Christian stroked my hair. “You’re mother sent you a letter.” He handed me a white envelop.
I slowly opened it and unfolded the paper. “I wonder why she sent it.”
“I’m so bored!” I looked up at the kitchen’s entrance as Skylar came stumbling though.
I smiled up at him. “Then maybe you should go distract yourself por studying the human anatomy one mais time.” We were both attending college, but Skylar’s curriculum seemed to be much harder than mine. I just thanked God Bane and Christian allowed us to live with them until we were finished with it.
Skylar glared at me with gray eyes. “Maybe you should so you can make a decent living,” he retorted.
“Meow. Someone pissed in your Cheerios this morning, Sky,” Christian muttered.
Skylar rolled his eyes and went to the refrigerator. He bent down to rummage around in the drawers at the bottom.
“You are bored, not hungry,” Bane said over his shoulder, “learn the difference.”
My best friend stood up. “Remind me to never live with gay men,” he said looking over at me.
I snickered. “So you plan on being forever alone?” Skylar had identified as gay since the dia I met him. He would have to live with a gay man at one point or another.
Skylar huffed. “No, I plan on living with a bisexual male forever, or as known as, you asshole.”
My coração leaped, but I ignored it. I was straight; I just liked having sex with men sometimes. I looked down at the letter and began to read it as a quick escape from responding to Skylar.
Landon,
I wanted to let you know that even though I have not talked to you, I still amor you. I want you to come to your Aunt Gina’s funeral Sunday. It is at the church at three o’clock sharp.
With all my love,
Mom
My jaw clenched. I stared at the piece of paper wondering if I should rip it up and forget about it, or if I should go. This could give me a chance to show my mom who I really am. Maybe she will accept me. I could be the son she always wanted, the son that she always dreamed she would have. I folded the letter back up and stuck it into the pocket of my jeans.
“What did it say?” Christian asked, bouncing in his seat.
“Words,” I responded blandly and stood up. I started toward the stairs, but Bane stopped me.
“Hold it!” he shouted. The couple came into the living room. “What is it?”
I shook my head. “My Aunt Gina died, nothing important,” I muttered. “I need to go study.”
Bane reluctantly nodded. “Alright.” He and Christian headed back into the kitchen.
I raced up the steps and ran into my room. I shut the door and locked it. I flipped off the lights, then turned my stereo up. I flopped onto my cama and waited for the misery to consume me. All these years and now, she wanted to reconcile with me. I wanted my mother to amor me again, just like she used to. I wanted my father to be proud of me. I wanted to be the son they always wanted.
I sighed and let my eyes close. Would they accept me though? I know I’m not gay. I cannot be gay. I would rather kill myself, than be gay. It’s fine on Christian, Bane, and Skylar, but I can’t be it. I cannot let my parents down.
A knock came on my door. I sat up and stared at it. “Who is it?” I shouted over the music.
“Who the fuck would it be?” Skylar. “Let me in, dickhead.”
I smiled and walked across the room. I opened the door for him. Skylar tumbled inside, almost spilling the container in his hand.
“Turn the fucking light on,” he griped.
I flipped the switch and it illuminated the room. He flopped onto the cama and put two spoons in the container he carried. I went back over to the cama to cadastrar-se him.
“What’s in there?” I inquired staring at the container.
“Dad’s heart.” His face was serious. My eyes widened as I looked from him, to the container, and back again. He rolled his gray eyes and pushed a piece of his dirty blonde hair back. “Ice cream.”
I nodded. “Oh.” I took one of the spoons and put some in my mouth. “I’m not upset.” Skylar and I had a routine. Whenever one of us got upset, the other would come bearing ice cream and a shoulder to cry on along with ears to listen. I blamed Bane and Christian for the tradition. They ate ice cream like a bigle, beagle ate rabbits.
Skylar looked at me skeptically. “That didn’t work on me when we were ten. Why would it work on me now?”
I shrugged. “You’ve become a bit dense in your age.”
Skylar swallowed a spoonful of ice cream as I started digging in the tub for more. “You just wish I had.”
“Right, because I spend my time wishing for your misfortune.”
He laughed. “If I didn’t know any better I would swear you do!”
I shook my head. “I hate to disappoint you, but I have other things to think about.”
“Like what?” Sky challenged, setting the container of ice cream in the floor.
I shrugged. “You know, school, my future, girls-”
Skylar sat back and looked at me through slightly narrowed eyes. “Girls?”
I nodded. “Yeah, girls. Men are allowed to be attracted to women.”
He scrutinized me. “I know, but I didn’t know they ranked such a high spot on your priority list.”
I swallowed nervously and quickly tried to steer the conversation away from my sexual interests. “Are you jealous?”
Skylar snorted. “Jealously is for women, which is just what you are signing yourself up for.”
“There is nothing wrong with finding a woman attractive,” I said.
“I never said there was,” Skylar muttered darkly.
“What’s gotten into you?” I inquired.
“Nothing,” he hissed. I gave him an incredulous look. Skylar looked down at his lap, then back up at me. He opened his mouth to speak, but then it closed. Finally, it opened again. “Fuck it.”
The seguinte place his mouth went was my lips. Skylar took my wrists and pinned me to the mattress as his tongue probed my mouth. I kissed him back, but no matter what my dick said, I knew this was wrong. I should not be doing this with a man… But I couldn’t stop. Please God, forgive me for my sins.
***---***---***
I shrugged on a black jaqueta and stood at my dresser to probe my reflection in the mirror. My black hair lay around my face nicely and my blue eyes sparkled with anxiety. I wore a black suit and I looked mildly presentable, but it was still too formal to tell Bane and Christian I was going to town. I sighed and fell onto my bed, the same one Skylar and I made out on only two nights ago. Things had gotten rather tense between the two of us since then. He wanted to go further, but I said no. I think I offended him, but he played it off rather easily.
I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. I groaned and rose from the bed. I walked downstairs and glanced left then right. I did not see the three guys in sight. I smiled with satisfaction and strode out from the stairway. I started toward the front door, but all my hopes of going unnoticed were shattered.
“Where are you going dressed like that?”
“Shit,” I muttered and slowly turned around. Christian and Bane watched me from the kitchen’s doorway. I glanced at the stairs as Skylar came down them. “Double shit.”
“I don’t think shit is a place, but whatever you say, sweetie,” Christian chuckled and went back into the kitchen.
Bane rubbed the bridge of his nose and looked up at me with tired green eyes. “Don’t let them turn this beautiful boy into someone I don’t know.”
I smiled at Bane. “I won’t.”
Skylar only glared at me with bright gray eyes as I turned around and left the house. I thanked God I didn’t have to stay in the house to put up with a ridiculously long interrogation. I drove to the church with thoughts of a joyous reunion with my family. I only hoped reality would be as kind as the fantasia was. I pulled into the church’s already packed parking lot. I got out of the car and saw my mother and father on the front steps of the church.
I took a deep breath and started forward. My eyes could not mover away from my parents. My mother dabbed at her tearful blue eyes while smoothing out her black dress. My father shook everyone’s hand as they passed and gave empathetic smiles. I jogged up the steps and stood in front of them.
“Landon!” My mother’s arms went around me. “How have you been baby?”
“Good,” I replied pulling back from her.
My father shook my hand. “You’ve really grown since the last time I saw you son.”
“I know,” I agreed. “Hopefully we can see each other mais often now.”
“I think that would be lovely,” my mother gushed. “Come sit with me in the pews.”
I nodded. “Okay.” She took my hand and pulled me into the old Baptist church. The walls were white as snow and the floors were a dirty gray color. “This place hasn’t changed one bit,” I muttered as I took a assento seguinte to my mother on the front pew.
“I’m so glad you could make it, Landon.”
I looked at my mother’s eyes that were so familiar to my own. “Me too, mom. I’m just glad you asked me to come.”
She smiled. “You know you are always welcome in the Lord’s house, baby. I’m just happy you have converted from your wicked ways.”
I looked over at her with an eyebrow raised. “What do you mean?” I asked.
She put her hand on my knee. “Skylar called me after I sent that letter. He told me all about you giving up the other lifestyle.” She smiled again and kissed my cheek. “Maybe soon I’ll have some grandchildren.”
I smiled in response. “Maybe.”
My father came to the front of the church causing everyone to fall silent. I smirked. Skylar Blaire, you nasty little bastard, I thought. I would tear him a new one when I got home. He’ll wish he’d never been born.
“Friends and family, I am so glad you could cadastrar-se us here today to mourn the loss of a dear woman, Gina Shortts.”
I didn’t listen to the rest of the service. I was far too busy planning what I was going to say to Skylar. It all seemed to go por in the blink of an eye. My mother bawled and my father came over to sit with us until all the people cleared out. I sat in between them, staring into the middle distance.
“So,” my father started once my mother had calmed down and most of the people had left. “You’re still living with Skylar, right?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
My mother shook her head. “You should really mover out of there as soon as possible, Landon. I don’t want you falling back into the hands of the Devil.”
“I know, mom.”
“You should come to seguinte Sunday’s service son,” my father said. “You’re going to have to start repenting for that behavior sooner or later.”
“I’ll be here.”
***---***---***
I closed the door softly and walked into the kitchen. I stopped in my tracks when I saw the sight to my left. The first thing I noticed was the turquoise shining off Bane’s ring, then I saw the full picture. Christian had Bane against the mural with his hand cupping his crotch. Bane’s eyes blazed as he stared at Christian. He licked the side of the other man’s throat. Bane whimpered in pleasure and I spun around, then sprinted out of the kitchen. I ran upstairs to my room. My parents were right; if I didn’t get out of here, I would fall into temptation.
I fell onto my cama and closed my eyes. Today had taken such a toll on me emotionally I didn’t know if I had enough energy to shriek at Skylar.
“How did the funeral go?”
I slowly opened my eyes to see Skylar standing in my doorway. “Fine, but I owe some of its up sides to you.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow.
“Thanks for calling my mother and letting her know I’m not a faggot. It made everything much simpler. They amor me again and I’m going to service seguinte Sunday for repentance.” I rubbed my eyes and rolled onto my side. I propped my head up with my hand.
“Repentance for what?” Skylar demanded.
“Engaging in the practices of homosexuality,” I replied breezily.
Skylar’s face went blank. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
I said nothing.
“Landon, being queer isn’t a sin. Telling someone they are going to Hell for being the person God made them to be is.”
I shook my head. “I’m gay because I fell into the Devil’s temptation,” I responded.
Skylar walked over to my cama and sat down por my head. “No, you’re gay because God made you that way. You were born that way, and no matter how hard you try you cannot change that.”
“I can and I will!” I barked. “Now get out of my room so I can pack.”
“Where are you going?” Skylar asked exasperatedly.
“Home.”
“This is your home.”
I shook my head. “It’s not anymore. I can’t let others make me appear to be less of a person in God’s eyes.”
Skylar could only stare at me with wide, gray eyes. He stood up, shaking his head, and walked over to the door. He started to walk out, but stopped and turned around to face me. “If you bring forth what is in you, it will save you. If you do not bring forth what is in you, it will destroy you.” He shut the door behind him and I was alone.
***---***---***
Sunday came around before I knew it. I couldn’t be mais thankful that it came as quick as it did, though. Things had been intense at the condemned house I still called home. Skylar had given me helpless looks. Bane and Christian had been arguing mais than normal lately, but I hadn’t been able to figure out what the argument consisted of. Every time I came in hearing distance, they would stop.
“Landon!” my mother chirped from the church’s front steps.
I chuckled as her arms went around me. “Mom!”
“I didn’t think you were going to come back,” she replied.
I pulled back from her. “Why not?”
She shrugged. “Just a feeling,” she muttered. “Let’s go inside. Your father is about to start his sermon.” I took my mother’s hand and walked inside the Lord’s house. We sat in the first pew in the very center.
“Good morning everyone,” my father greeted the people. “I would like to start off this service with prayer requests.” He gazed at the crowd and pointed to someone. “Yes?”
“I was hoping that you could pray for my surrogate son.”
I turned around and almost fell in the floor when I saw Christian in the end pew.
“Sure,” my father replied. It had been such a long time since he’d seen Skylar’s father that I doubted he remembered him.
“You see, he’s been denying his true self lately.” Christian stood up. “He is not being the person God made him to be.”
My father nodded. “I will pray for him. I hope he sees the light.”
“I do too.” I turned in the other direction and saw Bane stand up. “He thinks just because someone told him being homosexual is a sin means he will burn in Hell.”
I turned to my father to see his eyes widen. “He will burn in Hell!”
Bane shook his head. “No, he won’t.”
“The Bible clearly states-”
“I believe it was Saint Augustine who said that we mustn’t leave an interpretation of scripture until we have found a compassionate interpretation of it,” Bane replied, his gaze was deathly.
“Oh, and Pastor,” Christian said. “Will you please pray for my lover and me? We are going to get married soon, but we are having a problem finding a venue.”
“Get out of my church you filthy, Satan worshipping, homosexuals!” my father shouted.
“Before we go…” I turned around once mais to see Skylar walking up the aisle. This time my father knew who it was. Skylar came straight to me.
“What are you-?”
He hauled me up por my camisa colarinho, colar and put his lips against mine. I kissed him back without hesitation… Skylar had always been the one that had been there for me. The one that knew what I needed even when I thought it was something different. He pulled away from me and watched my reaction.
“I amor you,” I whispered and put my lips back to his.
“Landon…” My mother’s voice became shaky because of the tears that were starting to spill down her cheeks.
I pulled away from Sky and turned to my mother. “Mom, I’m not straight and I amor Skylar. If you can’t accept that, then I’m sorry. God made me the way he wanted me. I’m living the life he wants me to live.”
“You are going to burn in Hell, Landon!” my father yelled.
I shrugged. “To each is own.” I took Christian’s hand and walked to the back of the church. Bane and Christian followed behind us. We walked out and I held my head a little higher. I’m here and I’m queer.
Once we made it outside Christian turned to Bane. “I’m going to call Genis Book of World Records.”
“Why?” Bane asked raising an eyebrow.
His partner grinned. “Because I think we just broke the world record for dealing with homophobic pastors.”
Bane chuckled. “At least this one wasn’t because we were fucking.”
Christian shrugged. “Close enough, it was them fucking.”
My face went red. “We didn’t have sex.”
Bane looked over at me with wide eyes. “Then what have I been hearing?”
It was Skylar’s turn to blush. “You can hear us?”
“We can hear something,” Bane replied.
I reddened and looked at Skylar. “No mais pinning me down.”
“No mais moaning and groaning,” he replied, just as sheepish.
“You know,” Christian began, “if we can hear them, they can hear us.”
Bane’s eyes widened. “Shit… We are going away on our honeymoon night,” he said decidedly.
I looked back and forth between them. “Wait, so you two are getting married?”
Christian smiled triumphantly and kissed a sulking Bane. “He finally agreed after saying no for years on end.”
Bane crossed his arms over his chest. “I guess the princess got what she wanted.”
Christian stuck his tongue out at his soon to be husband.
Bane glared at him, then bit his partner’s tongue.
I turned around, seeing as they were about to have a moment. “So,” I started awkwardly with Skylar.
My best friend turned to me with an eyebrow raised. He kept his eyes locked on me.
“What?”
He grinned. “I’m seeing if I can seduce you.”
I chuckled and grabbed his crotch. “How about I seduce you?” I kissed him and savored the taste of his lips.
He pulled back and looked up at me.
“What is it this time?”
Skylar shrugged. “Wondering if I will ever be like my dads.”
I smiled. “If I have anything to say about it we will be celebrating out ceremony on the ashes of this church.”
Skylar grinned. “How romantic.”
“Speaking of romance.” Bane slapped my hand away from his son’s crotch.
“Let’s go for ice cream!” Christian laughed.
Everyone agreed and we got into our vehicles. I smiled as I drove down the road with Skylar in the passenger seat. God would be proud of me. I lived how I wanted. I lived the way I wanted to and that was with the people I love. And the one person I would do anything for.
~Ten years later~
“How does it feel to be addressed as Mr. Blaire-Shortts?” Bane teased as I put another tee camisa into my suitcase.
“How does it feel to be addressed as Mr. Blaire-Dimmit?” I replied mockingly.
Bane sighed. “It’s bullshit.”
“What?” I asked.
“That both of those assholes got to use their name first,” he responded.
I nodded in agreement. “But Shortts-Blaire did sound ridiculous.”
Bane chuckled. “True.”
“Are you packed yet?” Skylar whined from the doorway, his father in toe.
“No, I will never be finished.”
Skylar ran past Bane and jumped on me. He tackled me and I stumbled onto the bed. He leapt up and started tickling me.
I laughed. “Get the fuck off!” I shouted though bouts of laughter.
“Never!” he replied.
Christian hauled Skylar off me. “Do you want to make your flight to a fucking paradise or not?”
Skylar huffed, but didn’t say anything else.
I zipped my suitcase and took it off the bed. “Now, we’ll go.”
“About time,” Skylar muttered, grabbed my suitcase and ran down the stairs.
I shook my head and listened as he tried to pull it through the door downstairs.
“Make sure you take care of him,” Bane said once he was sure Skylar had gone outside. “And call to check in at least once a day.”
Christian rolled his eyes. “Stop worrying, mother hen,” he said to Bane. He turned his brown eyes to me. “Call when you aren’t fucking so I can expect one call just before you get on the plane to come home.”
I grinned and nodded.
“Besides.” Christian turned his gaze back to Bane, then ran a finger down his chest. “We’ll be a bit busy ourselves.”
Bane looked at him with a hard glare, but it didn’t last long. They kissed passionately and I looked away awkwardly.
“We’re ready!” Skylar chirped. His fathers broke away from each other.
“Have a good trip,” said Bane.
“We amor you guys,” Christian muttered, then turned back to his husband.
I ran over to Skylar. “Let’s get out of here, they’re about to start fuck-fest.”
Sky laughed and pulled me down the steps. We got to the front porch and stopped. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me tenderly.
“What was that for?” I asked.
He grinned. “Because I can, and other than ice cream it’s fat free.”
The sky was growing dark when it all happened. I was strolling through the park, the same as any day. I was alone, all alone. i looked up to find not one nuvem in the sky.
'Night already?' I thought. I looked at my watch. 3:00 pm it read. "That's odd," I said. I decided to go início then.
As I made my way home, things got weirder. There were no cars on the rua and no lights on in any of the apartment buildings.
I turned down an allyway, my usual way home, when I felt an unatural tugging sensation in my gut. I didn't know why, but i was suddenly walking in the complete opposite direction of my house.
It felt like my body was under someone else's control. I started jogging, then running.
"Stop it!" I yelled. I tried to force my legs to stop moving, but as soon as I tried, I felt a searing pain go from my forehead to the base of my spine. I screamed and everything went black.
'Night already?' I thought. I looked at my watch. 3:00 pm it read. "That's odd," I said. I decided to go início then.
As I made my way home, things got weirder. There were no cars on the rua and no lights on in any of the apartment buildings.
I turned down an allyway, my usual way home, when I felt an unatural tugging sensation in my gut. I didn't know why, but i was suddenly walking in the complete opposite direction of my house.
It felt like my body was under someone else's control. I started jogging, then running.
"Stop it!" I yelled. I tried to force my legs to stop moving, but as soon as I tried, I felt a searing pain go from my forehead to the base of my spine. I screamed and everything went black.
blood fills the faces of my fantasies
no mercy,you're trying to put me down
i can see clearly as you're taking a balanço at me
come and i'll push you to the ground
what are you doing? what do you think this is doing to me?
you're taking all my faith
what are you leaving me now?!
i will make you suffer just like you made me suffer
i will watch you screaming and begging for forgiveness
all my hate can not be bound
i will not be bound por your darkest demons
so try to take my life and put me to the ground
i will follow you and torture you and i'll watch you screaming
look at the bloody faces smiling at you,taking you down and making you drown
i wanna kill you the same way you killed me
leaving me thoughtless
you can try to tell me that i'm worthless
but you can not break me down
gonna take you down because nothing in this world is going to save me
no mercy,you're trying to put me down
i can see clearly as you're taking a balanço at me
come and i'll push you to the ground
what are you doing? what do you think this is doing to me?
you're taking all my faith
what are you leaving me now?!
i will make you suffer just like you made me suffer
i will watch you screaming and begging for forgiveness
all my hate can not be bound
i will not be bound por your darkest demons
so try to take my life and put me to the ground
i will follow you and torture you and i'll watch you screaming
look at the bloody faces smiling at you,taking you down and making you drown
i wanna kill you the same way you killed me
leaving me thoughtless
you can try to tell me that i'm worthless
but you can not break me down
gonna take you down because nothing in this world is going to save me
The dia of love,
Is here again,
This is tough,
From end to end,
A joyus occasion,
Is our salvation,
Without you,
I would be empty,
No one por my side,
No one to embrace me when I'm tired,
Stuck within a baracading window,
Wishing oh so much,
That you would show,
Just another day,
Where I would have to sit here and say,
Alone again,
Always alone,
Behind these eyes are tears of love,
You are my one true,
Thank you honey,
For being with me,
I amor you so,
Please,
Never ever leave me
por ScottishChic, dedicated to all whom I amor x
Is here again,
This is tough,
From end to end,
A joyus occasion,
Is our salvation,
Without you,
I would be empty,
No one por my side,
No one to embrace me when I'm tired,
Stuck within a baracading window,
Wishing oh so much,
That you would show,
Just another day,
Where I would have to sit here and say,
Alone again,
Always alone,
Behind these eyes are tears of love,
You are my one true,
Thank you honey,
For being with me,
I amor you so,
Please,
Never ever leave me
por ScottishChic, dedicated to all whom I amor x
Hello my name is Cristina Xtri ,i am 15 years old and i amor every singer's songs because SONG IS MY LIFE and also if singers wasn't even here exist then there would be no songs and i wouldn't even listen to song but now singers are here my life in on a ROCK AND ROLL!!!! WELL want to say something i amor every singer's songs well they are GREAT for me it is my LIFE!!
SINGERS THAT I KNOW :Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj,Justin Bieber, Rihanna, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez,Jennifer Lopez, well i just amor every singers !!
Well i wish all the singer a big GOOD LUCK!!!! and also i amor every songs well they are great!! oi all the singers make mais song for me please want to see mais !!! well just amor every singer!!, well my favorito song is WORK por rihanna and what is yours?
SINGERS THAT I KNOW :Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj,Justin Bieber, Rihanna, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez,Jennifer Lopez, well i just amor every singers !!
Well i wish all the singer a big GOOD LUCK!!!! and also i amor every songs well they are great!! oi all the singers make mais song for me please want to see mais !!! well just amor every singer!!, well my favorito song is WORK por rihanna and what is yours?