I slammed the car door shut, and faced the school.
"Have a good dia sweetie," Mom said, somewhat hopefully from the drivers seat. Just the words made me want to ball up and cry. She drove away, leaving me in the dust. I would not survive this day.
Not that I deserve to.
I clutched my books to my chest, and tried to keep my eyes fixed on the ground. But I still felt their eyes on me.
"Bitch," they muttered.
"She deserves to die," others said. Didn't they know I want to? Didn't they know how much strength it took to keep breathing? And when I did, it was the everlasting pain that nearly brought me to my death. But I could only hope.
But they didn't know this. They just knew it was my fault. And it was. It was all my fault for what had happened.
And I'd live with this guilt till I die.
*****************************
Please let me know if I should continue this; I don't know if I should.
"Have a good dia sweetie," Mom said, somewhat hopefully from the drivers seat. Just the words made me want to ball up and cry. She drove away, leaving me in the dust. I would not survive this day.
Not that I deserve to.
I clutched my books to my chest, and tried to keep my eyes fixed on the ground. But I still felt their eyes on me.
"Bitch," they muttered.
"She deserves to die," others said. Didn't they know I want to? Didn't they know how much strength it took to keep breathing? And when I did, it was the everlasting pain that nearly brought me to my death. But I could only hope.
But they didn't know this. They just knew it was my fault. And it was. It was all my fault for what had happened.
And I'd live with this guilt till I die.
*****************************
Please let me know if I should continue this; I don't know if I should.
I have a secret: I'm afraid. I'm terribly afraid that I AM GOING TO DIE. I didn't ask for leukemia. Nor did I expect it. Especially not chronic myelogenous leukemia. Especially when chronic myelogenous leukemia tends to affect the OLDER males, and I'm only what, 14?
But do you know why it has to be a secret? I have a family: my dad and Jae, my youngest sister. [Yeah, I have two more, but, they're out of my life at the moment.] They cried their hearts out once I was diagnosed. They were afraid that they'd lose another family member--after all, my mother passed away after a car accident. I promised to be strong. For Dad. For Jae. For Mom.
But if being strong means that I have to hold back all these tears, that I have to surpress all my fear in order to comfort my family, sometimes I wish I didn't make that promise.
But do you know why it has to be a secret? I have a family: my dad and Jae, my youngest sister. [Yeah, I have two more, but, they're out of my life at the moment.] They cried their hearts out once I was diagnosed. They were afraid that they'd lose another family member--after all, my mother passed away after a car accident. I promised to be strong. For Dad. For Jae. For Mom.
But if being strong means that I have to hold back all these tears, that I have to surpress all my fear in order to comfort my family, sometimes I wish I didn't make that promise.
I was in the class the other day, and Mrs.Crosswaer was handing out new assignments. And he stared at me! Oh his name is Sam, and he was staring at me dreamly!!!!!!!!!!!
It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooool!
I am SO SORRY! It had to be lonfer so yeah!
It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooool!
I am SO SORRY! It had to be lonfer so yeah!
*********************
One lonely sunday afternoon
I sit in my chamber and have nothing to do
My amor is far away
I wonder if (s)he's already forgotten me
So I sadly watch the sky
See the raindrops passing by
One looonely sunday afternooon...
One looonely sunday afternoon
One lonely sunday afternoon
I'm even as my flores still out of bloom
I find some old photos, covered with dust
I cannot forget you although I know that I must
So I sadly let them fly
And this time I have to cry
One looonely sunday afternooon...
One looonely sunday afternoon
**********************
you seek for spark of hope.
Your life held by
darkness thoughts,
anchor is
some place else.
Bad luck follows you
like a hook,
won't let you go,
won't leave you alone.
You smile today,
and cry whole eternity,
like that's your fate,
disturbing thoughts
to lie inside of you,
to take away everything
that you hope for.
Devil is calling your name,
leaves you not,
you don't see the angel on
your shoulder,
trying to give you a strength.
You long for life
that you don't know of,
you seek for peace,
trying to get away
from misty forest
that stains your heart
into black.