I don’t know what it is, but I think I blame my dad for getting interested in the wild west. He would always show me all of these old western films, and tell me all about it. Though, I wasn’t interested at first. My interest in the old west started when I began listening about it in history class. The thought of an entire small desert town with no law fascinated me….. Okay, none of you believe that. I had my interest sparked after playing video games, of course, what else. And let me tell you, there are quite a lot of cowboys in video games. It may not seem like much, but trust me, there are a lot. So, today, I will be talking about the cowboys from games that interest me the most. Now, some rules, as usual. Only one game per franchise. ALSO, I am excluding my rule of games that I have to play, because there are some games on this list I have not played. So, with all that said, let's start the list
#10: Bianco Billy from Viewtiful Joe
Yes, I understand that this is just an enemy type and not one specific cowboy, but just look at him. He’s got a big cowboy hat, leather boots, and two gun holsters with revolvers in them. Bianco Billy was based off of the the movie cowboy stereotype, as most enemies in this game are based off of certain movie genres. Bianco Billy is always twirling his armas around before firing at you, which you can slow down time and knock right back at him. Also, for a robotic cowboy, he’s pretty agile, as he is able to jump around and even to a damn front flip. Oh, and of course, he is also able to do a freaking flying kick to Joe’s face. Why is there a game where robot cowboys jump kick you? Why is there a game where you play as a small red superhero with some of the dumbest catchphrases ever? That’s the real question.
#9: Seymour Redding from Dead Rising 2
Ever met that one police officer who treats people lesser than him badly because he has power. Though I respect most police officers, police like that can go to hell. Seymour is like that, only if they went insane. Seymour believes in the whole old west kind of justice, basically hanging a man just for stealing about $5 in canned food. And I am not kidding, he actually hangs about four people. One of them actually dies right in front of Chuck. It’s really messed up. And the boss fight with him is… Okay. I mean, I never died to him, but it could be worse. He basically fights you por shooting at you with his six shooter revolver, which is actually pretty powerful. And he can also balanço a lasso around and tie you up before beating you with a nightstick. Really? A lasso? The only way Seymour could get anymore western if he was voiced por Clint Eastwood
#8: Stranger from Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath
First a platformer with a comedic alien, now an action adventure with a cowboy alien. Talk about a huge shift in game genres. Anyway, the Stranger really doesn’t have a name, which fits well with the whole cowboy kinda thing. The Stranger is the only person in the Mongo Valley who wishes to catch every outlaw he can so he can earn enough moolah (The game’s currency) to buy an “Important, life saving operation”. Although most cowboys use guns, the Stranger uses a double-barreled, semi-automatic, high-tension crossbow with sniper scope…… A DOUBLE-BARRELED, SEMI-AUTOMATIC, HIGH TENSION CROSSBOW WITH SNIPER SCOPE! That is the greatest thing I have ever heard. Oh, and he also uses bullets that are actually alive, like something out of Roger Rabbit or something. Though he doesn’t talk much, he is still a rather helpful person, doing what he can to help others who need it, as he does try to earn the money he can, making him one of the best cowboys in the galaxy (Since he is an alien)
#7: Jude the Dude from Madworld
If you thought this game was crazy before Jude came along….. you’re right, but Jude is still crazy. Jude rides around on rails, using the spurs on his boots like roller skates, while shooting at Jack with his revolvers. He will then jump down and kick Jack with lightning fast kicks, and the only way to hit him is to try and hit him when he is reloading. And when you actually get the chance to finish him, you shoot him dozens of times until his entire body is nothing mais than bones. That would be all, except we didn’t talk about the removed finisher, where you…. shove the armas up his rectum and fogo him into the sky……. Yeah. Also, it is believed that Jude is a homosexual, as the announcers do say he is a homosexual, and the excluded finisher did raise a few eyebrows for players. Also, it is possible that Jude is the mini-boss later in the game, Death Blade, as they do have similar ways of moving, por roller skates… It’s possible.
#6: raio, ray and Thomas McCall from Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood (SPOILERS)
Remember when Call of Juarez was good (Thanks for nothing, Call of Juarez: The Cartel). Anyway, Bound in Blood takes place during the midst of the American Civil War, with three brothers. Ray, a strong and dangerous gunslinger turn priest, Thomas, a master of stealth and silent kills, and William, a preacher who was against killing…… So naturally, William is the one we will all ignore and we will look at raio, ray and Thomas. Though the two are brothers, they try to fight each other on a daily basis, always threatening to kill each other, and at one point, nearly doing so. Of course, that’s the least of their problems, as they are hunted down por Confederate troops after abandoning the army in the war to look for the lost Treasure of Cortez in Mexico to rebuild their family home, which is filled with soldiers, bandits, and a bunch of other stuff, which only ends in the brothers hating each other mais and mais throughout the story, making it pretty crazy. And this is why Call of Juarez: The Cartel can go die in a hole, because it can not topo, início a story like that.
#5: The Sundown Kid from Live A Live
Damn it, Japan. You just had to keep Live A Live to yourself, didn’t you. Now I have to go online and emulate the game illegally (Notice: Don’t do that, you’ll get arrested). Anyway, The Sundown Kid, as he is named, is a wandering outlaw with a skull gun (Don’t ask, I have no idea). Sundown arrives in a town known as Success Town (Just…. just such creativity. I can barely handle it) where he meets his longtime rival, Mad Dog. Though, instead of fighting, they team up, because they must defend the town from a group of bandits, lead por the last member of the 7th Cavalry and most dangerous criminal ever, O. Dio. The Sundown Kid is definitely not a cowboy you would think he is. Most of them just fight enemies and mover on. But The Sundown Kid is willing to team up with his worst enemy just to stop a greater threat. Even the McCall brothers had enemies, and they were related to each other. This just makes the Sundown Kid even better of a person, and that’s what I respect about him….. NOW LOCALIZE THE GAME ALREADY, SQUARE ENIX!
#4: Jake Marshall from Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney (SPOILERS)
You wouldn’t really expect a cowboy to be a part of a murder mystery… Then again, this is Phoenix Wright, and there was a goddamn papagaio as a witness in the courtroom, so I guess anything can work. Anyway, Jake is a security officer from the state of Los Angeles, who is extremely obsessed with cowboys. Hell, he even has three cacti, and even gives Gumshoe his own cactus as a pet, thinking it will listen to him. Yeah, I know plants are alive and all, but… This is just odd. Jake was involved in the Joe Darke case with his brother, Neil Marshall. However, after his brother was murdered, Joe was sentenced to death, and Jake was demoted to security guard, even though he believed there was mais to the case. And although he is good hearted, he did try to do what he could to bring back up the case of his brothers death, even breaking into the evidence room as a disguise, and lying to the court in order to continue his investigation, which only lead to him losing his security job and being replaced por Meekins… Yes, the same clumsy court bailiff who dressed up as a blue creature once. Though he doesn’t do the usual cowboy stuff, he still has the coração of one, which is good enough for me.
#3: Zan from Rising Zan: The Samurai Gunman
A cowboy who is also a samurai. That is the most awesome thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Even though I have not played the game, and even though the Wikipedia page is as big as the theatrical release of Zyzzyx Road (That’s a smart joke. Look that up if you can), I will try as hard as I can to describe the awesomeness that is Rising Zan. Zan fights with a revolver named Johnny No More, and a katana named Demon Slayer, as he fights ninja’s in an old western town. Zan is able to get ranks when fighting bosses, which range from Weak to Bitchin’. And he can also earn a rank in the level which also range from Chicken, to Hero, to Sexy Hero, to Ultra Sexy Hero, to SUPER Ultra Sexy Hero… because why not. Not to mention, there is Hustle Mode, which allows Zen to increase his armas firing speed and damage, and allows his sword to grow longer and fight enemies with mais insane combos. Sure, I have never played this game in my life, but this is a samurai cowboy. That is enough to sell the game for me
#2: Rudy Roughnight from Wild Arms
I NEED THIS RPG! A COWBOY WITH A ROBOTIC FIGHT ARMS IN THE OLD WEST! ….. So, anyway, Rudy was a boy who was orphaned after the death of his grandfather. However, after he has to save a boy from a monster, Rudy is forced to use his ARM, a large hand cannon, to kill it, but this ended up scaring everyone in town and forcing him to be exiled from Surf Village. This soon leads to become a drifter, helping everyone he could por using his ARM to fight demons all across the world. So, you may be wondering why Rudy would want to do this kind of dangerous stuff? It is because he wants to be accepted por everyone, as he is feared because of his ARM, and all he wants is to be seen por everyone as a good guy. Think of Wreck-it Ralph, only years earlier. While Rudy is one of the most feared cowboys on this list, it is not por his intentions. He is a cowboy who wishes to help others, and be seen as someone who people shouldn’t be scared of and should see as a human being, and- GOD, I JUST WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME!
#1: John Marston from Red Dead Redemption (SPOILERS)
Yeah, you all saw this coming from a mile away. You all know me. You all know who my favorito videogame character of all time is. John Marston, that’s who. John Marston is a total badass. But, enough of the fanning over awesome game characters, let’s describe what put him on the list. John Marston was once a member of the dangerous Dutch’s Gang. He committed many robberies and murders. However, after being severely injured, he was abandoned por the gang and left for dead. However, he survived and ended up marrying Abigail and had a son named Jack. Things seemed to look up… UNTIL, OF COURSE- Edgar Ross, a total piece of dirtbag, came along and took John’s family into government custody, only agreeing to let them go if John is able to hunt down every last member of Dutch’s gang. And that is what makes John such a great character for number one on this list. He is willing to do anything for his family, even freaking DIE for them just to keep the U.S. Army away from them. John is a man who takes crap from no one, and will threaten anyone who even wastes his time, as time is something that is very limited to him. He will do whatever it takes to keep his wife and son safe, and his dedication for such thing is what makes him the best cowboy on this entire list.
Well, there you have it. Did you enjoy the list? Tell me what you thought of it. With that said, I will see you all seguinte time.
#10: Bianco Billy from Viewtiful Joe
Yes, I understand that this is just an enemy type and not one specific cowboy, but just look at him. He’s got a big cowboy hat, leather boots, and two gun holsters with revolvers in them. Bianco Billy was based off of the the movie cowboy stereotype, as most enemies in this game are based off of certain movie genres. Bianco Billy is always twirling his armas around before firing at you, which you can slow down time and knock right back at him. Also, for a robotic cowboy, he’s pretty agile, as he is able to jump around and even to a damn front flip. Oh, and of course, he is also able to do a freaking flying kick to Joe’s face. Why is there a game where robot cowboys jump kick you? Why is there a game where you play as a small red superhero with some of the dumbest catchphrases ever? That’s the real question.
#9: Seymour Redding from Dead Rising 2
Ever met that one police officer who treats people lesser than him badly because he has power. Though I respect most police officers, police like that can go to hell. Seymour is like that, only if they went insane. Seymour believes in the whole old west kind of justice, basically hanging a man just for stealing about $5 in canned food. And I am not kidding, he actually hangs about four people. One of them actually dies right in front of Chuck. It’s really messed up. And the boss fight with him is… Okay. I mean, I never died to him, but it could be worse. He basically fights you por shooting at you with his six shooter revolver, which is actually pretty powerful. And he can also balanço a lasso around and tie you up before beating you with a nightstick. Really? A lasso? The only way Seymour could get anymore western if he was voiced por Clint Eastwood
#8: Stranger from Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath
First a platformer with a comedic alien, now an action adventure with a cowboy alien. Talk about a huge shift in game genres. Anyway, the Stranger really doesn’t have a name, which fits well with the whole cowboy kinda thing. The Stranger is the only person in the Mongo Valley who wishes to catch every outlaw he can so he can earn enough moolah (The game’s currency) to buy an “Important, life saving operation”. Although most cowboys use guns, the Stranger uses a double-barreled, semi-automatic, high-tension crossbow with sniper scope…… A DOUBLE-BARRELED, SEMI-AUTOMATIC, HIGH TENSION CROSSBOW WITH SNIPER SCOPE! That is the greatest thing I have ever heard. Oh, and he also uses bullets that are actually alive, like something out of Roger Rabbit or something. Though he doesn’t talk much, he is still a rather helpful person, doing what he can to help others who need it, as he does try to earn the money he can, making him one of the best cowboys in the galaxy (Since he is an alien)
#7: Jude the Dude from Madworld
If you thought this game was crazy before Jude came along….. you’re right, but Jude is still crazy. Jude rides around on rails, using the spurs on his boots like roller skates, while shooting at Jack with his revolvers. He will then jump down and kick Jack with lightning fast kicks, and the only way to hit him is to try and hit him when he is reloading. And when you actually get the chance to finish him, you shoot him dozens of times until his entire body is nothing mais than bones. That would be all, except we didn’t talk about the removed finisher, where you…. shove the armas up his rectum and fogo him into the sky……. Yeah. Also, it is believed that Jude is a homosexual, as the announcers do say he is a homosexual, and the excluded finisher did raise a few eyebrows for players. Also, it is possible that Jude is the mini-boss later in the game, Death Blade, as they do have similar ways of moving, por roller skates… It’s possible.
#6: raio, ray and Thomas McCall from Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood (SPOILERS)
Remember when Call of Juarez was good (Thanks for nothing, Call of Juarez: The Cartel). Anyway, Bound in Blood takes place during the midst of the American Civil War, with three brothers. Ray, a strong and dangerous gunslinger turn priest, Thomas, a master of stealth and silent kills, and William, a preacher who was against killing…… So naturally, William is the one we will all ignore and we will look at raio, ray and Thomas. Though the two are brothers, they try to fight each other on a daily basis, always threatening to kill each other, and at one point, nearly doing so. Of course, that’s the least of their problems, as they are hunted down por Confederate troops after abandoning the army in the war to look for the lost Treasure of Cortez in Mexico to rebuild their family home, which is filled with soldiers, bandits, and a bunch of other stuff, which only ends in the brothers hating each other mais and mais throughout the story, making it pretty crazy. And this is why Call of Juarez: The Cartel can go die in a hole, because it can not topo, início a story like that.
#5: The Sundown Kid from Live A Live
Damn it, Japan. You just had to keep Live A Live to yourself, didn’t you. Now I have to go online and emulate the game illegally (Notice: Don’t do that, you’ll get arrested). Anyway, The Sundown Kid, as he is named, is a wandering outlaw with a skull gun (Don’t ask, I have no idea). Sundown arrives in a town known as Success Town (Just…. just such creativity. I can barely handle it) where he meets his longtime rival, Mad Dog. Though, instead of fighting, they team up, because they must defend the town from a group of bandits, lead por the last member of the 7th Cavalry and most dangerous criminal ever, O. Dio. The Sundown Kid is definitely not a cowboy you would think he is. Most of them just fight enemies and mover on. But The Sundown Kid is willing to team up with his worst enemy just to stop a greater threat. Even the McCall brothers had enemies, and they were related to each other. This just makes the Sundown Kid even better of a person, and that’s what I respect about him….. NOW LOCALIZE THE GAME ALREADY, SQUARE ENIX!
#4: Jake Marshall from Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney (SPOILERS)
You wouldn’t really expect a cowboy to be a part of a murder mystery… Then again, this is Phoenix Wright, and there was a goddamn papagaio as a witness in the courtroom, so I guess anything can work. Anyway, Jake is a security officer from the state of Los Angeles, who is extremely obsessed with cowboys. Hell, he even has three cacti, and even gives Gumshoe his own cactus as a pet, thinking it will listen to him. Yeah, I know plants are alive and all, but… This is just odd. Jake was involved in the Joe Darke case with his brother, Neil Marshall. However, after his brother was murdered, Joe was sentenced to death, and Jake was demoted to security guard, even though he believed there was mais to the case. And although he is good hearted, he did try to do what he could to bring back up the case of his brothers death, even breaking into the evidence room as a disguise, and lying to the court in order to continue his investigation, which only lead to him losing his security job and being replaced por Meekins… Yes, the same clumsy court bailiff who dressed up as a blue creature once. Though he doesn’t do the usual cowboy stuff, he still has the coração of one, which is good enough for me.
#3: Zan from Rising Zan: The Samurai Gunman
A cowboy who is also a samurai. That is the most awesome thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Even though I have not played the game, and even though the Wikipedia page is as big as the theatrical release of Zyzzyx Road (That’s a smart joke. Look that up if you can), I will try as hard as I can to describe the awesomeness that is Rising Zan. Zan fights with a revolver named Johnny No More, and a katana named Demon Slayer, as he fights ninja’s in an old western town. Zan is able to get ranks when fighting bosses, which range from Weak to Bitchin’. And he can also earn a rank in the level which also range from Chicken, to Hero, to Sexy Hero, to Ultra Sexy Hero, to SUPER Ultra Sexy Hero… because why not. Not to mention, there is Hustle Mode, which allows Zen to increase his armas firing speed and damage, and allows his sword to grow longer and fight enemies with mais insane combos. Sure, I have never played this game in my life, but this is a samurai cowboy. That is enough to sell the game for me
#2: Rudy Roughnight from Wild Arms
I NEED THIS RPG! A COWBOY WITH A ROBOTIC FIGHT ARMS IN THE OLD WEST! ….. So, anyway, Rudy was a boy who was orphaned after the death of his grandfather. However, after he has to save a boy from a monster, Rudy is forced to use his ARM, a large hand cannon, to kill it, but this ended up scaring everyone in town and forcing him to be exiled from Surf Village. This soon leads to become a drifter, helping everyone he could por using his ARM to fight demons all across the world. So, you may be wondering why Rudy would want to do this kind of dangerous stuff? It is because he wants to be accepted por everyone, as he is feared because of his ARM, and all he wants is to be seen por everyone as a good guy. Think of Wreck-it Ralph, only years earlier. While Rudy is one of the most feared cowboys on this list, it is not por his intentions. He is a cowboy who wishes to help others, and be seen as someone who people shouldn’t be scared of and should see as a human being, and- GOD, I JUST WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME!
#1: John Marston from Red Dead Redemption (SPOILERS)
Yeah, you all saw this coming from a mile away. You all know me. You all know who my favorito videogame character of all time is. John Marston, that’s who. John Marston is a total badass. But, enough of the fanning over awesome game characters, let’s describe what put him on the list. John Marston was once a member of the dangerous Dutch’s Gang. He committed many robberies and murders. However, after being severely injured, he was abandoned por the gang and left for dead. However, he survived and ended up marrying Abigail and had a son named Jack. Things seemed to look up… UNTIL, OF COURSE- Edgar Ross, a total piece of dirtbag, came along and took John’s family into government custody, only agreeing to let them go if John is able to hunt down every last member of Dutch’s gang. And that is what makes John such a great character for number one on this list. He is willing to do anything for his family, even freaking DIE for them just to keep the U.S. Army away from them. John is a man who takes crap from no one, and will threaten anyone who even wastes his time, as time is something that is very limited to him. He will do whatever it takes to keep his wife and son safe, and his dedication for such thing is what makes him the best cowboy on this entire list.
Well, there you have it. Did you enjoy the list? Tell me what you thought of it. With that said, I will see you all seguinte time.
