oi guys can you help me out?

I have the first chapter of a new possible story but I want to see if anybody is going to read it...
And I was wondering can you guys read it and tell me what you think in a comment or email?
And I don't no the name yet so can you guys help out with that to? Its not very long or hard to read.Oh and I can give you a link to it.

And there's my other story mysterious amor on the spot "lilred96" articles.