is this a good TDI drawing?

Okay, this is my first fã fiction, so please leave comments! Don't hate on my story. And PLEASE, enjoy!

" Mike! Get up!" My mom tried to shake me awake. " Chester, I've got a hot bowl of Cream of Wheat waiting for you downstairs." She walked out my bedroom.
" Creamy wheat? Outta my way!" I bounded out of bed. I carefully maneuvered my feet down the stairs. Chester had the tendency to fall down them, a lot. I plopped into a chair at the cozinha table. My mom placed a bowl of frutas Loops in front of me. "Wha? You lying little.." The raspy, complaining voice of Chester spoke. I gasped. " Thanks...

I feel so bad, I keep on not proof-reading. Well, sorry I am very busy. Being back at school sucks, especially when you have to catch up on everything you've missed out on for a week and a few days :| Not one of my best chapters, but try to enjoy it anyway XD

The bus slowly arrived to a stop as it parked in the Graver's Forest car park that stood below the tall, giant forest that was standing right beside it. Everyone rushed quickly, trying to get off the bus into the cool, fresh air that awaited us outside. Getting off the bus, I felt the coldness of the chilly air brush against my face as...