My husband recently discovered a lively discussion, on another site, about the myriad inconsistencies in Data's character over the years. I thought his response might amuse you, so I reproduce it here:
While I ponder, weak and weary
The inconsistent Data theory
Trying to poop an answer I would sign.
Could an Arqueiro bust him up, er
A phaser make him late for supper
This easily damaged form of his so fine.
Would the viewers be a-crapping
Should our hero come a-tapping
Tap, tap, tapping on Seven of Nine?
Quoth the 'scientist', I resign.
Jumping in a hole, first season
Then in filmes for some reason
Exhibiting a confidence he surely shouldn't feel.
Machine armas raise and start to chatter
But his guts refuse to scatter
Saying only 'Greetings' with much zeal.
Such confusion is a-hatching
Are or aren't his ears detaching
Doth the shiny skin and eyeballs peal?
Quoth the 'scientist', This aint real.
As we race to speculate
Our appetites will never sate
For talking Trek minutiae as we do.
At the risk of sounding corny
Were the Borg a little horny
And did the Captain's Woman have the flu?
What of spores and plastic barf
As still mais trivia we scarf
Yet will the movie sequel make us blue?
Quoth the 'scientist', I've no clue.