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posted by chowjoyi
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If you have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your friends come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary friends that you ask their opinion of everything.

7. After you have your bath, embrulho, envoltório a bath towel around you and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...
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added by BartyJrLvr
posted by ginny_potter_97
1.    Sell your old stuff at a garagem sale. You'll clean out your room and make a little cash at the same time.
2.    See one of those big blockbuster summer movies. Bonus points if it's in 3-D.
3.    Make a bird feeder and wait for someone to stop por and check it out. (It'll probably be a bird.)
4.    Fill up some of your community service hours.
5.    Lay out por the public pool (with plenty of sunscreen on, of course).
6.    Set up your sprinkler in the backyard (or the front...
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50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time you turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him or her that you’ve lost your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he or she has anything...
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1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the forno on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add...
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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my list of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let you know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything or eating anything you might spit it or something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the vassoura late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baía they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorite...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome friends and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time you read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though you may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't amor you, my love.

I loved you with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by 27-5
Dare

1. Prank call your best friend.

2. Run around the neighborhood screaming, "I amor GAY PEOPLE!"

3. Ask your parents when they first had sex.

3. Pour mayo, ketchup, vinegar, and sugar and into a cup and drink the contents.

4. Sing the first song that comes to your head in your loudest voice.

5. Scream and say, "My water bottle broke!" (I did this and many people heard it as "my water broke lol)

6. Ask your crush out then dump him/her 5 mins later.

7. Whenever someone tries to explain something to you say, "Why don't you speak mais clearly?"

8. Run around the house in your underwear. (Recommended...
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posted by Mallory101
1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.
2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.
3. Twitch a lot.
4. Talk while pretending to be asleep.
5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with cerveja and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.
6. Become a subgenius.
7. Inject his/her Twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.
8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
9. Speak in tongues.
10. mover your roommate's personal effects around. Start subtly. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually...
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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask you say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing camisa sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
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posted by sakurahanazono
Alpha kenny body

1.)Write down on a piece of paper "Alpha kenny body" and get someone to read it. (it sounds like they're saying I'll fuck anybody xD)

I won a math debate

2.)Write down "I won a math debate" and once again get someone to read it. (It should sound like they're saying I want to masterbate xD)

Eye map ness

3.) Say: Eye
Spell: Map
Say: ness

Write this down on paper and you have to do as instructed on the left. (It sounds like they're saying I'm a penis xD)


Eye Emma rate hard

4.) write down "Eye emma rate hard" down on a piece of paper (it sounds like they're saying I'm a retard)

Eye M egg ay

5.) Say: Eye
Say: M
Say: egg
Say: ay

(It should sound like they're saying I am a gay xD)
posted by greenday82
This is TOTALLY random...but here's the list from the "Funny Words" group on Facebook. Feel free to add your own


Hullabaloo
Sponge
Idiopathic
Bobbin
Bamboo
Poppycock
Persnickety
Irked
Queer
Flabbergasted
Frippery
Befuddlement
Haberdashery
Diphthong
Britches
Scrumptious
Sassafras
Gadabouts
Bazooka
Cockamamie
Egad
Frumpy
Claptrap
Pooch
Sack
Sag
Baffled
Bubbles
Noodles
Flagellum
Blimp
Napkin
Jiggle
Discombobulate
Fallopian
Pants
Follicle
Box
Bladder
Spoon
Centipede
Indubitably
Banana
Igloo
Waddle
Wobble
Sludge
Briefs
Trump
Gristle
Sprout
Turnip
Gash
Sandals
Crunch
Turd
Gauze
Goon
Manhole
Cockamamie
Noddle
Pudding
Strudel
Rubbish
Duty
Guava
Smashing
Hunky
Inevitable...
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1. Guys may be flirting around all dia but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

2. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

5. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.

6. Guys amor their moms or grandmas.

7. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

8. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

9. Beware. Guys can make gossips...
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added by 27-5
added by SummerThunder
added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: google
posted by invadercalliope
I am your forgotten dream,
Broken and unseen.

I hurt myself,
So I can feel alive.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love,
Love someone else in return.

Don’t say you amor me unless you really mean it,
Cause I might do something crazy like believe it.

Feels like you could kiss my imperfections away,
And I would stand por your side until the sun turns the sky.

I swear to you on everything I am,
And I dedicate to you all that I have,
And I promise you that I will stand right por your side,
Forever and always, until the dia I die.

I’m not crying over what you said;
It’s what you didn’t say that...
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