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 If Mr. feijão had a Baby...
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Source: 2sleep.com
A series of 'If Mr. Bean...' pics
fotografia
aleatório
picture
funny
mr. feijão
photoshopped
hilarious
fotografias
posted by IloveMyLord
Grammar, perfectly understood, enables us not only to express our meaning fully and clearly, but so to express it as to enable us to defy the ingenuity of man to give to our words any other meaning than that which we ourselves intend them to express.
William Cobbett
Grammar and logic free language from being at the mercy of the tone of voice. Grammar protects us against misunderstanding the sound of an uttered name; logic protects us against what we say have double meaning.
Rosenstock Huessy
The writer who neglects punctuation, or mispunctuates, is liable to be misunderstood for the want of merely...
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posted by IloveMyLord
Remember, you don't forgive someone for his or her sake - you forgive them for your sake. (On a side note, I just read that as "sake", the drink. I think that means it's time for me to get some sushi.)

Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, nor does it mean that you've given the message that what someone did was okay. It just means that you've let go of the anger or guilt towards someone, or towards yourself. But that can be easier said than done. If forgiveness was easy, everyone would be doing it.



"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition por an emotional...
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posted by MsMindlessAztec
1. We dont ALWAYS want sex...only sometimes
2. we dont like it when you tell us wat to do
3. never, ever look at other girls with us...otherwise your kicked out
4. eliminar any pictures of ANY other girls on your phones/computers
5. you need to listen to us
6. if you going to ignore us at least do a good job at it.
7. dont always say "i amor you" like 5 times a day, then we think somethings up
8. bringging us to a club and getting us drunk for sex is a bad idea
9. if you get in a fight, admit that your wrong...we like that
10. never say that your the "king of MY casle"
11. always tell us if your borrowing...
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 Rose Island before its destruction
Rose Island before its destruction
-The Republic of Rose Island (Respubliko de la Insulo de la Rozol in Esperanto, the official language of the once-micronation)
-Area: .04 km (4305 sq. ft.)
-Date of foundation: June 24, 1968
-Leader: President Giorgio Rosa
-Language: Esperanto
-Currency: Mill
-Location: Adriatic Sea, between Cesnatico and Rimini, Italy

The Republic of Rose Island (Esperanto: Respubliko de la Insulo de la Rozoj) was a short-lived micronation on a man-made platform in the Adriatic Sea, 11 km (7 mi) off the coast of the province of Forlì, Italy.

In 1967, Italian engineer Giorgio Rosa funded the construction of a 400...
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posted by ultimatefredde
1. Guys for gods sake, dont pretend being something you aren´t girls have a sixth sense we don´t have and find out sooner or later

2. Dance!

3.Flirt, they aren´t the only ones who should do this.

4.Tell her what you really enjoy in life

5.Help them out when needed.

6.Avoid playing those "Gay games" with your pals, it´s just not right

7.avoid grabbing your "parts" on public. Really.

8.Be original, with gifts, don´t just give flowers, or take her to dinner, also sometimes a card or a simple walk in the park is good to try

9.Be romantic and take shyness away

10. Express your feelings, you wont die...
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1.    When a stranger helps me pick up something I accidentally dropped
2.    When the DJ plays a song I requested
3.    Reading my old diaries/journals
4.    Hearing good results from the dentist
5.    Coming início after being away for a while
6.    The fresh feeling after I wash my face
7.    Getting in line before it gets long
8.    Being in the car while its going through an electric car wash
9.    Finding out your having...
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posted by KateKicksAss
This is a bunch of the funnies FML's I've found on FML lately.
Credit: link




"Today, I went to the filmes with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to cadastrar-se us. We've been together for two years. FML"


"Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy or a girl. FML"

"Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the...
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posted by spunkyonyx
oi guys, found some interesting and strange facts, some are just facts I have known a long time ago(school, wandering around websites), others are ones that I have found, I apply the fonte if available. Any others you may want to add up feel free to do so. Enjoy!

1) Coca-cola was once green.
It was green because it was accidentally carbonated when a clerk squirted syrup into the wrong glass.

2)Barbie doll measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. Wow... she's cut from the team.

3)Intelligent people have mais zinc and copper in their hair. *Checks... Woot!

4)You blink about 84 million times...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
found on different websites, but crazy baby names have been driving me nuts. Time to get the word out that parents need to stop and think before they let the doctor put pen to paper.

Al Bino (albino)
Amanda Lynn (a mandolin)
Anna Sassin (an assassin)
Annie Howe (any how)
Barb Dwyer (barbed wire)
Barry Cade (barricade)
Ben Dover (bend over)
Brighton Early (bright and early)
Brock Lee (broccoli)
Chris cruz (criss-cross)
Chris P. bacon, toucinho (crispy bacon)
Constance Noring (constant snoring)
Crystal Ball
Crystal Claire Waters (crystal clear waters)
Dan Druff (dandruff)
Richard Burns (dick burns)
Richard...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: www.rinkworks.com
I thought these were funny, what do you guys think?


"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

"Do not place this product...
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posted by KilledbyanAngel
Dear Twilight fans,
Edward is a FAIRY.
Sincerely, Logic
-----------------------------------------
Dear push down and twist medicine bottles,
Not every one can multitask.
Sincerely, I.need.my.meds.
-----------------------------------------
Dear teacher,
Why didn't I go to the bathroom during lunch?
BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE TO THEN!
Sincerely, Annoyed Student
-----------------------------------------
Dear iPod,
You fought bravely. But stay out of the laundry seguinte time.
Sincerely, Washing Machine
-----------------------------------------
Dear Parents,
I'm starting to realize that when you send me to my room after...
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posted by EminemAddict09
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
Drum on every available surface.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Set alarms for aleatório times.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public entirely of "Beeeep Bip...
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posted by Wanda5
1.Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle
2.For each question, press the seguinte button to get your answer

1.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
2.WHAT DO YOUR friends THINK OF YOU?
3.WHAT IF YOU GOT SO MAD, THAT EVERYONE STAYED AWAY FROM YOU AND LET YOU HAVE YOUR o espaço FOR 4 DAYS?
4.WHAT IF THERE WAS A STALKER CHASING YOU?
5. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR FRIEND BETRAYED YOU?
6.WHAT IF YOU SAW A BUNCH OF aleatório PEOPLE/THINGS?
7.WHAT IF A MALE FRIEND DID EVERY THING AN ADULT CAN DO?
8.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
9.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
10.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
11.WHAT WILL...
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Dear Noah, We could've sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving until 5. Sincerely, the Unicorns.

---

Airlines have banned passengers from taking tweezers on board... Anybody who can hijack a plane using a set of tweezers deserves the freakin plane.

---

The guy who puts down cachorros at animal shelters must not get alot of women. "And what do you do for a living?" "...I kill puppies."

---

Do you know what happens to 100% of people who eat carrots? THEY DIE.

---

The worst time to have a coração attack is during a game of charades.

---

You cannot bring sexy back without a receipt.

---

"Want to play the rape game?"...
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posted by j-bfan7
My name is Chris ,

I am three,

My eyes are swollen..

I cannot see.



I must be stupid,

I must be bad,

What else could have made,

My daddy so mad?



I wish I were better,

I wish I weren't ugly

, Then maybe my mommy,

Would still want to hug me.



I can't do a wrong,

I can't speak at all,

Or else I'm locked up,

All dia long.



When I'm awake,

I'm all alone,

The house is dark,

My folks aren't home.



When my mommy does come home,

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll just get,

One whipping tonight.



I just heard a car,

My daddy is back,

From Charlie's bar



I hear him curse,

My name is called ,

I press myself,

Against the wall.



I try...
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posted by shadow_luver
i made this all up

1. dress up as jason then get a chainsaw and make it look like you killing there son/daughter while all your doing is squerting ketchup on him/her


2. go to their house and tell the husband I amor YOU TO __________say his/HER NAME

3.go to their house and tell them WHO ATE ALL MY PICKLES


4.go to their house act like you dont know them and then yell outt OMFG IM NEIGHBORS WITH GOERGE LOPEZ


5.go to their house say you got a job on the news then tell them that they should be wearing something warm but acually its gonna be swimming weather


6.go to their house say that theres no more...
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1. Afrikaan -- Ek is lief vir jou!

2. Albanian -- Te dua!

3 .Amharic -- Afekrishalehou!

4. Arabic -- Ohiboke( male to female )

Nohiboka ( female to male )

5. Armenian -- Yes kez si'rumem!

6. Basque -- Maite zaitut!

7. Bengali -- Ami tomake bahlobashi!

8. Bosnian -- Volim te!

9. Bulgarian -- Obicham te!

10. Catalan -- T'estimo!

11. Creole -- Mi aime jou!

12. Croatian -- Volim te!

13. Czech -- Miluji tev!

14. Danish --Jeg elsker dig!

15. Dutch -- Ik hou furgão, van je!

16. English -- I amor you!

17. Esperanto -- Mi amas vin!

18. Estonian -- Mina armastan sind!

19. Farsi -- Tora dost daram!

20. Filipino -- Iniibig kita!...
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posted by Jeffersonian
These are purported to be actual test respostas from various schools in the Huntsville, Alabama metropolitan area.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes por which water can be made seguro to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water seguro to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded por sky.

SOCIOLOGY
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house,...
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posted by boomerlover
Yo Mama So Stupid I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder...

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her butt weighs 50 pounds.

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went início and got 16 friends.

Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to cama to see how long she slept.

Yo mama so stupid she roubou free bread.

Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio.

Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and...
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1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up por cantar de praia, praia Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10....
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