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posted by Annacrombie
This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find mais crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? You are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor, this could be fun
"Your drunk" I said
"Your Sexy" He replied
"Okay who let you watch family guy again...oh wait me"
"IM THE BLOODY KING OF ENGLAND AND I CANT DO AS I DAMN WELL PLEASE YOU GIT!"
"Stop pissing me off im hungry"
"NEVEH!" Luca shouted before runnig downstairs and garding the fridge, i followed
"Let me get some pizza" I comanded
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
"SINCE WHEN ATE YOU A DOG!"
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
I sighed and did the only thing i could think of, i tied some rope around his neck and tied him to the bin, he bit through
"IMMA LAMA NOW!"
"Aw fu-"
"HAVE YOU SEEN THE queque, muffin MAN THE queque, muffin MAN THE queque, muffin MAN"
I went to my last resort i had left, i ran upstair and threw on my police fancy dress, which happened to have a short skirt, my bro would be turned on which was not my plan, i also grabbed a water pistol
"FREEZE!" I shouted, jumping into the kitchen
Luca freezed who was now in his underwear whith two grapes up his nose
"BAM! YOU BAD LITLE SOD!" Luca shouted attacking the toaster, he ignored me
I pointed the gun at him "COME WITH ME OR I'LL SHOOT"
I (eventuly) handcuffed him and led him to the his room
"I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!" Luca shouted repeatedly,
Now 17 mins past midnight I had Luca chained woth fake handcuff's to my bed, he was asleep
Adn that my friends is the reason why we shall not give alcahol (or sugar in my case) to British people
Now if you will excuse me Luca is bititng my toe and i wanna sleep
-A.C.
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