Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if there is a 'wet paint' sign somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
2. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
3. On some Swanson Frozen - Uma Aventura Congelante dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
4. On Tesco's tiramisu sobremesa (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
5. On Marks & Spencer pão pudim -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)
6. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me mais time)?
7. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
8. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)
9. On most brands of natal lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
10. On a Japanese comida processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
11. On Sainsbury's Minduim -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
12. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
13. On a child's super-homem costume -- "Wearing of this vestuário does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
14. On a Korean cozinha knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)
15. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
2. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
3. On some Swanson Frozen - Uma Aventura Congelante dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
4. On Tesco's tiramisu sobremesa (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
5. On Marks & Spencer pão pudim -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)
6. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me mais time)?
7. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
8. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)
9. On most brands of natal lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
10. On a Japanese comida processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
11. On Sainsbury's Minduim -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
12. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
13. On a child's super-homem costume -- "Wearing of this vestuário does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
14. On a Korean cozinha knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)
15. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)