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posted by jujuh98
Well my brother was asking me who are the 4 presidents on Mt. Rushmore and I named them all. Then he started saying that Thomas Jefferson invented the toilet and I told him someone else did and then he told me to look it up so I did and it said that Thomas Crapper invented the toilet. Isn't there similarities going on.
Thomas [Crapper] and [Toilet]. His last name is what alot of people do in a toilet. I also found out thats why some people call the toilet, "The Crapper". Yeah I laughed really hard when I found that out so if you don't then you need to see a doctor!!
posted by tamar20
Enemies and haters can be annoying and their comments and insults can upset you. Learn how to deal with it...

1)If you don’t know why they hate you, ask them calmly and nicely. If they are nasty to you or start swearing or being violent, walk away and don’t bother trying to talk to them again until they have calmed down or until they talk to you nicely. Some people can be given segundo chances to realize that you aren’t really a bad person and they have nothing to hate you for. But some people just won’t like you in life, so don’t waste your time fretting about why they don’t like...
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Some people may ask, "Why Invader Zim first?" I say SCREW IT, ILL DO WHAT I WANT! In any case, the show is one of my favorites. It represents a better time for Nick. Better shows, better actors, better Nick. Altough this is a time since past, Nicktoons has made the GENIUS(sp?) decision to bring it back.
If you look at the definition of Invader Zim on Wikipedia(again, sp?), it says that IZ employs a comedy style called "black comedy". Basically, this means that IZ uses dark methods of humor, such as the gluttonus "Bloaty the pizza Hog", or perhaps just the dark scenery in IZ (it gives a very...
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if someone is annoying you, just say "they're not even worth my time."


if someone is making you upset, just say "look how carless and mean he/she/they are/is."


if someone doesn't believe you, just say "i can't do anything to change your mind."


if someone doesn't like the way you are, or they want to change something about you, say "i didn't make myself like this. this is how i was born. take me as i am, or don't accept me at all."


if someone is bullying you for "no reason", it's because they like you, or is jealous of you, or it's the spirits clashing.
posted by Icepaw_Kenobi
Found this online...
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your dia been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream,...
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31 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

Written por a guy. After years of experience.

1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.

3. Beware of every single male relatives and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your butt at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to kiss in...
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posted by invadercalliope
I hope you enjoy!
:D
20 Funny Quotes
1:You tries your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'
2:I didn't lose my mind, I just sold it on eBay
3:A good friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will be sitting seguinte to you saying "Dude that was freakin awesome!"
4:Accept that some days you're the pigeon. and some days you're the statue
5:There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the costa like an idiot.
6:Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted
7:Never give up things that once made you smile
8:Clear as a sino my nody said "Listen fatty...do it and die
9:Caution water on...
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posted by karpach_14
Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't...
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FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN DUDE! RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents por Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, por Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting seguinte to you sayin "THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS:...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Pisces.
Your element: Water
Your ruling planets: Neptune
Symbol: The Fish
Your stone: Bloodstone
Life Pursuit: To avoid feeling alone and instead feel connected to others and the world at large
Vibration: Erratic Energy levels
Pisces Secret Desire: To live their dreams and turn fantasies into realities

Description:
Mysterious and alluring individuals, most Pisces are extremely talented, but even though they are gifted in many ways, they still manage to spend most of their lives battling "confusing" conditions. Pisces is the sign symbolised por the image of two fish. Their symbol depicts one peixe heading...
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1-play baseball with one cucumber

2-use a cucumber to sing along with your friends

3-put eyes and a nose to it and pretend it is your best friend

4-open a cumcumber store in front of your house and tell them you are raising money to buy comida for homeless dogs

5-go to a spa and take your own cucumber and complain that you want them to use that cucumber cause it means alot for you

6-in valentines dia gift your friends a cucumber and tell them you grew them with love

7-go to a grocery store and grab a cucumber then put it seguinte to your ear and say that he talks to you and says he need a new início and thats why you buy it

8-use the mr.potato pieces to create your own mr.cucumber
ill give u some tips.......:
1- if u r bored in fanpop,and there is no frnd online: go to anyclub u like or amor and start adding some Qs and picks,and then comeback and see ppl that answerd it....it is really fun.
2- if u want to earn mais fans......add aleatório ppl.to ur fanlist then they will add u back the u will earn mais fans.in no time.
3- if u wanna earn medals ...u have to add mais pixxx in ur fav clubs....u can add articals too,and pix ppl will rate then u have mais medals .
4- another way to earn fans....go to the chat room and then meet new ppl know them u will get mais fans.....and frnds too.

when i have mais ideas ill give it......now i dont i hope this artigo will be useful have a gr8 dia everybody and type ur comment plz....thanks alot for listening...^_^ have a gr8 day.
1.imitate sirius black,order a pizza and say: i spent 12 years in azkaban then died 2 years later so this better be the best pizza ever.
2.when angered pick up a pencil and yell "stupefy!" when doesnt work demand to know where your wand is.
3.walk into your classroom, look around say "this isnt hogwarts." yell "so long muggles!" march out and see who follows.
4.at aleatório times yell "i killed sirius black!" reapeatidly.
5. at a bathroom hiss at the sink and say that you are trying to get into the chamber of secrets.
6.name anyone at all after harry potter poeple.
7.post this list ev.er.y. where. [but give me credit]
8. replace the lyrics of all the songs you know with harry potter lyrics.
9.do not give up the thought that you are a muggle born even if you did not get a letter.
10. make everthing harry potter themed

thats it! i hope you liked it!
posted by Cantwait4book5
I am not obsessed with Justin Bieber nor do I hate him. In just neutral about him. But I am soooooooo fed up with all these people bagging him out!

I just read a pergunta on this spot that asked "If you saw Justin Bieber standing on the topo, início of a building getting ready to jump, would you cry or scream JUMP FAG JUMP!". I'm sorry but if I saw someone (regardless of who they are) on topo, início of a building getting ready to jump off, I would do anything to make them stop.

Why do you people have grudges against someone who hasn't ever done something bad to anyone you know or care about. And people say that he sounds like a chick and that he is a fag but honestly, he doesnt. His voice may be higher than other guys but that doesnt make him a fag.

And anyway, whats wrong with it if he is gay? Adam Lambert is gay and he has millions of fans.

I dont like Justin Bieber but I am fed up of people posting s**t about him!!!!!

Anyone agree???
posted by juviechick1339
why boys go out with girls... so true
Created por augustemily1997

Created por augustemily1997 on Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Tagged: yay
REPOST THiS titled "wHy bOyS Go oUt wIt gIrLs...So tRuE
did you know that every night before you go to sleep there is one person of the opposite sex thinking of you. They want to kiss you, they want to be with you, they are always thinking about you, this is all true and not fake. If you repost this in 5 min the person that is longing to be with you will approach you within one mês and ask you out or grab you and kiss you. but if you break this chain no one will...
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posted by blaise_jez
Q .. Did you here about the blonde who shot an Arqueiro into the air?
A .. She missed.

Q .. What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A .. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q .. Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A .. From crawling across the rua when the sign said "don't walk".

Q .. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A .. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q .. Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A .. She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q .. How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A .. The cow fell on her.




Q .. What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A .. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
User: I didn't know you could play Twister all por yourself.


Cleverbot: I didn't know you could play the cello online either.


User: Cat got your tongue, because there's an extra one here.


Cleverbot: No the dog actually. But close.


User: I for one feel bad for the chicken.


Cleverbot: You spelled fear wrong...

User: Would a redhead wear a red blouse? That's a rhetorical question.

Cleverbot: Probably, but he or she wouldn't want to admit it.

User: I don't know, I didn't write it down.

Cleverbot: I'm going to copy and paste it so that you can see that you di.

User: Too bad it wasn't a learn how to swim patch....
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posted by ilovepenguins
Things to do in a Public Restroom

1.Comment "Pooh, who did that?"
2.Complement people on their shoes.
3.Introduce yourself to the person in the seguinte stall. Strike up a conversation.
4.Provide 'strenuous' sound-effects.
5.Ask the person in the seguinte stall if there's anything swimming in their bowl.....
6.Discuss the pros and cons of laxatives.
7.Scream " Oh my GOD! What the hell is THAT?"
8.Simulate a drug deal.
9.Pretend to fall in (with appropriate sound effects).
10.Roll Easter Eggs under the doors.
11.Start a sing-a-long.
12.Act schizophrenically.
13.Knock on the doors of occupied stalls and ask if there...
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This is por far the weirdest lists I have ever seen, but funny nonetheless...

QUESTIONS ASKED OF THE SYDNEY OLYMPIC COMMITTEE

Here are some of the classic perguntas being asked of the Sydney Olympic
Committee via their Web site, and some respostas that may be appropriate:

Q: I hear that all Australian women are beautiful. Is that true an if so,
can you send me pictures of the available ones? (Italy)
A: (Sure, there's only 8 million of them)

Q: I want to go swimming at Bondi de praia, praia on October 20th. Will I turn blue?
(Germany)
A: (More likely brown, considering the effluent...)

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos...
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posted by musicfanaticXD
I was leitura the Wal-Mart artigo and I was reminded of this eamil I got. Post your faves in the comments section!

THINGS 2 DO DURING AN EXAM XDDD

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read perguntas aloud, debate your respostas with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to...
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 Happy Hauntings X)
Happy Hauntings X)
*sings*
( Road)
The lord Millenium is in procurar of you
Looking for the coração now
Have you heard the news
maybe you roubou it from him
i'll see if it is true
( General )
The lord Millenium is in procurar of you
Looking for he coração now
Have you heard the news
I was not the one he sought
maybe it is you
( Lord Millenium )
Who is it that has my heart
i will find you soon
*hums*

link

The song is from D. Grey Man some how none of you know it as the only song i know por coração from the series i thought it'd be wonderful to post the song ( with a link to the song of course ) and bring in a little part of it >;) and the picture.....was a huge aranha i took from Waverly Hills so goodbye.......and Happy hauntings Children!!!