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1) Go to Souper Salad, Fill a cup with Ice Cream and put oreo biscoitos, cookies with chocolate Syrup in it. Mix well with a spoon and enjoy. (I did that today :p)

2) Get leite and put in a chocolate bar. Let it rest for 5 minutos and then freeze it for 1 hour. Enjoy.

3) Go to the store and buy a bucket. Fill it with ice cubes made of milk. Put in chocolate powder. Churn and enjoy.

4) Go to walmart and open up one fresh bucket of VANILLA ICE CREAM. Go to the spoon section and put in chocolate syrup into the ice cream. Mix well and enjoy.

5) Get a job at an ice cream shop. Ask if you can work the ice cream maker. If you can't, cry and beg until you can. Enjoy

6) Go to your mom's room and get her chocolate colored lip stick. Put it inside a fresh glass of water. Wait till the water gets murky. Freeze it and enjoy.

7) Get a piece of paper. Draw a chocolate ice cream. Cut it out and eat it.

8) Go to a birthday party and meet a clown. Beg him to make you a chocolate ice cream balloon. If he has "excuses", cry. Wait for him to make the ice cream balloon and bite into the balloon. Enjoy. (Warning: May hurt lips)

9) Get someone to sit in a toilet and do number two. Tell the person no to flush. When they live, put ice into the toilet and churn it all with a giant spoon. Put in leite and sugar. Enjoy.

10) (Lazy way) BUY ICE CREAM!!!
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posted by zutaradragon
    Police are investigating a fogo at a local school building, which was full of what are now dead children and teachers. Or at least, presumed dead, as no bodies have actually been found. There was only one person left: a seemingly deranged babbling female teacher speaking of a giant blob, of sorts. The police instantly dismissed her ramblings as those of a traumatized and stressed mind and went back to work. Their investigation turned up large amounts of sulfur, which was very odd and completely unexplained. Most dismissed it, saying that the science labs must have just...
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I see Shinobu in the back.=^=
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posted by iLuvLouisCarrot
“So, Louis, the rumor’s true? Are you really secretly dating someone?”
Diana asked,
I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat. It was all Harry’s fault. Everyone thought I was dating someone because he said that in the last interview we had.
For fucks sake, I didn’t know what the giddy aunt to say. I looked over at Harry, who was trying not to laugh.
“Yeah. Actually I am.”
It was a spur of the moment thing. I was just… errrggghhhhh.
The crowd gasped. Diana looked shocked. .
“Can you tell us who it is?”
She asked. She literally shoved the microphone in my face.
“I would tell you,...
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posted by ThatDarnHippo
This a little something I wrote for my English class after we read The Modest Proposal. We had to write our own modest proposals on modern dia issues, and mine is on gay rights. It's short and to the point, so I won't be wasting too much of your time.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). amor or hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.


A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years atrás were blacks given the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination...
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posted by xneville_rocksx
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down

2. Try to secretly smell your hair , but you always notice.

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence .

4. Give you the remote control during the game

5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you

6. Play with your hair .

7. His hands always find yours .

8. Be cute when he really wants something.

9. Offer you plenty of massages

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork .

11. Never run out of amor .

12. Be funny , but know how to be serious

13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious

14. Be patient when you take...
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posted by Lolly4me2
Preferably shouted.

"DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY

YOU’RE SO FUCKING SLOW

AND FAT, WHAT DO YOU WEIGH

HA-HA-HA-HA

YOU CAN’T FUCKING SING

I’LL START A FUCKING FIGHT

GET OUT MY WAY YOU HO

I’M DRIVING HERE TONIGHT

OH!

JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY

OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE

OVER BODIES EVERY dia (HEY)

JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL

cadela, puta WHAT DID I SAY

RUN THAT bunda CUZ YOU CAN’T HIDE

FROM MY MOTHERFUCKING SLEIGH."

--

Happy Holidays~