Here are my list of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let you know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything or eating anything you might spit it or something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the vassoura late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baía they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorito vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the cogumelo have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do you call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do you make an octopus giggle ten times?
You give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do you make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's favorito composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between you and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't you hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the tomate blush?
It saw the salada dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do you know if it's raining gatos and dogs?
You step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do you know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do you get pikachu on a bus?
You pokémon (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't you dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)
#27 What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton cruz the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's rosa, -de-rosa and fluffy?
rosa, -de-rosa fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rosa, -de-rosa fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when you drink 7 coca colas?
You burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the peixe say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't you trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope you liked them. Make sure you check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
(Make sure your not drinking anything or eating anything you might spit it or something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the vassoura late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baía they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorito vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the cogumelo have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do you call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do you make an octopus giggle ten times?
You give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do you make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's favorito composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between you and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't you hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the tomate blush?
It saw the salada dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do you know if it's raining gatos and dogs?
You step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do you know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do you get pikachu on a bus?
You pokémon (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't you dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)
#27 What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton cruz the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's rosa, -de-rosa and fluffy?
rosa, -de-rosa fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
rosa, -de-rosa fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when you drink 7 coca colas?
You burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the peixe say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't you trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope you liked them. Make sure you check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
DEMENTED POEMS
rosas are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit
rosas are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy
rosas are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And show me your tits
rosas make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And you amor it up the shitter
rosas are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted
rosas are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky
rosas are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry
rosas are shit
Violets are crap
Show me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap
rosas are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And andorinha it down
rosas are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
rosas are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit
rosas are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy
rosas are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And show me your tits
rosas make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And you amor it up the shitter
rosas are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted
rosas are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky
rosas are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry
rosas are shit
Violets are crap
Show me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap
rosas are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And andorinha it down
rosas are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
my friend sent me this text message a while atrás and i thought it was hilarious!!!
i need to ask you somethingand i want you to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how you feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want you to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...
Pepsi or Coke?
Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
i need to ask you somethingand i want you to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how you feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want you to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...
Pepsi or Coke?
Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.