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boomerlover said:
I have some.
1.Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 segundos AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The seguinte morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe, veste, roupão and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
2.A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the cozinha listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO hora delay, please see the cadela, puta in the kitchen."
3.Knock Knock
Who's there?
Atch!
Atch who?
I'm sorry I didn't know you had a cold!
4.Yo Mamma's so far, a friend showed her a picture of her feet.
She didn't recognize them.
5.Yo mamma's cross-eyed, she threw a rock at the ground and missed!
6.Your mamma is so fat, when God said let there be light,she had to move
7.Your Momma's so fat, when she blinks, her eyelids clap!
8.Your Mama is so stupid, she sits on the televisão and watches the sofa.
9.Yo mamma's so old, she farts dust.
10.Yo mamma's so fat, when she wears a red dress, the kids in the neighborhood yell, "Hey, Kool-Aid!"
Thats all I got. Hope you like!!
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