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Can you guys read my story and tell me if you like it, what to change and all that stuff, please?

Chapter 1

Thantos was sitting on his bed, continuously throwing and catching his blue foam ball, with his headphones in his ears and música playing too loud and combing his medium length black hair out of his bright abnormally coloured eyes.
“This is so pointless. I need something better to do,” he said, scratching his extremely pale skin.
Thantos paused his IPod to hear a scream and girls laughing.
“What the- what was that about?” He asked himself, getting up from his cama and walking to his door.
“I’ll never know if I don’t go check it out,” he smiled.
Thantos walked down his stairs and toward his door and covered his ears as the girls screamed again.
He opened his front door to see a beautiful girl in a solid black bikini and another girl in a purple and rosa, -de-rosa strapless one piece.
“What’s all the screaming about?” Thantos yelled at them, laughing.
The girls screamed, looked at Thantos, then started laughing at there foolishness.
“First tell us who you are, then we’ll tell you why we were screaming,” laughed the girl in the one-piece.
“I’ll tell you who I am after you tell me who you are,” Thantos smirked at them.
The two girls looked at each other and smiled.
Both girls held out there left arm, palms flat facing him. Out of nowhere, water came shooting at Thantos, hitting him painfully hard.
“What was that for?” Thantos yelled, clenching his fists, angrily. “And how the hell did you do that?”
“Because we could. Isn’t that a total ‘duh’ factor?” The girl in the bikini asked.
“And how we did it is none of your damn business.” The other girl scolded.
“Just tell me who you are,” Thantos said, attempting to breathe calmly and not show his anger, but failing, miserably.
“My name is of no concern right now but… I might be willing to tell you if you tell me yours. We’ll tell you why we were screaming and both of our na
 Castalinia posted over a year ago
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XxKeithHarkinxX said:
nice! now read mine!

He ran his fingers through her long golden hair while staring into her hazel eyes
“You have beautiful eyes,” he said softly, his accent still managed to slip through his softly spoken words.
“Thank you,” Taylor said with a smile of pure delight.
“But I really should get going,” She said gently pulling Keith’s hand out of her hair.
This was not because she didn’t amor Keith; in fact Taylor loved him with all her heart. It was just everything happened so suddenly. It all started last week in New York City, Keith being a musician had booked a apresentação, show, gig at Red Stallion Pub, and Taylor being a fã of his, bought a ticket for the show. Everything was going normally, Keith Played a few tunes, how it managed to last 3 hours is beyond me. After the show everyone left talking among themselves about the performance. There was only one person that didn’t leave with the crowd, besides the bartenders of course, Taylor stayed to tell Keith that he was an amazing musician and that she had never heard such beautiful noise in her life. Keith was all done packing his violão, guitarra up and about ready to leave when he noticed someone still standing there.
“ And why might you still be here?” his accent wasn’t as thick she thought it would be,
“I-I just wanted to tell you something,” Taylor said shyly.
“What might that be? Is it that you’re my biggest fã and you want me to marry you?” Keith said with a slight chuckle.
“Oh, nothing like that sir!”
“Please, call me Keith,” he said as he carefully put his violão, guitarra case down
“I’m too young to be a sir!” he said with a laugh
“So what did you want to want to tell me?”
“That you are the most amazing guitarist and singer I’ve ever heard!” She said slowly letting go of her shyness.
“Why thank you! I must say it’s a lot nicer to hear that then it is to hear all that sappy, lovie, fã stuff. You kind of get sick of it after 4 years!”

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posted over a year ago 
i like it but, what's with your obsession with Keith?
Castalinia posted over a year ago
XxKeithHarkinxX posted over a year ago
Shadowmarioking said:
Eh. I don't understand why the girls have to be in bikinis...and the story isn't one that's THAT attention grabbing.
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posted over a year ago 
it will be when there's mais up. it get's a lot mais interesting as it goes on.
Castalinia posted over a year ago
thanks for your opinion though. it is much appreaciated. i will try to improve it.
Castalinia posted over a year ago
okay. i'll try to do that.
Castalinia posted over a year ago
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