I was quite the compulsive liar for quite some time, recently too, and I seem to be good at it. And I'm not talking little white lies, I'm talking huge lies that could hurt people, and everyone believed me. Even I started to believe me.
I enjoyed it for a long time, and it was cruel of me, but I found it so hilarious that I would laugh myself to sleep at night either way. I told lie after lie dia after day, until eventually I had put so many masks over the truth that I wasn't even sure it existed anymore.
Lying like that really hurts, and it really takes a toll on the mind as well as the body. I ended up only making the problems that I tried so hard to hide worse, and I was adding mental complication up after mental complication. My laughter soon turned to tears, and the enjoyment I once got from it turned in to self hatred. I was lost and alone like you wouldn't believe.
This summer though, sometime around August, a certain turn of events that I've mentioned too many times lead me away from that. Though I was still left with the self hatred, I started lying a lot less, and I mean a lot less. I was mais honest with myself and mais honest with the people around me. I admit to lying a lot now, which is a fairly big step if you ask me.
However, sometimes I wonder just how much of what comes out of my mouth is the truth, a lie, or something in between. I try really hard to be honest, really really hard, and while I think I'm being completely honest 98% of the time, I can't be too sure. It's hard to know what's real when you've been a fake for so long.
Not often at all. I used to lie a lot a while atrás in order to get what I needed, but rarely over anything frivolous. I do sometimes lie in recent days just to get some people off my back about certain things. Just tell them what they want to hear, even though I don't exactly believe in what I'm saying.
The last time I can remember telling a bold faced lie was back on the first of October. My mom wanted to know who I was talking on the phone with and I wasn't willing to disclose the true details, so I made up a story. I don't have a good reason to lie about anything at the moment. I hope I'll need to lie again fairly soon.