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People im making a story n i need ure opinion on the part i made!!!!

So i decided 2 make my first story(wooohoo) n a funny one...il post a small part off the 1st chapter....oh and sorry if my english is bad....il fix it when i finish it...feel free to criticise

the storys about a guy nicknamed failo couse he fails a lot....his full name is michael Mc Ground,the story follows him in a pcyho n sick adventures
"AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FAIL"
It was a stormy n cold night,rain had no intentions of stoping. I was looking out the window n i saw an old man in the rain.i feelt sorry n sad for him,so i pulled up my curtains n i layed in my cama to watch the tv. I was watching the news n i saw tht an abandoned mine was still full of gold n diamonds.i decided to go in it tonight before its reopened.

So thats the part....what do ya think????
 Insane4ever posted over a year ago
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cullenROCKz said:
I am confused!! Can u pls post the entire first part of the story.. I dont see the relation between the old man and the tw and gold mines.. He feels sorry one moment and the seguinte he decides to watch tv.. Does he multiple personality disorder or something?
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posted over a year ago 
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Yep....oh n the jokes in tht he feels sad for him so he pulls up the curtains so he wouldnt c him n so wouldnt feel bad for him xD????get it now
Insane4ever posted over a year ago
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N then he sees on the tv the abandoned mine with gold so he wants to get it to get rich...i just wrotte the full 1 chapter...i just started fixing it
Insane4ever posted over a year ago
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Yes pls.. I would amor to read it... Good Luck..
cullenROCKz posted over a year ago
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