Please leave a message after the beep.

Hi! this is your phone company...and we are here to tell you that ....after this message is litend to ur phone will selfdesturct

in


10



9



8


7



6




5




4




3




2



1



KABOOOM

*says in creepy whispering killer voice*

'' The call is comming from inside the house... ''

"Umm, hi. I'm the pizza guy, I've been ringing your doorbell for the past half hour. But I needed to get that pizza to you, so I broke your window. I took your TV and laptop because you made me wait, but the pizza was free since it took over half an hour! Have a nice day, sir."

SEVEN DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pardo, dun pardo, dun dun!

Hello? *insert your name here* are you home? come on, pick up the phone! *pauses* oh, alright fine. I'm sorry for last night! I didn't mean it really! Please pick up and we can talk. *pauses* I guess you really must hate me. I don't blame you, I don't like myself much either. Please, please consider forgving me. Please. I can't live without you! I amor YOU! please... just call me at least to yell at me. I want to hear your voice...

hi nya. we are selling nekos to use for whatever you want to use it for weather it be a slave girl/boyfriend or just to kill for your own greedy selfish reasons nya. a neko is half human and half cat nya. i will warn you that nekos will constantly end their sentences with nya, if you don't want this than you can special order your neko nya. call now to get the hottest neko at 1-80-666-slave nya.

Y O U A R E S T U P I D

T H E E V I l I R K E N S H A V E E A T E N Y O U

"DUDE, you owe me 5 bucks."
8 days later..
"dude I need 5 bucks.'
9 days after that...
"I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU DONT GIVE ME 5 BUCKS."
78 days after that..
"Could you atleast puke back up teh girlscout biscoitos, cookies that where 5 bucks.. Have a SCOUTTASTIC day."

hi its logan lerman and im the hottest person alive =). i wish i got that message!

*creepy heavy breathing* You better lock the doors.

hi. i was just calling about this order of pizza you called in. yeah, we don't make our pizza out of dog crap. and we don't deliver to the bottom of the ocean, either.

fish, elf, dog, snow, goldfish, monkey, ninja, pickle, lama *says mais and mais aleatório words*

Hey! I didn´t hear the beep...When can I leave my message?

Hi Bye

Jacob: Let me call Bella.*dials Bella's number*
Operator: I am sorry. This person is talking to (Bella's voice)Edward Cullen. Please leave a message after the tone.
*tone never comes up*
Jacob: OH C'MON!

Another one:

Jacob: I want Bella NAO!*calls Bella*
(Answering machine): The Swans are out right now, please leave a message after the beep.
[beep never stops]
Jacob: OH C'MON!

Another:

Bella: *makes a new answering machine*
Jacob: *calls*
[Machine]: Hi, its Bella. If its Jacob, stop leaving messages saying "OH C'MON!" and if your not a Cullen or my dad, don't call me. At ALL!
*beep*
Jacob: NOOOOOO!
*beep*
Jacob: ?
*beep beep beep beep*
{This phone will self destruct in 3, 2, 1}
Jacob: OH C'MON!

"Okay. Hello? Oh hi! I'm just calling to tell you an amazing product that just came out, and is loved from all around the world! Your own personal boyfriend/girlfriend, they do whatever you want! They have be trained to do anything you ask, and here's the great part: ITS ONLY A SMALL PRICE OF, 170.47$! Go on and pick up the phone now...! Theproductsmayexplodeundertoomichpressure.productswilnotsnugglewithyouorshowanyotheraffection.theproductprobablyhatesyourguts.ohyeahtheymaykillyouifyoumakethemrubyourfeet! ENJOY!:)

you order chinese comida you no pick up
you, you order lo mein, yes, and, and don't forget your fortune cookie, uh,uh, please pick up your fortune cookie and lo mein, uh bye.

[this is something one of my friends sent me last week]

Her: oi Ashley
A Guy: feno Ashley!
Her: I sent you something on skype saying, "ANSWER YOUR PHONE." oh yeah, I typed it with one hand!
G: So, do you do this often?
H: What, leave 10 minutos messages?
G: Yeah.
H: Oh yeah, Ashley's voicemail box is full of them just from me and aleatório guys from chatango.
G: I'm not just a aleatório guy from chatango, I'm your husband!
H: aleatório guy. End of story.
G: No!
H: OH SHE REPLIED! She said, "okay. call me again."
G: but I'm your husband...
H: BYE ASHLEY! -ends-

have you check the children?

WHAT?! DON'T YOU DARE SWEAR AT ME!

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
Bye!

*breathes in deeply and out again* "Turn. Around."