I am sitting on a beanch while Maria and Elaf are talking some meters away from me. I recognise this place. It's where the three of us talked about Teddy. Yes, that's right. It was also the same dia when Teddy disappeared again and I later on found her crying behind a tree. She told me that she wasn't herself. And I didn't feel I was myself there either. I was slowly rotning due to thirst.
"I remember..." I say, whispiring to myself.
But what exactly is happening? How come what happened happen and suddenly stop, then I wake up somewhere else and a moment after I'm back to where it stopped?
This makes absolutely no sense, I think and throw a glance up to see what Maria and Elaf are up to now, but I only see Elaf walking towards me while Maria probably left because she's not with Elaf now. Is this supposed to be the continue to what stopped? What would make mais sense is if it actually never stopped. Perhaps I only slept somehow and had a strange dream, it's at least possible. mais possible than what happened before, and before that again it was something else. Before and before... I feel confused!
"Shun," says Elaf with a voice that proves she's very sad, but why?
I don't say anything, only keep looking at her movements. She sits on her haunches in front of me and starts to talk about something I don't understand. What in the world is she saying?
"Why would you do that?" I ask, with no comprehention.
"Because that's the only way to save you."
"You don't have to waste your powers on something none of us need, Elaf. I feel fine, trust me!"
"No. You said you feel all right before too, but I could easily see that you were struggling to keep yourself up. It was obvious."
It was obvious. Was. What about now? Does this mean that after that dream I had and I woke up here, something made me feel better? Because it's true, I do feel fine, no problem at all. Only confusion, but that's not big of a deal.
"Well, and now then?" I ask. "What about now? Don't you think I do feel fine now?"
She pauses at first, but then says: "I don't."
I don't understand.
"Why not?" I ask her and what she says makes me keep quite: "Because you're just pretending, so that I won't give you anything of my power, aren't you?"
I don't say a word, only keep thinking about what she just said, which makes her say this: "See, you're hesitating. I know you need some mais energy, Shun."
When things in my head finally come to sense I ask: "Have you thought about what happens after you've done it?"
"That doesn't matter to me," she says and I feel so useless after that, that I get irritated with this senseless situation.
"Doesn't matter to you?! Are you serious? Could you really venture putting yourself in danger because of me?! Do you really think lending some of your power to another human being might be a good idea? You've ever tried that before, have you?!"
"But I have to do someth..."
"I don't care!" I interrubt and raise my voice which makes her stops. "I don't care what you do, okay Elaf?! I just don't want you to put yourself in dager to save me! And especially not when I feel okay!"
"But you don't feel okay, Shun!" she raises her voice as well.
"I do!" I persist and she looks at me with a very misunderstanding and sad face. "Think about it," I continue but with a normal tone. "Since you haven't tried this before, you might be able to help me, but you might as well put the both of us in danger. Not only yourself."
"But Lion-Obrah told me about it," she says. "She said that I can do it as long as I am careful and don't give you mais than you can bear. Also, I don't risk putting myself in danger because I will get my energy back the mais I rest, isn't that right, Obrah?"
"Yes," says a voice in Elaf's sweeter-pocket.
After some segundos of pause I say: "I still don't care," and Elaf looks at me with a glance I've never seen on her face. She must be very mad at me at this point, but it couldn't last forever, could it? "I'm not gonna let you give me of your..."
"Enough already!" she shouts and tears run down her cheeks. That's when I feel terrible. "I don't care whether you care or not, Shun! I'm not gonna let you die!"
The last thing she said... It enters my head mais and more, like an eco that won't stop. "I'm not gonna let you die!"
She has been trying to help me all along, and I never understood how she actually felt deep inside. I feel so awful I can do anything to... To what? It's nothing left...
"You should be mais reconsidiring!" her voice wakes me up. "Maria went to help Dan out of his situation. She's gonna lend him somme of her power as well. Now how in the universe do you expect me not to do it?! Are you crazy or soemthing!? I don't think you get this at all, do you? I'd never leave you behind, or any of the others! But as my friends know, it's different when it comes to you, Shun. It absolutely is. And if I have to say this punctually to make you understand then I will: I'd do anything I can to help you out of this! Anything!"
The tears that run down her face make me feel so sorry for her, and so bad about myself. She's been trying to offer me the help she has, and I've only been denying it. It's like telling her that I don't need her to manage, but without saying it. Only proving it reluctantly. I wonder how she feels. Maybe even mais terrible than I feel right now...
This situation has gone too long. I don't want to hear her say anything else that makes me dislike myself mais than I already do now. I don't want to see her cry. I don't want to keep being so thankless when all she cares about is to help me. She helped me several times before with a reason of feelings, but I never realised that one bit. She helped me when I was lying on the ground after what Teddy did to me behind the trees with Maria's pearl. She helped me when I was por the little, dirty puddle pondering about Teddy's behaviour. She kept it a secret and she always agreed with me when I said we had to do something to leave this place. How could I be so blind?
Because of the disappointment I feel inside of me due to my own selfish attitude, I hold out my hand in front of her which makes her look at me and stop talking.
"I'm sorry," I say and look at the ground. "Do whatever you want. I don't care whether it'd hurt me at this point."
"Shun..." she says and I can hear she's uncertain. "Don't say like that. I won't hurt you, I promise," she takes in my hand to start.
"Elaf," I say.
"Yes."
"Thank you. For always being there."
"That's what friends are for," she says and gives me a tired smile.
When she closes her eyes to begin the tranformation of her power, I get to see a little glamse of a white flor that forms on my hand. Then everything turns black again and I wake up of another world as though Elaf was never there. But why? Why did that have to stop? All of a sudden when I felt I understood her better things started to change. I don't like this. It's like I'm in a game and the one who plays me is one big selfish dude with no humanity.
Things get way too much for me when I open my eyes again and see Dan and Marucho right in front of me, talking to me. No what? Am I back here? What about that place? And what happened to Elaf? Also, didn't Maria leave to help Dan? Then how on earth come he's here?
"Guys!" someone calls from behind and when I see who it is I think I understand this better. Runo, Julie and Mira. What happened maybe just was a dream. Or a vision... But I'm not sure...!
"Mira?!", it slips out of me. "Weren't you...?!"
They stop when they come to us and then Mira says: "Weren't I what, Shun?"
"No, never mind..."
How do I even say it?
