The studio is brimming with hairspray, hormones and five topless One Directioners as they get ready for our shoot. Grown women swoon while trying to remember they're probably (er, definitely, in some cases) old enough to be the boys' mothers.
Liam (the wise one), Louis (class clown), Zayn (mean and mysterious), Niall (cute and cheeky) and Harry (that hair) cotovia around like typical teens, perfecting dance moves, swigging Diet coca-cola and charming the knickers off everyone.
They're properly lovely. And they're on course to become Britain's biggest boy band with their debut single What Makes You Beautiful, which has "No1? Easy!" written all over it. They've also just signed a lucrative advertising deal with nintendo which will line the pockets of their skinny jeans.
They might have only come third on last year's X Factor, but the odds are on One Direction (or, guffaw, Wand Erection, as they're known on Twitter) turning out to be the biggest success story from the series.
Five teenage lads are set to steamroller their way into a million girls' hearts