Written por innerslytherin@LJ.
Note: After Foyet, Emily asks Hotch not to leave the team.
Come to Milwaukee
He wasn't expecting the knock on the door.
It was almost eight. Jack was in bed, having had a bath and two stories, and Aaron had poured himself a glass of bourbon and was standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring at nothing. Reid had already been por to check on him, and Haley's sister might have agreed to take care of Jack, but she'd made it clear she wanted nothing to do with Aaron. His brother was back in New York, and there was no one else to check on him.
The team hadn't bothered hiding that they were checking on him. The girls brought toys or books for Jack and JJ brought Henry. morgan always showed up with Clooney. None of them pressured him, and Dave flat out refused to give him details about the cases. But they also never let him feel abandoned.
The knock came again.
Aaron took another sip of whiskey and went to the door. He checked the peephole first, which was a habit he hadn't broken himself of since killing Foyet. When he saw Emily Prentiss, he huffed a sigh and had to fight a sinking in his chest. It was always so much harder to say no to Prentiss.
He opened the door and looked at her. She was dressed casually, in jeans and a red top. Her expression was serious, her gaze direct.
"Can I come in?"
It was harder to say no to Prentiss, because he knew how much it cost her to ask. He stood aside and let her in, then closed and locked the door behind her.
"Whiskey?" he offered
Her lips pulled in something that wasn't a smile, but tried to be. "Please."
"Jack's in bed," he said as he poured her a double. She'd acquired her taste for whiskey from Dave, and one of the brightest moments in Aaron's recent memory was the night the three of them had spent drinking Eagle Rare together in his office in clear and shocking violation of Bureau regulations. The memory of that night had gotten Aaron through some very, very dark places along the journey.
She was careful not to touch him when she took the glass. Some things stayed with her, Ambassador's daughter that she was, and Emily Prentiss had always been careful not to give even the smallest appearance of hitting on her boss. Aaron wouldn't have minded if she'd touched him, but he was someone who had learned to derive comfort from physical contact, once he'd learned that not every touch had to hurt.
They stood in the middle of his cozinha and sipped their whiskey for a moment, then Emily said, "Come to Milwaukee."
Just the words brought tears to his eyes. He knew he was still repairing the emotional barriers that Foyet's attack and Haley's death had brought crashing down, but it didn't quell the surge of embarrassment that Emily Prentiss--that any member of his team who wasn't David Rossi--was seeing him cry.
"I can't," he said quietly. He stared at the floor and took careful breaths to keep the tears from falling.
"One mais case, Hotch," she whispered. He heard the quaver in her voice. It was hard for her to ask, but she probably didn't know how much he appreciated that she did.
"Prentiss..."
He heard her gulp and exhale hard at the burn of whiskey. "The team needs you."
He had gone to her after her resignation. He had recognized the tragedy of it as he walked out of the início he shared with his wife, as he drove to Emily's Washington loft, as he knocked on her door...he had understood the sad commentary it was on his life. His wife was cheating on him with someone who didn't answer the phone. He was cheating on his wife with Emily Prentiss and Spencer Reid and dozens and hundreds of dead women and men and children who had no other voices to speak for them. He had seen the symbolism even as his coração was breaking over his wife's infidelity, over the impossibility of what she asked of him.
And when he stood in Emily's cozinha and outlined what he knew Strauss had done...when he listed his own failings and his own needs...when he saw the pain Emily Prentiss tried to hide when she truly believed he thought she had been party to Strauss' deception... He had known then what his decision would be.
Emily Prentiss was necessary to him. Derek morgan was necessary to him. All of this was necessary--the team, the work, the feeling that he was making a difference in the ugliness humans made of this world.
"Come to Milwaukee," Emily said again, standing in his cozinha two years after he had asked her to stay. "Please."
He had believed in her then, and she had deserved it. She believed in him now, and he had never felt less deserving.
Aaron let out a ragged breath and shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. The tears escaped, and then he felt her hand settle gently on his shoulder. He had believed in her, and he had mentored her, and he had seen her grow into an excellent agent and profiler. He had mentored everyone on the team, and somehow he had created a family. They had stood por him when Foyet made him weak. They had helped him while he hunted Foyet. And they were holding him up now, in Foyet's aftermath.
And while Reid might give him puppy-dog eyes and morgan might get in his face...while Dave would cheerfully kick his bunda for him and Garcia would refuse to process his early retirement...while JJ would be understanding but hopeful... It was always so much harder to say no to Prentiss, because she so rarely asked for anything.
Finally he took a long breath and murmured, "Why would I ever want to leave the BAU?"
Note: After Foyet, Emily asks Hotch not to leave the team.
Come to Milwaukee
He wasn't expecting the knock on the door.
It was almost eight. Jack was in bed, having had a bath and two stories, and Aaron had poured himself a glass of bourbon and was standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring at nothing. Reid had already been por to check on him, and Haley's sister might have agreed to take care of Jack, but she'd made it clear she wanted nothing to do with Aaron. His brother was back in New York, and there was no one else to check on him.
The team hadn't bothered hiding that they were checking on him. The girls brought toys or books for Jack and JJ brought Henry. morgan always showed up with Clooney. None of them pressured him, and Dave flat out refused to give him details about the cases. But they also never let him feel abandoned.
The knock came again.
Aaron took another sip of whiskey and went to the door. He checked the peephole first, which was a habit he hadn't broken himself of since killing Foyet. When he saw Emily Prentiss, he huffed a sigh and had to fight a sinking in his chest. It was always so much harder to say no to Prentiss.
He opened the door and looked at her. She was dressed casually, in jeans and a red top. Her expression was serious, her gaze direct.
"Can I come in?"
It was harder to say no to Prentiss, because he knew how much it cost her to ask. He stood aside and let her in, then closed and locked the door behind her.
"Whiskey?" he offered
Her lips pulled in something that wasn't a smile, but tried to be. "Please."
"Jack's in bed," he said as he poured her a double. She'd acquired her taste for whiskey from Dave, and one of the brightest moments in Aaron's recent memory was the night the three of them had spent drinking Eagle Rare together in his office in clear and shocking violation of Bureau regulations. The memory of that night had gotten Aaron through some very, very dark places along the journey.
She was careful not to touch him when she took the glass. Some things stayed with her, Ambassador's daughter that she was, and Emily Prentiss had always been careful not to give even the smallest appearance of hitting on her boss. Aaron wouldn't have minded if she'd touched him, but he was someone who had learned to derive comfort from physical contact, once he'd learned that not every touch had to hurt.
They stood in the middle of his cozinha and sipped their whiskey for a moment, then Emily said, "Come to Milwaukee."
Just the words brought tears to his eyes. He knew he was still repairing the emotional barriers that Foyet's attack and Haley's death had brought crashing down, but it didn't quell the surge of embarrassment that Emily Prentiss--that any member of his team who wasn't David Rossi--was seeing him cry.
"I can't," he said quietly. He stared at the floor and took careful breaths to keep the tears from falling.
"One mais case, Hotch," she whispered. He heard the quaver in her voice. It was hard for her to ask, but she probably didn't know how much he appreciated that she did.
"Prentiss..."
He heard her gulp and exhale hard at the burn of whiskey. "The team needs you."
He had gone to her after her resignation. He had recognized the tragedy of it as he walked out of the início he shared with his wife, as he drove to Emily's Washington loft, as he knocked on her door...he had understood the sad commentary it was on his life. His wife was cheating on him with someone who didn't answer the phone. He was cheating on his wife with Emily Prentiss and Spencer Reid and dozens and hundreds of dead women and men and children who had no other voices to speak for them. He had seen the symbolism even as his coração was breaking over his wife's infidelity, over the impossibility of what she asked of him.
And when he stood in Emily's cozinha and outlined what he knew Strauss had done...when he listed his own failings and his own needs...when he saw the pain Emily Prentiss tried to hide when she truly believed he thought she had been party to Strauss' deception... He had known then what his decision would be.
Emily Prentiss was necessary to him. Derek morgan was necessary to him. All of this was necessary--the team, the work, the feeling that he was making a difference in the ugliness humans made of this world.
"Come to Milwaukee," Emily said again, standing in his cozinha two years after he had asked her to stay. "Please."
He had believed in her then, and she had deserved it. She believed in him now, and he had never felt less deserving.
Aaron let out a ragged breath and shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. The tears escaped, and then he felt her hand settle gently on his shoulder. He had believed in her, and he had mentored her, and he had seen her grow into an excellent agent and profiler. He had mentored everyone on the team, and somehow he had created a family. They had stood por him when Foyet made him weak. They had helped him while he hunted Foyet. And they were holding him up now, in Foyet's aftermath.
And while Reid might give him puppy-dog eyes and morgan might get in his face...while Dave would cheerfully kick his bunda for him and Garcia would refuse to process his early retirement...while JJ would be understanding but hopeful... It was always so much harder to say no to Prentiss, because she so rarely asked for anything.
Finally he took a long breath and murmured, "Why would I ever want to leave the BAU?"