Now, there was a time when I actually supported shipping… I was a very sad, pathetic, and very stupid kid growing up. Now that I have matured a bit, I can see that shipping is basically a way of forcing two characters into a relationship, when I bet they are thinking, “Oh god, please kill me”. So, I am going to tell you all the shipping that I hate the most. Before I start, I just want to say that you are not a bad person if you like this sort of shipping. So, I would respect it if you didn’t hate on me for hating something you like. Now, lets piss off some shippers. Also, I have imagens for this review….. Cause why the fuck not
#10: Ash and Misty (Pokemon)
Now, I know that this is one of the most popular, if not the most popular shipping in all of the Pokemon community. These two have been seen together since season one, and they are still known as the best shipping in Pokemon… Unless you’re me, in which case, this shipping sucks. Now, why do I hate this so much. Well, sure, Ash and Misty do have their moments, but all they do is argue and argue and argue. Not to mention people look at this as the cutest thing imaginable. Yes, because, when I think of the best couple in history, I don’t think of The Princess Bride, I don’t think of Titanic, and I don’t think of the fuckton of disney movies. No. I think of two little shits arguing over small stupid things every two goddamn seconds.
#9: Twilight and Trixie (My Little Pony)
Oh how I wish I could say this is the last MLP shipping you’ll see on the list… That’s a bit of foreshadowing for you. Anyway, if you thought that Ash and Misty argued too damn much, get a load of this shit. Not only do they argue, but Trixie threw Twilight out of Ponyville and she even ran it like something out of Hitler’s fantasies. And yet…. people think that this is the sort of thing you use to ship these two? WHY!? If that was the case, than I could write a ship fic of Porky and Lucas in Mother 3. Lets see. Porky killed Lucas’s mother and then enslaved his brother, whom he ordered to kill Lucas, and Lucas falls in amor with Porky because of it. THAT IS A PERFECT FUCKING IDEA! Also, you’re a moron if you believe this. Seriously, if you can ship these two together, than you can basically ship any mortal enemy. This fanfic proves it, unfortunately.
#8: Roy and Envy (Fullmetal Alchemist)
See!? SEE!? I fucking told you. You can take mortal enemies, ship them, and it some how manages to be fucking popular. Seriously, who looked at these two, these characters who hate each other and later fought to the death, and thought “Man, those two are a cute couple”. No, I don’t think that anyone, anywhere, would have thought that this was okay. Until some guy came and made this shipping. I swear, what’s next… Hitler and Jesus- Oh wait (Also, no, that will not be on this list, because that would be too obvious)
#7: Big Macintosh and Smarty Pants (My Little Pony)
Now, I have seen all kinds of romance in fanfiction. So, where does paraphilia fall in. I’d say it’s worse than incest, but not as bad as pedophilia. Now, let me begin to say that THIS IS A STUPID FUCKING IDEA! I mean, seriously. It’s a doll, being shipped with a fucking pony, and I am starting to have flashbacks of the To amor a Patty episode of Spongebob. And that is really not a good thing when you’re making me remember something like that. But seriously though, it seems that now you can ship people with objects….. Does that mean people can ship me with a Gamecube?
#6: Kouta and Yuka (Elfen Lied)
Now, some of you may think I hate this because their cousins. Well, no. In Japan, it’s fine to encontro, data your cousin. In fact, it’s also fine to encontro, data your cousin in certain parts of America- But, lets get back on topic. Anyway, I hate this because Yuka can never take a fucking hint. She knows that Kouta loves Lucy, and yet, she still wants Kouta all to herself. As if to say, “I know you’re dating this person, but you’re gonna encontro, data me anyway”. And considering how great the romance was between Kouta and Lucy was, that just makes it suck even more
#5: Finn and Fionna (Adventure Time)
As Rebeltaxi once said, this is basically like dating your twin sister. Now, this is sorta true, but it is also the very thing that will never happen in a million fucking years. This is because the gender swap episode of the series was a fanfiction. Its a fake. A phony. A fib. A lie. Other synonyms that I am too lazy to look up. So, yeah, you’re shipping someone with a character that is completely fake. Man, that is just fucking desperate.
#4: Sonic and Elise (Sonic ‘06)
Remember Sonic ‘06? Remember it’s god awful gameplay that was way too buggy to enjoy? Remember it’s terrible story that was so bad, it made Troll 2 look good? Remember the voice atuação that was even mais awkward than Sonic games on the Dreamcast? Remember when I said Elise was the worst Sonic character? Well, that still stands. And I still can’t believe they went with this. Yeah, lets ignore Sonic and shipping him with Sally, Amy, or, fuck it, Shadow. Let’s ship him with the character that Wind feels ruined the Sonic game. Yeah, I still hate Elise. And that will never change. Bigs, your not so terrible after all
#3: Ash and pikachu (Pokemon)
Now, what mais can be said? It’s Ash… and Pikachu… And this is basically bestiality…… ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Okay, first off, where the hell is the connection that they are ever a romantic couple. They are only friends, and it is easily seen throughout the show. Not ONCE does it even hint that they are a couple. Secondly, IT’S BESTIALITY! Third, these two were not meant to be a couple, mainly because the latest Pokemon series is beginning to hint at a relationship with Ash. Fourth, IT’S BESTIALITY! Fifth, how would that even work… Like, physically speaking. It makes no sense. And, Sixth, and this is the big one, IT’S FUCKING BESTIALITY!
#2: Spike and Rarity (My Little Pony)
Oh my god. If you wanted to know how much of a fucking idiot I was when I first came to Fanpop, look no further than my obsession with this shipping. Now, why is it so high on the list. Well, some of you may not see it at first, but, let me show you… It’s pedophilia. It’s goddamn pedophilia. Spike is a BABY dragon, and Rarity is a fully grown mare. She has her own job, and she lives in her own home. Spike is still very young, and lives with someone older than him (Then again, there are grown men who live with their parents, but, lets not talk about it). Seriously, I don’t know how, or why, people avoided seeing this. I mean, it’s pedophilia. I don’t care how cute it looks, it is sick, wrong, and fucked up
#1: aguardente de maçã and Big Macintosh (My Little Pony)
Hey, you thought pedophilia was the worst it could get to? Well, no. Fuck no. Lets try something worse. Now, how is incest worse, even though it was already mentioned before, and it was behind pedophilia. Well… you’ll find out in a second. Now, lets talk about this one. Yeah, like I said, dating your cousin is also okay in some parts of America. Dating your goddamn SISTER is a whole other story. But, now, some… “Sane people” on the internet think that aguardente de maçã can only be in a relationship with her goddamn brother, and NO ONE ELSE… except her cousin, because, she’s southern, and all southerners are a bunch of inbred freaks. So says the internet. Oh, but lets go the extra fucking mile. Why not ship Big Mac and Applejack, and lets add…. Applebloom. Yeah, this here. THIS FUCKING HERE! This is what makes this the worst shipping. At least with Kouta and Yuka, and Spike and Rarity, at least they only did one fucked up thing, like incest and pedophilia. But here, they do a bunch of fucked up things at once. And, por god, the porn pics. I have unfortunately seen tons of porn pics of the shippings in the original, but NONE compare to these three. There are pron pics, videos, games, and even fanfics (I smell a review to come por soon). This here is what easily makes it the worst shipping I have ever seen.
#10: Ash and Misty (Pokemon)
Now, I know that this is one of the most popular, if not the most popular shipping in all of the Pokemon community. These two have been seen together since season one, and they are still known as the best shipping in Pokemon… Unless you’re me, in which case, this shipping sucks. Now, why do I hate this so much. Well, sure, Ash and Misty do have their moments, but all they do is argue and argue and argue. Not to mention people look at this as the cutest thing imaginable. Yes, because, when I think of the best couple in history, I don’t think of The Princess Bride, I don’t think of Titanic, and I don’t think of the fuckton of disney movies. No. I think of two little shits arguing over small stupid things every two goddamn seconds.
#9: Twilight and Trixie (My Little Pony)
Oh how I wish I could say this is the last MLP shipping you’ll see on the list… That’s a bit of foreshadowing for you. Anyway, if you thought that Ash and Misty argued too damn much, get a load of this shit. Not only do they argue, but Trixie threw Twilight out of Ponyville and she even ran it like something out of Hitler’s fantasies. And yet…. people think that this is the sort of thing you use to ship these two? WHY!? If that was the case, than I could write a ship fic of Porky and Lucas in Mother 3. Lets see. Porky killed Lucas’s mother and then enslaved his brother, whom he ordered to kill Lucas, and Lucas falls in amor with Porky because of it. THAT IS A PERFECT FUCKING IDEA! Also, you’re a moron if you believe this. Seriously, if you can ship these two together, than you can basically ship any mortal enemy. This fanfic proves it, unfortunately.
#8: Roy and Envy (Fullmetal Alchemist)
See!? SEE!? I fucking told you. You can take mortal enemies, ship them, and it some how manages to be fucking popular. Seriously, who looked at these two, these characters who hate each other and later fought to the death, and thought “Man, those two are a cute couple”. No, I don’t think that anyone, anywhere, would have thought that this was okay. Until some guy came and made this shipping. I swear, what’s next… Hitler and Jesus- Oh wait (Also, no, that will not be on this list, because that would be too obvious)
#7: Big Macintosh and Smarty Pants (My Little Pony)
Now, I have seen all kinds of romance in fanfiction. So, where does paraphilia fall in. I’d say it’s worse than incest, but not as bad as pedophilia. Now, let me begin to say that THIS IS A STUPID FUCKING IDEA! I mean, seriously. It’s a doll, being shipped with a fucking pony, and I am starting to have flashbacks of the To amor a Patty episode of Spongebob. And that is really not a good thing when you’re making me remember something like that. But seriously though, it seems that now you can ship people with objects….. Does that mean people can ship me with a Gamecube?
#6: Kouta and Yuka (Elfen Lied)
Now, some of you may think I hate this because their cousins. Well, no. In Japan, it’s fine to encontro, data your cousin. In fact, it’s also fine to encontro, data your cousin in certain parts of America- But, lets get back on topic. Anyway, I hate this because Yuka can never take a fucking hint. She knows that Kouta loves Lucy, and yet, she still wants Kouta all to herself. As if to say, “I know you’re dating this person, but you’re gonna encontro, data me anyway”. And considering how great the romance was between Kouta and Lucy was, that just makes it suck even more
#5: Finn and Fionna (Adventure Time)
As Rebeltaxi once said, this is basically like dating your twin sister. Now, this is sorta true, but it is also the very thing that will never happen in a million fucking years. This is because the gender swap episode of the series was a fanfiction. Its a fake. A phony. A fib. A lie. Other synonyms that I am too lazy to look up. So, yeah, you’re shipping someone with a character that is completely fake. Man, that is just fucking desperate.
#4: Sonic and Elise (Sonic ‘06)
Remember Sonic ‘06? Remember it’s god awful gameplay that was way too buggy to enjoy? Remember it’s terrible story that was so bad, it made Troll 2 look good? Remember the voice atuação that was even mais awkward than Sonic games on the Dreamcast? Remember when I said Elise was the worst Sonic character? Well, that still stands. And I still can’t believe they went with this. Yeah, lets ignore Sonic and shipping him with Sally, Amy, or, fuck it, Shadow. Let’s ship him with the character that Wind feels ruined the Sonic game. Yeah, I still hate Elise. And that will never change. Bigs, your not so terrible after all
#3: Ash and pikachu (Pokemon)
Now, what mais can be said? It’s Ash… and Pikachu… And this is basically bestiality…… ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Okay, first off, where the hell is the connection that they are ever a romantic couple. They are only friends, and it is easily seen throughout the show. Not ONCE does it even hint that they are a couple. Secondly, IT’S BESTIALITY! Third, these two were not meant to be a couple, mainly because the latest Pokemon series is beginning to hint at a relationship with Ash. Fourth, IT’S BESTIALITY! Fifth, how would that even work… Like, physically speaking. It makes no sense. And, Sixth, and this is the big one, IT’S FUCKING BESTIALITY!
#2: Spike and Rarity (My Little Pony)
Oh my god. If you wanted to know how much of a fucking idiot I was when I first came to Fanpop, look no further than my obsession with this shipping. Now, why is it so high on the list. Well, some of you may not see it at first, but, let me show you… It’s pedophilia. It’s goddamn pedophilia. Spike is a BABY dragon, and Rarity is a fully grown mare. She has her own job, and she lives in her own home. Spike is still very young, and lives with someone older than him (Then again, there are grown men who live with their parents, but, lets not talk about it). Seriously, I don’t know how, or why, people avoided seeing this. I mean, it’s pedophilia. I don’t care how cute it looks, it is sick, wrong, and fucked up
#1: aguardente de maçã and Big Macintosh (My Little Pony)
Hey, you thought pedophilia was the worst it could get to? Well, no. Fuck no. Lets try something worse. Now, how is incest worse, even though it was already mentioned before, and it was behind pedophilia. Well… you’ll find out in a second. Now, lets talk about this one. Yeah, like I said, dating your cousin is also okay in some parts of America. Dating your goddamn SISTER is a whole other story. But, now, some… “Sane people” on the internet think that aguardente de maçã can only be in a relationship with her goddamn brother, and NO ONE ELSE… except her cousin, because, she’s southern, and all southerners are a bunch of inbred freaks. So says the internet. Oh, but lets go the extra fucking mile. Why not ship Big Mac and Applejack, and lets add…. Applebloom. Yeah, this here. THIS FUCKING HERE! This is what makes this the worst shipping. At least with Kouta and Yuka, and Spike and Rarity, at least they only did one fucked up thing, like incest and pedophilia. But here, they do a bunch of fucked up things at once. And, por god, the porn pics. I have unfortunately seen tons of porn pics of the shippings in the original, but NONE compare to these three. There are pron pics, videos, games, and even fanfics (I smell a review to come por soon). This here is what easily makes it the worst shipping I have ever seen.
