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Robot 1: And I was like, “That’s what she said”.
Robot 2: Ha ha, that joke never gets old
Robot 1: Yeah. Anyway….. Wait, did you hear that
Robot 2: (Turns to see something running at them) Oh shit
Robot 1: Okay, don’t worry. We were created for this very purpose. We can do this. Shoot him (Fires at thing)
Sonic: Get out of the way (Jumps over robots)
Robot 1: ……………….. Shit
(Meanwhile)
Droid 1: Dr. Robotnik, it appears-
Eggman: What did I tell you two about calling me Robotnik. It’s Eggman, goddamn it. Get it right
Droid 1: Sorry, Eggman. Anyway, Sonic is on his way here right now to try and take back our specimen
Eggman: You mean the annoying brat that won’t shut up
Cream: Oh, I should have known Eggman was working in illegal sex trading. Right Cheese
Cheese: (With deep African American voice) Yeah
(Meanwhile)
Tails: Okay, Amy, now, keep an eye on Sonic
Amy: Of course I will (Looks at Sonic) Mmm… look at that bunda
Tails: AMY
Amy: Right, sorry
Tails: Okay, now to give him the ring (Launches ring toward Sonic)
Sonic: (Catches ring) Hey, thanks Amy
Tails: WHAT! I was the one that launched the ring toward you
Sonic: Tails, come on. Stop stealing Amy’s spotlight. Your Tails, your useless
Tails: Rrrrrrrrr
(Meanwhile)
Eggman: Anyway, I want you to stop Sonic at any cost. Don’t let him get in here
Sonic: Too late
Eggman: ROBOTS, YOU HAD ONE JOB
Giant Robot: Oh, sorry, Eggman. I’ll shoot him (Fires at Sonic)
Sonic: Hey, over here
Giant Robot: Don’t worry, Eggman, I got him
Eggman: No wait, don’t shoot
(Sonic jumps out of the way as the Giant Robot shoots, destroying the machine behind Sonic and causing it to get brighter)
Eggman: Oh holy mother of fu- (Explosion)
Sonic: Uh, where am I
Police: Hey, look, it’s a blue guy. Lets beat him up because were cops, and we can do what we want. Dog pile
Sonic: Dog what (Police jump on Sonic)
Police: Okay, lets look at him for no reason on three. One, two, THREE (Police pull on each others legs)
Sonic: Ha, too easy
Police: (Catch Sonic in a net) I got him. I got him
Text: Congratulations. You caught a wild Sonic
Sonic: Oh hell no. (Runs off)
Police: Attention all officer, there is some blue hedgehog running around. When you catch him, drag him to a secluded area and beat the crap out of him so no animal activists come and try to stop it.
(Later)
Police: Okay, we got a roadblock set up. There’s no way he’ll get across
Sonic: Crap, they got a roadblock set up. There’s no way I’ll get across
Police: Unless he can jump, but why would anyone give him that idea
Sonic: Hey, good idea (Jumps over roadblock)
Police: Nice one, Dave
Police: Oh, Shut up
Police: Hey, Cool Guy
Cool Guy: Yeah, what
Police: We need your help to catch a blue hedgehog
Cool Guy: Why’s it gotta be me
Police: Well….. We kinda suck
Cool Guy: Damn right. Now, I’ll go catch him. Highway Police. Assemble
Sonic: Well, this could have gone better. What kind of unfair laws are this. I’m blue, so that makes all this a hate crime, right
Cool Guy: oi you, you must be the blue hedgehog
Sonic: Yeah, and you must be Captain Fucking Obvious. Seriously, how many blue talking hedgehogs do you see around here
Cool Guy: Anyway, we are the Highway Police
Sonic: …………. Lame
Cool Guy: Okay, you know what, screw this catch him
Sonic: Okay. Time to go. WHOP WHOP WHOP WHOP (Runs off) (Highway Police chase him)
Sonic: Okay, come on, you can do this Sonic. Just try to do what most idiots would do….. FLY (Flies off highway) Holy shit, it actually worked (Stops flying) And there it goes (Falls but grabs onto nothing) Whoa, thank god I grabbed the….. large chunck of nothingness…….. OH COME ON, WWG, THAT’S JUST LAZY
Writer: IT’s all I could think of. Just go along with it
Sonic: (Sigh) Okay, how do I get down from here. Think Sonic, think. What would she do. Hmmm
(Thinks)
Elsa: Let it Go. Let it Go
Sonic: Great idea (Lets go) No wait. No no (Falls) DAMN YOU Frozen - Uma Aventura Congelante AND YOUR CATCHY MUSIC!!! (Falls in pool) Umm… Did I just fall in water… (Heres beeping noise) I’m going to die, aren’t I
Chris: Huh, what was that (Walks outside and sees something in the pool)
Sonic: DEAR GOD, HELP ME (Counter starts going down)
Chris: (Pulls Sonic out of water)
Sonic: (Breathes) Oh, thank God
Chris: Hedgehog?
Sonic: Yeah, I’m a hedgehog
Chris: Friend?
Sonic: UH…. Okay
Chris: Stay with me
Sonic: Uh, no thanks
Chris: That wasn’t a choice (Knocks out Sonic and drags him into his room) Now we can be great friends
Robot 1: And I was like, “That’s what she said”.
Robot 2: Ha ha, that joke never gets old
Robot 1: Yeah. Anyway….. Wait, did you hear that
Robot 2: (Turns to see something running at them) Oh shit
Robot 1: Okay, don’t worry. We were created for this very purpose. We can do this. Shoot him (Fires at thing)
Sonic: Get out of the way (Jumps over robots)
Robot 1: ……………….. Shit
(Meanwhile)
Droid 1: Dr. Robotnik, it appears-
Eggman: What did I tell you two about calling me Robotnik. It’s Eggman, goddamn it. Get it right
Droid 1: Sorry, Eggman. Anyway, Sonic is on his way here right now to try and take back our specimen
Eggman: You mean the annoying brat that won’t shut up
Cream: Oh, I should have known Eggman was working in illegal sex trading. Right Cheese
Cheese: (With deep African American voice) Yeah
(Meanwhile)
Tails: Okay, Amy, now, keep an eye on Sonic
Amy: Of course I will (Looks at Sonic) Mmm… look at that bunda
Tails: AMY
Amy: Right, sorry
Tails: Okay, now to give him the ring (Launches ring toward Sonic)
Sonic: (Catches ring) Hey, thanks Amy
Tails: WHAT! I was the one that launched the ring toward you
Sonic: Tails, come on. Stop stealing Amy’s spotlight. Your Tails, your useless
Tails: Rrrrrrrrr
(Meanwhile)
Eggman: Anyway, I want you to stop Sonic at any cost. Don’t let him get in here
Sonic: Too late
Eggman: ROBOTS, YOU HAD ONE JOB
Giant Robot: Oh, sorry, Eggman. I’ll shoot him (Fires at Sonic)
Sonic: Hey, over here
Giant Robot: Don’t worry, Eggman, I got him
Eggman: No wait, don’t shoot
(Sonic jumps out of the way as the Giant Robot shoots, destroying the machine behind Sonic and causing it to get brighter)
Eggman: Oh holy mother of fu- (Explosion)
Sonic: Uh, where am I
Police: Hey, look, it’s a blue guy. Lets beat him up because were cops, and we can do what we want. Dog pile
Sonic: Dog what (Police jump on Sonic)
Police: Okay, lets look at him for no reason on three. One, two, THREE (Police pull on each others legs)
Sonic: Ha, too easy
Police: (Catch Sonic in a net) I got him. I got him
Text: Congratulations. You caught a wild Sonic
Sonic: Oh hell no. (Runs off)
Police: Attention all officer, there is some blue hedgehog running around. When you catch him, drag him to a secluded area and beat the crap out of him so no animal activists come and try to stop it.
(Later)
Police: Okay, we got a roadblock set up. There’s no way he’ll get across
Sonic: Crap, they got a roadblock set up. There’s no way I’ll get across
Police: Unless he can jump, but why would anyone give him that idea
Sonic: Hey, good idea (Jumps over roadblock)
Police: Nice one, Dave
Police: Oh, Shut up
Police: Hey, Cool Guy
Cool Guy: Yeah, what
Police: We need your help to catch a blue hedgehog
Cool Guy: Why’s it gotta be me
Police: Well….. We kinda suck
Cool Guy: Damn right. Now, I’ll go catch him. Highway Police. Assemble
Sonic: Well, this could have gone better. What kind of unfair laws are this. I’m blue, so that makes all this a hate crime, right
Cool Guy: oi you, you must be the blue hedgehog
Sonic: Yeah, and you must be Captain Fucking Obvious. Seriously, how many blue talking hedgehogs do you see around here
Cool Guy: Anyway, we are the Highway Police
Sonic: …………. Lame
Cool Guy: Okay, you know what, screw this catch him
Sonic: Okay. Time to go. WHOP WHOP WHOP WHOP (Runs off) (Highway Police chase him)
Sonic: Okay, come on, you can do this Sonic. Just try to do what most idiots would do….. FLY (Flies off highway) Holy shit, it actually worked (Stops flying) And there it goes (Falls but grabs onto nothing) Whoa, thank god I grabbed the….. large chunck of nothingness…….. OH COME ON, WWG, THAT’S JUST LAZY
Writer: IT’s all I could think of. Just go along with it
Sonic: (Sigh) Okay, how do I get down from here. Think Sonic, think. What would she do. Hmmm
(Thinks)
Elsa: Let it Go. Let it Go
Sonic: Great idea (Lets go) No wait. No no (Falls) DAMN YOU Frozen - Uma Aventura Congelante AND YOUR CATCHY MUSIC!!! (Falls in pool) Umm… Did I just fall in water… (Heres beeping noise) I’m going to die, aren’t I
Chris: Huh, what was that (Walks outside and sees something in the pool)
Sonic: DEAR GOD, HELP ME (Counter starts going down)
Chris: (Pulls Sonic out of water)
Sonic: (Breathes) Oh, thank God
Chris: Hedgehog?
Sonic: Yeah, I’m a hedgehog
Chris: Friend?
Sonic: UH…. Okay
Chris: Stay with me
Sonic: Uh, no thanks
Chris: That wasn’t a choice (Knocks out Sonic and drags him into his room) Now we can be great friends
